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What do you think(criticism)?

The lay in distraught, The corpses fester, Just in time for dinner, In this dismal grot, It’s a real killer.

A Scene So obscene, They chow down like heathens, Gorging themselves Without given reason To their solemn frown Or indignant greed.

The corrupted seed lies within, We are sick have been tricked Into cannibalism!

T’was written in a chartroom a year ago. The topic I was tagged(poetic tag, it’s pretty fun) was “Just in Time For Diner”. It’s not my best work. I figured I’ld give equal chance and let people critique me, let me know what they think. My work is copyright protected, so please do not steal any of my work.

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Answer #1

it’s just the way I prefer to write, breaking things into stanzas it gives more power to each part, makes it more renowned

might you elaborate what I might do better, please and thank you ^_^

Answer #2

this poem is ok but the way you broke up your poem kinda makes it awkward.

Answer #3

Lol! smart move to protect it. this poem is indeed dark. I enjoyed reading it and if it isn’t your best poem then you must have one heck of a brilliant mind.

Answer #4

no, it’s no where near my to be honest. It was written over a year ago thank you for your comment ^_^

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