How can I become satisfied with my married life?

I have some ideas - and they’re free :-) so use the ones you like best.

1. Your husband needs to know you respect him and are proud of him as much as you need to know he loves you. Tell him so, OK? You may be surprised what it sparks in him.

2. Set him up to succeed. When he comes home after work are you prepared for him if he gets the urge? You don’t have to meet him at the door wearing a babydoll or fix dinner in a French Maid costume or anything, but be ready to “take him” or for him to “take you” if things turn that direction. Every ten days or so call him about the time he usually leaves work and let him know in that special tone of voice that you can’t wait to get your hands on him when he comes through the door. He’ll make it in record time. ;-)

3. Celebrate at least one Ten Second Kiss a day. There’s a whole book on that idea, it’s worth checking out of the library.

4. How about using your 10-year mark as a good excuse (reason?) to talk about the NEXT ten? Go out for a nice long dinner alone - (kids at the sitters or grandma’s). Decide and agree ahead of time that you won’t let yourselves talk about the last ten years- everything that’s happened is a “given” anyway - only the NEXT ten.

We’ve done well our first ten years together and we can make some plans for the next ten so they’re as good or even better than the first ten.

• How old will the kids be in ten years? What do we want our home to be like?
• What kind of financial condition do we want to be in ten years from now (be real - no fairy-tales) and don’t forget getting a start on college funds for the kids.
• What do we want our love life to be like?
• What kinds of jobs do we want to have? Will we both work? Just knowing will help when options come up.
• Will where we’re living now be OK in ten years or will we want to change something?
• What enjoyments do we want to take in? Travel? Hunting? Sports? A Cabin somewhere? We should plan, save and budget so we can.

After dinner you can come back home (any chance the kids can stay overnight at grandpa & grandmas? ) you can enjoy his favorite dessert and review the things you talked about. And you have the opportunity of a decade. “You know what I really like, Honey? We don’t have to wait ten years for our love life to be the envy of all our friends - we can do it right away!” (find the remote between kisses and turn off the TV so you can focus on each other) ;-)

What you’ll have done is take charge of where you’re going as a couple, talked about the big picture, and started with the loving part, the part that’s frustrating you the most.

That ought to do it for now, hmm? Note me if you want to talk more. You can do this! Guy

PS you forgot all about that other guy while you read these lines, didn’t you? Good. Focus your attention on your man and moving in the direction you know you both want to go in. Sometimes we guys catch on after you do - that’s ok.