Would it be better to confront my husband about his sexuality or just leave it alone?

“I am all for it as i have always been attracted to them. Thats not the problem.” why wood it be an prob then to ask if he wants 2 do it with a tranny. you and him are in an open rship so he must have has sex with other women so whats the diff with a tranny apart from a di#k

Len, i think your misunderstanding my question.

nah. u said you think he mightn’t be straight cos he want to join in when u have sex with a tranny but im guessing u have sex with other women too so i dont see what the prob is. u said u dont mind him being bisexual but then quest if he might be gay i dont get it as he sleeps with u a woman so if he wants to do it with a tran he must be bi

my mates bisexual but hes only a giver, not a taker and he still classes himself as bisexual even though hes never in his life allowed a man to smash his doors in.

cant do no harm, yes go and ask him.

LOL - “… smash his doors in …” . But has he allowed them to try turning the knob ?

in all honesty all hes ever said to us is that hes a giver, not a taker and that hes never allowed a man to pork him.

in fact ill ask him next time i see him how he deals with the other lad but then he will tell me what hes told me before and that im going through a mid life crisis and i dont know my own sexuality haha

Ah mandy, surely you know better than to classify people into gay, straight, bisexual. It isn’t that simple. Sexuality is more fluid than that. One would argue that a transexual looks more like a woman any how. I’d let go of the labels. I don’t know if confronting would quite be the right way to go about this. If you must, broach it in a different way. But I’d be careful about attaching labels on someone who has not attached a label on themselves. As far as I’m concerned, you can only be bi or gay if you call yourself that. Because those labels are more than just who you like to have sex with it. It’s an entire identity that goes along with it.

The thing is he still loves you and still is with you and is intimate with you than let him live his fantasy and yours as long as you both want the fantasy.

Gender and sexual orientation are not necessarily black and white. FWIW, when I was sysadmin at a university in the USENET days I noticed that transvestite pictures were among the most popular and were downloaded by several professors who I knew to be married (assume happily) and had kids. I think men being attracted to TVs is pretty common.

I am with you on not aqttaching labels to things, but you got a bit too far when you suggest that you are only bi or gay if you call yourself that. For language to make any sense, we need our words to mean something. I realize words are sometimes loaded with historical and cultural baggage, but if you are a man and you sleep with women and men, I think you shouldn’t get your panties in a bunch if someone calls you a bi-sexual.

Anyway, your answer was solid! Thanks.

Language does not apply to all cultures. There are cultures where men are not considered gay unless they are the ones being penetrated. We cannot attach our labels onto them. Sexuality is not as black and white as we like to think it is.