What do you think about people who obviously favor one child over the other?

Her mom doesn’t even listen to her… its to the point where I don’t know if there is anything she can do. I was hoping someone would be able to think of something though. She is 18 almost 19 but still living at home, cant afford not to. Its so sad, her mom says she still needs to go by her rules since she’s living under her roof.

i really dont know what to say….. im sorry :(

Its okay, like I said I don’t know either. :(

It’s not right…it’s not fair…it can cause bad feelings between siblings…But there is little she can do. I feel bad for her…it must be very hurtful to know that your mom really doesn’t love you.

omg! now that my brain is functioning better,, my friend is going through the same thing but i still dont know what i can do or say to her all i can do is be a great friend…

I sure try. She is over here every night, and I go and pick her up and bring her stuff when she needs it. I know she needs someone and she is a great friend so I will always do my best. (she is here right now actually)

well hi friend lol :)

I think it’s so unfair, but in this case quite understandable, my parents do it too, don’t get me wrong, i hate it, my sister is favoured by my dad because my parents have split and shes the youngest, but you see that your friends mum is trying to use her son as a replacement, my mum does it with my brother and hes pretty much ‘the man of the house’, i just think as hard as it is, your friend should just try and push through because sooner or later her mum will realise that she is pushing her daughter away, and they’ll no longer have a mother daughter relationship

Wow, I feel bad for your friend. I can relate though. I’m the only male out of 3 kids, and also the youngest. My parents don’t ever congratulate me on anything and my childhood was spent me getting beaten and told that I was a failure. My own mom told me she wanted to get rid of me if only the doctor was there.

It’s not good for your friend. It can cause serious traumatic feelings towards family.I would suggest that maybe she should live with you for a few days and then when she feels ready, she can go and tell her mom how she feels. It doesn’t matter if she won’t listen, she has to make her listen.

Aleksandr, Future USMC 0321

this is not good ! it is horrible for a mother to neglect her daughter and i know this is not gonna seem fair but
tell ur friend to try to approach the mother . i mean try to join in between her brother and her mother maybe spend more time with her and let her mother , no wait .. MAKE her mother see her . maybe the mother is missing a male presence in her life and she is trying to make up for it with her son maybe she is still sad about her husband’s death ur friend should find things her and her mother enjoy and try to attract her mother’s attention . and if that wont work then maybe she should do the opposite and just give her mother the cold shoulder , she should confront her about how she feels about this situation that is going

OMG! dont get me started on that. My mom favors the oldest one. it really sucks but i dont care because i’m almost 18 and i’m getting out!

Thats horrible I’m sorry you grew up like that. She can’t stay with me, she did for a while right after she turned 18 but she decided to move back. When she moved back it was fine for a while, and during that time we gave our extra room to a friend of my hubbies. We aren’t going to kick him out so she can stay here. She does have an offer from another friend to live over there, she may take it. After she gets her car fixed anyways.

i was jumped by my oldest brother and his wife, but my mom didnt do anything about it and thhats why my brother and the wife wasnt scared to jump me. they get away with everything.

Wow, i don’t blame you at all! I hope the best for you and it all works out!!

I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be done. I never did it with my children. What that shows is the parent has more affinity for the one child then the other, and like wise.
It’s a shame because the other child or children pick up on it and have a feeling of not being wanted.
Affinity comes from creating reality. So the parent should find some reality with the other child or children so they don’t feel left out.
Each child is different and there is no reason why a parent can’t have different realities with each. Doing what that child likes and include them into their life is the most important facet of raising children. The best families I’ve noticed always include there children in their lives. I did that. Children need to be wanted by the parent and if the parent finds out what is real to the child and is accepted, not rejected, the child will feel wanted.
I see this all the time where the parents favor one child over the other. It makes the less favored child not wanted. They don’t, most often, excel in life. If they are not wanted by the parent they most often get the same feeling by others, so don’t excel. The child sees no purpose in it.
My suggestion to the child who feels unimportant to the parent is to find something they like to do and excel in that. Don’t worry about the feeling of rejection or parents. Life is about reaching goals. Reach for goals in life so you can help others. Don’t worry about how others treat you. It will all come back to them in time.
My father didn’t have much interest in his children, so in his later life his children had little or no interest in him. He got his just rewards. It was a shame because he was at the end of his life. To have that hurts, I’m sure he felt it. All of us children helped but there was that ‘No Affinity’ there for him. He was alone.
Remember you will get what you put out in life. Help all where needed.

yeah, it happened like two years ago when i was like 13 or 14. I never forgave him and i never will. He’s lucky that i didn’t call the cops on him and his wife.

It would be hard to forgive him. I still have a hard time forgiving my sisters for some of the things they have done to me. They have never jumped me but they keep messing with me emotionally. I still communicate with them for my parents sake, but if it continues after my parents are gone… they won’t know how to get in touch with me. No point in getting hurt if you don’t have to.

Yeah, I think she should take the offer, clear her mind, and come back with a purpose in her life. I think it’s time she told her mom “Look! I know dad died and all, but you can’t neglect me like that! I’m your child and the way you’ve been treating me is just not acceptable!” That’s what I would say to her mom.

Thats not bad… I’ll show her, maybe she will say that. she is to the point where she doesn’t care really.

EVeryone has their favorites of everything. Colors, food, animals…so why not children too? I have no kids, but I favor some of other people’s kids of their other ones. It’s not exactly the same, but ha. I dont see the big deal, yes you should love all your kids equally, but if you like one more than the others, oh well.

im in no way intedning to be rude, but what does ‘jumping’ mean?

like when two or more people beat up 1 person.

your brother did that…thats horrible, im so sorry

its cool. I never forgave him and he tries to find ways to talk to me, but i just ignore him. I will never forgive him till the day i die.

She should give examples of times when its happened to. Most parents usually never care unless you’re specific about an event. Even then, they would try to cover it up with an excuse like whenever I got beat, my mom would say “You deserved it. It was punishment”. I don’t think parents should do that. She should say “Stop treating my brother like he’s better than me! We all know none of us are better, so we should try to work this all out together. If you don’t care, then I am ashamed to call you my mother!”

good on you, he’s getting what he deserves hey, it would have been better if you’d have told someone, but yeah, sorry

I know what you mean… there are qualities of your different kids that you appreciate more than in others. There is so much more examples of what is going on and some of them are worse than others. I don’t want to completely air out her problems on here though. What she is experiencing is a lot more than simple favortism. Something that I didn’t make clear I guess is that her mom is alright, not as bad, except when her brother gets involved. He basically tells his mom how to treat her, and when he is there she listens to him. She allows him to “punish” her by making her walk home from work and church. Its really complicated, idk.

my whole family was there, but they just pulled him away after and their stupid excuse was “i didn’t know what was going on” that just woke me up, but its ok. I have something up my sleeve and its called the law. they just recently jumped my moms sister (auntie) and they think that they can get away with it, but they’re not.

I can understand having a favourite child, you just get on better with some people than others, including your children. However, I do not agree with treating children differently. You may get on better with some of your children but you should love them all and treat them all equally.

I agree. This lack of equal love gives way to sibling rivalry, especially in twins. They feel like they need to compete like in the wild in order to be loved. No parent should ever treat children this way, it’s absurd and only leads to family conflicts.