What do you think of my war poem ?

I’ve been working on a war poem and I was wondering what you guys thought of it (: Its not that long though … Is it so hard trying to drag yourself over the top? Knowing there are people waiting for you on the other side The brave hearted man shouts “keep your heads down! ” The mud. The stench. The noise is almost too much

If I die it will be for my king and country, Hopefully a better world for people to live in, A story to tell and show we held our heads up in the tough times, But the question running through our minds why ?

Any feedback will be awesome thank you :d

Answer #1

its okay. like I think its better than most I’ve seen but you changed from third person to first person. that throws the whole thing off. and put more metaphors and similes in your poem.

Answer #2

It’s really really really good!!

Answer #3

doesn’t really make me think of war it’s talking more of the warriors and knights than war perhaps you should call it The Warrior’s Poem

Answer #4

It is average nothing unique about it, put some metaphors in it it be perfect! these shackles keep my soul from taking flight, like the sun holds the light freedom all give may I live something creative that makes you get int profound thought.

Answer #5

its really good! try adding ellipsis point (…) before “why” in the last line just to make it flow, but really good!

Answer #6

wow that poem is very thoughtful,well wrote!

Answer #7

It’s a really cool poem

Answer #8

thank you :)

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