Do you think her life would be better without me?

Hello,

I am a 28 year old man living in Britain.

Objectively, I beleive I am a wreck. Professionnally I am fairly OK, as far as education is concerned, I hold the highest possible degree in my profession. I am happy with my work. My personal life is a mix a deceiptful behaviour to the woman I love, completely and financially wrecked. through the goodness of her heart my wife gave me thousands of pounds. Funny enough, I do not drink or gamble or use the money for sexual or other favours. I just spend too much on coffee drinking (3 to 4 a day). I am in debt for the tune of £6000. I am very loyal, I do love my wife dearly. I have had a normal childhood as anyone from my background . Granted, I did not play as much as I wanted, however, all children will say the same thing. I lost one of my parent few years back and this affected me really badly. Looking back at it. The money problems started then. However, once I become financially less secure, I went into a depression. At the same time as meeting the most beautiful girl, my woife. I lied baout my background and wealth, and then a year later I could not keep up the appearance. I just told her the truth. She was devastated. I was selfish, so I did not let her go for two reasons, feared that she might hurt/kill herself as well as the fact that I deceided we are meant for each other. Then, life moved on, and I said I wanted to propose but I did not keep my word (as far as the timing is concerened). I delayed it by two years. then we got engaged, but did not marry till few years later. The wedding was nothing I wanted. It was bismal. \ a year earlier we had an abortion (less than one month old). Regretted ever since. Also, I have never dealt with my depression and was becoming very violent, I almost hit my wife several times (never did though). But came very close. I become very scary, she must have felt so unsafe, so unloved.

I hate my self for what I did to her. All the way, she was kind and nice to me. I never liked her way of telling me how to improve. She always tell me that I am Crap and I am not man. Now , I know I am crap.

Do you think her life will be better with me out of her life? Any suggestions that I should do to improve? can this marriage be saved?

Thanks in anticipation