Parents: 16 year old girl, with 25 year old man?

16 year old girl, with 25 year old man?

Let me explain. I’ve been dating this guy. He’s 25, I’m 16. We’ve been dating since I was 14. My parents don’t know this. My parents trust him, with our house and money, but I’m guessing my dad woud shoot him if he ever found out. I just want to know, should I tell them? What might happen to my boyfriend if they found out?

Lets get one thing straight. I have NEVER had sex with him. We’ve made out, slep in the same bed, but thats it

Answer #1

If you really love him (seeing as its been two years and you haven’t doen anything in terms of sex, so that means he’s not pressuring you which means he must be a very pure-at-heart guy), then stay with him.

Answer #2

25 and 16 - is disgusting.

I am 26 and to me 16 is a child. There is something wrong with that guy and I would say your in a dangerous situation. I agree with those that stated you are with a child molester and you need to leave pronto.

Answer #3

Someone needs to call the cops on that perv

Answer #4

what is a 25 year old doing with a 16 year old?!?!?! if you tell your parents they can call the cops on him since hes 25 he can go to jail for 9 years this is called statutory rape! your a girl a TEEN & hes a man also a ADULT your 9 years apart that’s big I know my words will probably go in one ear & out the other cause you really like this guy but seriously think about it your 9 years APART that’s a BIG age gap

Answer #5

I’m not sure what to say to this, because I believe age is just a number and to love who you love (that’s including gay people, love who you love) But there could be one or two things wrong in this situation. There could also be two rights. You know him best so only you can figure it out.

You supposedly don’t have sex with him, therefore he could either be a good guy, and not wanting to get into any trouble with your family, or he could be screwing someone else behind your back. Sad thing is about cheating is you never know unless that 1 bad thing slips, or he tells you straight up, or if 5-10 years down the line you get an STD from that drunk skank at the party. Also, if he liked you at 14, who says he might not like someone else whose 14? You will get older, your breasts will eventually sag, and everything will change your young innocent body into a more mature body, can you look at him then tell yourself he’ll love you then? Also, can he tell you this as well, and mean it?

MY suggestion is, break it off with him. You can stay single, Date people (doesnt mean you have to have sex) around your age, and in 2 years when you hit 18.. if you still feel what you felt for him 2 years ago, then talk to him and see if he wants to still be with you. If he does, then you know it could be love. If he doesn’t, then sorry sweety he played you for a fool, and now it’s too late to fess up to teh cops that this pedo was sleeping in the same bed with you, and some other girl perhaps.

I know it’s sad news, but think of every scenario possible. You shouldn’t have to be asking this online, because somewhere deep down in your stomach, and your heart, you can always tell if a guy is true, lying, and cheating. Possible signs are always the ones we ignore when we are in love.

I hope that helps

Answer #6

if you love each other, its all that matters, a number doesnt mean anything.

Answer #7

onnush, that is bad advice. She is dating a child molestor.

Answer #8

im pretty sure they know…and obviously the’d trust him still

Answer #9

Please don’t take offense, but your username says it all! ;) Maybe you chose that username because, subconsciously, you know that what you are doing is not rational.

in my opinion

  “Ok…so I’m 16 and this guy he’s 25 likes me and I like him…Now he’s a total sweetie, I like so so so so much…but I don’t know if I trust myself…”

I saw a post once that said the guy should be half the girl’s age plus ten years. That would make your choice to be eighteen years old.

There is a very great difference in the degree of maturity, life experience and goals/desires between a girl of 16 and a man of 25. I’m not saying that it is an impossible relationship but very improbable.

You may be excessively attracted to him because of his “perceived” maturity whereas he may be attracted to you because of your naiveté.

You have your whole life of many many years ahead of you. Proceed with caution.

Don’t be afraid to date boys closer to your own age. They are your peers and will have similar goals and aspirations as you and you are most likely to find “Mr. Right” in that group.

  Give yourself a chance. Break it off with him for now. If he is really Mr. Right, he will be waiting for you when, in a couple of years, the time is right and you both have matured into mature consenting adults with a lot more worldly knowledge behind you.

  Welcome to Fun Advice!

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Answer #10

Oh no, here we go again. The “he’s too old for you” argument. Exactly who decides that? And how? And why? And who died and made them God, that they get to decide age gaps for the rest of us?

