How do I stop being so afraid of people?

Attending therapy is a good start so keep it up and try practicing what you’r thought.

uhmm why dontu tell ur therapist all this instead of us :)

I stop being shy and afraid of coming in contact with the public after attending a meditation course. I was taught to look at every person as a peaceful soul and the exterior body is only a shell. By doing so all my fears disappear as I feel a peaceful soul is harmless and this helps me gain confidence in interacting with anybody regardless of their status. In meditation belief all peaceful souls are parallel.

If your shy its natural not to be able to talk to people you dont know very well but you should start small if you want to get over this, start talking with people who are good friends of your friends and see if you can find a common connection with them and if you get that wave of shame when theres an arguement with someone over something petty im sure you know this but your not making anyone angry and no ones going to bust on you for believing in something. When you want to say something take a deep breath, dont give in to your negative feelings the minute you accept that you want to cry and feel bad that’s the same minute you will, so just learn to relax and assert yourself around other people even if its in a small way. I’m really shy and shame comes to me easily when i talk to new people so i know how it feels. The things you should cherish while doing all of this is to savor the small victories because their still big steps.

I made an appointment this morning and she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.

Well hopefully the therapy will help with the social phobia. As well as get to the roots of it. Odds are it’s something linked to your childhood. Phobias are all dealt in the same basic way. The only way to get over a fear is by confronting what you’re scared of. This basically means practicing interacting with people. The trick is in therapy to do this in baby steps and with whatever attitude makes sense to you. So like angela has a view of people that focuses on who they are on the inside. That’s one way to do it. If affirmations work for you, then that’s great. These things are all a frame of mind. Reality is what we make of it. Thus reality is just the way we see things. If we can train ourselves to see things differently, then that becomes reality. So use what makes sense to you. There’s no one right answer. A visiting lecturer told us about this guy who would remain calm by imagining he had the properties of a mountain (mountains are grounded, they do not change due to winds and storms and anything else that hits them, etc). That is not something I can entirely adopt, but the basic philosophy behind it makes sense (saying ‘i am a mountain’ would probably just make me laugh, but I can understand the spirit behind it). Point is, you need to take what you can from different places and make it work for you. And give your therapy a chance to start working

ohh well maybe you can ask your friends to help you get past this. i know ive helped lots of friends get over shyness or help them discover themselves. it also helps me so dont feel bad

I’ve always been rather shy and social awkward all my life. As best I can tell mine comes from being made fun of a lot throughout grade school, so I’m afraid of screwing up or making an idiot of my self and being singled out. Its giving me trouble all my life, and made it hard to talk to new people, make new friends, or talk to groups of people I don’t know well. I have had to just deal with it and try to throw myself in situations where I HAVE to interact with people, and HAVE to be the center of attention for a lot of people. I always hate it, feel sick before and after, but it slowly started to make me less self conscious about myself, and also raise my self esteem. My (now ex) g/f is a very out going, out spoken person - so I was dragged into many social situations I would have never chose by myself. Also, working has been a big help for me. I have to work with strangers (customers), so I’m force to deal with my shyness about meeting new people.

So through some of my own choice, and some not I have just thrown myself in social situations that make me extremal uncomfortable - and just grit my teeth and bare it. I know its not the gradual approach most people recommend, but I just got tired of always bing so damn shy. Might not work for you, but thats how I’m deal with it.