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Parents trying to control my life?
Hey! I hate my house and im turning 18 in a month.. I want to work but my parents wont let me. I want to work so I can save up and rent an apartment or something I dont want to be here no more. My parents wont let me work bec they say that im still in school.. And that if I work I wont do good in school I have my license and they dont let me drive either oh and I have my own car. They want to control everything in my life even my love relationship. I want to move asap. I need to find a way to work what are some ways that I can convince them to let me work..?
If you have straight A’s and are not a bad kid then your parents have done nothing wrong in raising you the way they have chosen. Abused kids typically have lower grades, as do those whose parents have neglected them, are emotionally mean to them, and who don’t care about them- so you’ll not win any points for that argument. And you have your own car, which judging by what you’ve said about not being able to work, they bought for you. Parents who hate their kids do not buy them cars.
BUT: GOOD JOB, though on straight A’s! That’s very difficult to accomplish, and you should be PROUD of that- carry that through college, and you’ll see a lot more doors open up for you.
I think all teenagers feel like they need more independence than they have. Truth is, five years from now you’re going to be pulling your hair out, trying to make ends meet because you’ll have gained that independence and being an adult is HARD. What ty said about a trial job is an EXCELLENT idea. But you wont get that with a pouty attitude or by being argumentative. You may think you’re right, you may think you know better, but you probably don’t. Your parents were teenagers once too, they remember what it was like, but they have the benefit of knowing what it’s like two, ten, fifteen, and twenty years after high school. You are their child, the decision is ultimately theirs. The sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be. Try going to them in a mature fashion, with a well thought out plan. You need at least three valid points as to why you’ll be better off having the job than not having the job- if you can’t think of three very valid points then you have no argument. I learned THAT in my college debate speech class. Be open to listening to their side, have prepared rebuttals for points you anticipate them making, but don’t be a smart @ss about it. If they say no- leave it. Don’t whine, don’t get angry, don’t say, “AGH, you never let me do anything!”, just say, “I know I’m ready, but I respect your decision, eventhough I disagree with your choice. Thanks for hearing me out.” Or some other variation. If you can sound rational and mature, they’ll take you seriously. But this “my parents hate me, they want me to move out, blahblah” stuff must leave your vocabulary. Very few parents actually HATE their kids. And those kids definitely know who they are… classifying yourself with them is an insult to the suffering and heartache they endure, AND to the parents who have loved you and given you what you’ve needed to grow up.
Until you are out of high school AND 18 or over they can refuse to let you work. If you would go get a job you would need their consent. Just because you think they don’t care doesn’t mean they don’t…how did you get a car? If you can’t work then who paid for it? Who is paying for your insurance for your car? If they didn’t care would they do that?
By the way, just because you’re 18 doesn’t mean you’re an adult. To legally be an adult you have to NOT be in high school. To emotionally be an adult you have to stop whining like a bratty teenager.
‘they dont really care about me they just dont want me to move out’
I want you to say that out loud. Then I want you to explain how that makes any sense? If they didnt care about you, wouldnt they want you to move out? You’re costing them money by living at home. At the very least, if they didnt care about you, why would they care whether you lived at home or not? They are doing a lot considering they dont care about you.
Instead of behaving like an immature kid, because they will then treat you as such, why dont you try approaching them like an adult? What if you took the job on a trail basis? After 4 weeks they can check in on your grades. If they’ve gone down in any way, you can quit
this was supposed to be under parents and family…
wow uhm I do act like a grown up and I didnt ask for you guys to come up with all of that I was just asking for an advice to see if you guys could help me convince my parents to have a job. and I do work but only during summer. funny how all of you assume saying im immature or brattyy.. it was just a question I wasnt explaining my whole life for you to be assuming about me or criticizing me.. and I have my personal reasons of why I want to move out. either way thanks for trying to asnwer my question.
I have straight A’s at school im not a bad kid and up to what I know I have to learn to be independent now bec im going to college in a few months. they cant control everything they may be my parents but im an adult now arent I?
btw they dont really care about me they just dont want me to move out thats all but they dont do me any favors and they are forever blaming me for everything and arguimg with me 90% of the times im grounded for the stupid things ever.
They’re your parents. They made you. You’re a child. They GET to control your life! They’re doing you a favor by not letting you work and ‘making’ you do well in school… You have your whole adult life to slave away at a job.
You could probably help your cause by doing extremely well in school, having a good attitude, and by being genuinely nice to them seeing as how they OBVIOUSLY care a lot about you and your future.
Ok guys I need help, Well I’m 17, in 10th grade. I’m 6’2 and musclar and this year my dad said I should take things more seriously with studying, so hes making me not go to the gym for a whole year.. well I’m already a straight A student and proud.. actually I told him that I LIKE being the top of my class.. I dont smoke.. drink.. do anything to make them feel disappointed.. I’m always a good, respectful guy.. I tried approaching them with a mature way and explaining why I disagree with their decision but this is what my dad said while YELLING ‘’Be a man, stop acting like a kid.. focus on your studying and your future, End of subject, You’ll live your life the way I tell you to, and you’ll like it’’. Well first of all I told him my grades will be the same if not better and I will still be the top of my class. Oh did I mention he didnt like me going on the internet that much? so.. ya to prove I just want a healthy life style I only go on a few hours per week but I’m on right now bec in my head I wanna vent and its late.. -sigh- If I stay at home that long I’ll gain so much fat.. and all my hard work will be for nothing
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