What do I do if my girlfriend has cheated with my bestfriend?

Me and my girlfriend (Christina) met at a party in the summer when we were graduating high school, she ended up having a fling with one of my friends James, while I started dating one of her friends Julia. I eventually broke up with Julia by the end of the summer because I wanted Christina. Christina and James stopped fooling around cause he treated her like a piece of meat, even though thats how they hooked up.

Anyway, I really felt something for this girl the first time we talked and I know she felt the same. We eventually hooked up, but kept it secret for awhile because she didn’t want to hurt her friend Julia. Eventually things came out and it was official.

By the next summer, I had found out she had cheated on me with some guy at work, who she had being fooling around with at work in the past. She told me it was only once and I still believe her. We ended up breaking up after I found out.

About a year later, I bumped into her in our college and stopped to talk and see how she was. I figured a year had gone by and I was over the harsh feelings. We started hanging out everyday since than and pretty much hit it off from that day. Our feelings were much stronger, we connected much better, we were both more mature, things couldn’t have being better that March. However, the both of us were keeping this secret once again. I defiantly didn’t want my friends to know I was getting back with her after she cheated on me.

April leading into this recent summer 08, my best friend Dave told me she was looking good these days not knowing we had been seeing each other. At that point I got jealous and knew that I was still crazy about her, so he was the first person I told. I would constantly talk to him about my uncertainties about Christina at the same time talk about how good she made me feel. Whether it was a good move or not. I guess I should not have really worried so much about what he or anyone else thought, but it all got into my head. I had a birthday party at a bar in the summer, most of my friends were there. She was there too, this was the first time we were going to be seen together again. I didn’t know how I should be, so I kind of distanced myself from her a bit and didn’t spend as much time with her at the party as I would have liked . That night basically turned into a big mess between us and somehow got brushed under the rug, well for me at least.

After that day things changed, she had a lot more attitude with me and wasn’t as sweet. I let some more of my friends get to my head, so my friend Dave took me out two or three times later on in the summer where I ended up getting pretty drunk and making out with 3 girls on separate occasions. One of them brought me back to her place, but I said no to sex cause all I could think of was Christina, and I left. Later when I met up with my friend Dave I told him that I slept with her, just cause I didn’t want to look like and idiot that cared so much for this girl that cheated on me. I know in my heart that I got with those girls out of spite and for my pride.

Later on in the summer I began to notice Dave talking about Christina a lot, asking many personal questions about her, like sexual preferences and what not. I was never really comfortable with that at all and always attempted to change the subject. I began to notice Dave acting very rude and unusual with me. I noticed Christina had similar behavior. I also noticed that they would call me around the same times. Ex. I would talk to Christina on the phone who would tell me she was working or was doing something, I called him, no answer. An hour later I would get a call from both of them 5 - 10 minutes apart. This happened so many times in the summer. I eventually started catching on. She would always come over to my place with red eyes, either because she was smoking with him or cause he was blowing in her face and got some cum in her eyes, cause thats what I do sometimes.

Dave basically acted like a total asshole to me all summer and I could never figure out why, and when I eventually confronted him to ask if anything was going on, he denied everything, and had no explanation as to why he was acting very disrespectful to me. He kept telling me just to break up with her and thats it.

When I confronted my girlfriend she would become very upset and defensive, and I really feel that she was fucking him behind my back that summer. She called me paranoid a lot, and said that was to blame. When the three of us would stand together, the two of them won’t even look to one another.

Before you call me paranoid, here was the thing that really caused my suspicion. One day I was hanging out talking to Dave, and I guess he was being an ass to me, he said “who says “what are you saying”, like what is that supposed to mean anyway”.

The next day I was hanging out with Christina and she said the exact same thing to me with the exact same mannerisms. This kind of thing happened with a few other things. Leading me to believe that they were obviously talking with one another. Also when I told my friend James about the whole thing, he told me that Dave was talking to him about some girl that he was screwing, and when James asked about it, he would constantly brush it off. James also mentioned how Dave was always talking about Christina (before I even mentioned to him my suspicion).

So what the hell. Every time it comes down to it I have no fucking evidence, just this painful feeling inside. I don’t talk to Dave anymore, but I am still with Christina.

I tell myself its all paranoia, and try to move on. I love her a lot, the two of us have never being better. This feeling keeps coming up, I even dream about it.

I really don’t know what to do, I love her so much and I just don’t know whether to move forward and start living together. I’m afraid of going so far with her and finding out this terrible thing happened and its true. I avoid most people I know these days, because I still have this inner feeling that about it.

Please tell me what you think, I don’t know what to do.