What do you think of my poem "True Happiness"?

Even if it takes forever to see What happiness really meens to me I understand love will always be In perfect harmony Between you and me

One day you will come to know That no matter how far you may go The joys and sorrows that we share Are just like the touch of your hair

Yet I can only say This love for you will never decay I love you every single day And in every single way And it pains me to see you fading away

Answer #1

I think you need to mix up your rhyme scheme, it’s a bit dull the way you’ve written it. It seems as though you tried to hard to rhyme. Careful you don’t cut off the flow of your poetry. It’s not bad.

Answer #2

in respose to kissielove. poetry is personalized and he may feel like the touch of her hair is iss like a breath of fresh air or sumthing like that. so you cant say it doesnt make sence because I bet in his eyes it does. as for the poem itsself itsbetter than sum of the poems I read but not super great. but you have potential!

Answer #3

I like it except one thing it line with tthe hair that kinda doesnt make since because maybe there hair is like soft and your sorrows are soft??

Answer #4

its goood =]

Answer #5

I love it and there is no complains. you aimed it with an A+++…love you.. love that guy who writes poems

Answer #6

omggg!!! I LOVE IT!!! it speaks to me lmaozz xD

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

Teo's World of Happiness

Книги, Козметика, Хоби

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

KitabDeal.com

Books, Education, Personal Development

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community