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Thoughts on this poem please
This was written about my relationship with my x, we fell in love got pregnant,drifted apart,lost our way from one another and 6yrs later found our way back to one another so I wrote them to him.
Strangers we once were
Friends we became
Laughs and smiled seemed endless
With your arms around me
My heart began to melt
I couldn’t believe how warm I felt
One special moment a new life made
Instead of sharing in the joy we went our own ways
Months passed with no words exchanged
Until the day our world would change
Held in my arms a baby so sweet
All I could do was think of me and you
Trying to be friends again life just didn’t work
Screaming and fighting we went opposite ways
Finding comfort in another we seemed to go astray
Years began to go by and relationships started to fade
Seperated for so long yet all it took was a kiss
We found our way back to bliss
…meh
Your lines are choppy and too direct for poetic melody.
Try playing on emotions a little more - all you’re doing is telling a story based on facts and avoiding the most important part of a poem…how it makes you feel.
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