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Please critique my poem

What do you think of my poem? I know you write a lot of poems and stuff, so I thought you might have a good idea about wether or not it’s any good…

When I awake in morning’s gentle light, You are the birds, beginning to take flight. In those fuzzy-edged moments before the sun’s rays, You are there, to bring me out of my dull haze. When my heart aches, so full of pain, You are my saviour, my drought-breaking rain. My salvation, my religion, my food and my cure, When I am unsteady, you make me feel so sure. My last hour I would want to spend with you, Together untill the grass is heavy with dew.

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Answer #1

That wasn’t deliberate, I wrote the whole thing in about 20 mins. But thanks!

Answer #2

I like it, its a good piece of writing. its good how you thought of the things in the morning and then realted them to everday feelings. its clever.keep it up.

Answer #3

Awesome!

Answer #4

wow 20 miontues… thats something you should brag about… I’m not getting the emotion… you mnow what I mean!!!

Answer #5

Actually, I don’t know what you mean…

Answer #6

agree with emo_gurl. it kind of bored me. sorry

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