When it all falls apart

I’m not sure where to start, or what the problem is. All I know is that there deff is one.

I’m 15- of course I’m going to be emotional. Of course I’m going to have my share of problem’s…that’s just life. But I haven’t been happy for a while- regardless of what I’m doing. I can’t explain it, because I just feel stupid about whining over little stuff. I can’t control my emotions. I cry multiple times a day- thinking about my “horrible life.”

I haven’t had such a bad life- it’s had problem’s- but who’s hasent? My dad hasen’t even been a part of my life. Shorty after I was born he got on drugs, and it declined rapidly from there. He tried to kill my mom numerous times, so we left. I haven’t talked to him in years, although I see him on weekends when I visit my grandmother. (she says he know’s he doesn’t deserve me.) My grandpa died 2 years ago in october. He was like a dad to me, and I haven’t stopped hurting since then. My mom takes pills- Now she handles it really well and no one knows but my family. I know- but we don’t discuss it. (not the healthiest relationship) She’s a single mom, she works- but we struggle. My grandmother tries to control every move we make, and to top it all off- were moving to her house- because it’ll be cheaper. It’s huge, but seeing her everyday will no doubt drive me crazy. I’ve been dating a black guy for a year now, and it’s not acceptable. They found out, and think were over. I emotionally eat- I’m not big, but im not tiny like my perfect cousin lyndsee. They tell me I’ll never get a date like that. My mom’s been dating the same guy for 8 years. It’s not going anywhere… And she know’s it. She doesn’t want to leave him, and be alone.

Im never happy- I cant be. I need something. Something’s hurting me, and I don’t know what.. Somethings got to change. I don’t know what question to ask- I just need help.

Answer #1

First of all ~ I see SO much of myself in you. When I was 15 - I went through a similar trial of depression and feeling as though things were horrible, the pain was so deep that it seemed incureable.

Focusing on the positives, won’t help because if I recall… it doesn’t really seem like there is anything positive out there to grasp onto.

It also doesn’t help when you have family in your ear telling you how you’ll never get a date because you aren’t thin enough.

Ask your mom to make you a doctors appointment. She doesn’t have to know why… and talk to your doctor about getting on anti- depressants. Its not going to fix everything, but you will notice a HUGE difference. You’ll feel more in control of your own emotions, you won’t feel as though its all hopeless, and you’ll be able to find a more positive and stable existance.

There are some things in life we can’t control… and this is one of them.

In addition to the medication, try and spend more time with your friends, your boyfriend ~ surround yourself with the people you love to be with. Also, get a journal. I had a younger cousin of mine who put on some weight and became suicidal… and I bought her a journal and whenever she was hurt or upset… I told her to write in it.

To date she carries it with her everywhere as it gives her an outlet that doesn’t truly force her to expose her depression or her “inner demons” if you will…

Best of luck to you, you aren’t whining about your life… I think this is something beyond your control and I think you have a right to feel the emotions that you do. Should you ever need to talk, feel free to email me.

Answer #2

you need to calm down and take a few mins on your own in your room this sounds hippyish but get a few incence sticks nice ones and maybe a few devilish snack like chocolate, cake your fave thihngs call a friend and ask them if they want a sleepover and if you dont want a sleepoverr then sit in your room with a movie and just relax but defo wid choc popcorn ect. and nice incence are proven to sooth your brain hope this helped xxx

Answer #3

Yes, focus on the positives! You may be 15, but in a few years you can be independent, move out, and take charge of your own life. You can look forward to that. Your life may not be perfect, but it’s way better than many people in the world who don’t have a place to call home, or any family members, or anyone to love or be loved, etc. Really, you know everyone has their own problems, but it’s how you tackle the problems in life that makes you different. You can’t let things like that overtake your emotions.

Answer #4

um your problem right there, instead of focusing on how sh*tty your life is focus on whats good about it. for every bad thought you have, think a good one. it helps. try smiling even when youre not happy. no offence hun but you dont have it that bad, look at other people and what theyre going throguh. suck it up, dont be such a drama queen, and get your poop in a group or everything will just get worse and worse.

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