Thoughts on this poem please

This was written about my relationship with my x, we fell in love got pregnant,drifted apart,lost our way from one another and 6yrs later found our way back to one another so I wrote them to him.

Strangers we once were

Friends we became

Laughs and smiled seemed endless

With your arms around me

My heart began to melt

I couldn’t believe how warm I felt

One special moment a new life made

Instead of sharing in the joy we went our own ways

Months passed with no words exchanged

Until the day our world would change

Held in my arms a baby so sweet

All I could do was think of me and you

Trying to be friends again life just didn’t work

Screaming and fighting we went opposite ways

Finding comfort in another we seemed to go astray

Years began to go by and relationships started to fade

Seperated for so long yet all it took was a kiss

We found our way back to bliss

Answer #1

…meh

Your lines are choppy and too direct for poetic melody.

Try playing on emotions a little more - all you’re doing is telling a story based on facts and avoiding the most important part of a poem…how it makes you feel.

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

New Thought Images

Motivational Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Social Media Templates

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

Interior Jumbo

Interior designers in Chennai