My Grandfather was 10 years older than my Grandmother, and they stayed married for decades until he died. Our neighbors have a 20 year difference between their ages. Most famously, the famous Bo Derek hooked up with John Derek when she was 16 and he was 46! Yeah, look it up. And guess what? Their marriage lasted 22 years, until he died. Contrast that with all the hook ups / live togthers / marriages between people that are usually only a couple years apart in age, and that crash and burn 65% of the time (ask the Fed. Gov. for that statistic). Hmmm, maybe we should be encouraging older men to pick up younger women, seems the best way to make relationships last.

And test the waters with your parents, they really should know sooner rather than later. Try your mom first, they usually take stuff like this easier than dads. And if they set some rules for you two, so be it, be good for you. But don’t sleep with this guy any more, and ease up on the make outs, you’re just going to get in trouble. Keep being his girl, then the day after it’s legal (to satisfy all the busy bodies around you), marry the dude!

Answer #11

OKay you say that ya’ll been been dating since you was 14 .so while you was 14 he was 23…I think that guy you dating is sick…if you tell your parents he can go to jail . adn if ya’ll having sex he can go to jail for statutory rape.

honestly I really dont think you the only girl he dating, why would he date someone under age when he can find plenty of girls his age that can drink, go to clubs and stuff.

someone is gunna find out…good luck

Answer #12

Yes he can get done for rape. Yes your parents might be angry. Yes people might be looking down on you. But. If your happy, and he makes me you worth living he makes you feel special and he makes you feel wanted, then stay with him, dont take him for granted, if your parents dont want you to be dating him, in a way you will have to listen to what they are saying but go with your gut instinct, if you have been dating for this long you obviously like him to much to care what anyone thinks anymore, I think you should tell your parents sit them down and see their reactions, but do it gently and give them time to think it through im sure they will do what is best for you xx best of luck xx

Answer #13

So…he was dating a 14 yr old at the age of 23??? At this early stage in your life…no, it’s not really a good idea. Sure if you were 21 and he was 30, you might get away with it…and people may not frown upon it as much, but you are not an adult. Even at 21…if you were my daughter…I wouldn’t approve of you dating a 30 yr old…definitely not 14 & 23 or 16 & 25. At that age if you were dating, even if he was an18 year old boy…it would be better, but I would be concerned as a father.

Answer #14

Hun no, no, no you really go to ask your self well wait whats wrong with the girls his age? if hes going after a 14 year old hes got some problems. your just a teen you should be dating people your own age. and if by chance when you turn 18 and your still in love than start dating him again. thats what a cuzin did and now shes happily married and having his child. Due in a few months YAY!! :) just give it some thought please.

Answer #15

Considering the details you gave - I think your parents must have a hint you two are dating. I mean if he’s been around you that long and they trust him with stuff, they must have some sort of idea you’re dating each other. They are probley just waiting to hear it from you.

Do they know how old he is?

Answer #16

NO NO NO NO NO!! and did I say NO??? It’s NOT okay by any stretch of the imagination. And why would you want a grown man that is interested in a child? When you grow up, he’s still going to be interested in children. There are issues here that we might not be qualified to help you with. Please find an adult you can trust and confide in them. This is not good!

Answer #17

uuhhh hmmm… I would have both of you to to tell them and explain but lets not go too forwardf with this type of stuff

Answer #18

UHM STOP SAYING IT IS WRONG… If they love eachother, age has nothing to do with it!!! For gods sakes people maybe she is very mature for her age, Girls mature 80 percent faster than boys. a girl at the age of 16 can be more mature than a boy at the age of 25.

Answer #19

I’m with alexandraboo 100% there

Answer #20

Girl, get some self respect. You have no business sleeping in a bed with this guy, even with no sex. You should never hop in bed with anyone, no matter what, especially a 25 year old man. He is counting on you not to tell your parents. He must have a problem getting dates if he has to go to bed with a child - yes you are a child- and your parents are responsible for your well being. Believe me, if they knew what was going on, they would not trust this guy. The crap about do not tell your parents…it is just that crap. It is fine if you were of legal age and he was the same amount of years older, but you are a child, and have not had enough life experience to really make an informed decision, that is why parents set limits. By lying (same as omitting facts) you are not only being deceitful to your parents, but to yourself…if you really thought it was ok,, you would have told them. I think that there must be soething wrong there, if he really loved you, he would wait until you were legal age to see you, not sneak around behind your parents’ back like a thief. That just shows poor character, poor decision making, lack of respect, should I go on!? Tell your parents, and f he really loves you he will wait until you are legal. Ifr he doesn’t he will move on. What you are called honey, is JAIL BAIT!

Answer #21

I dont see any problem in it what so ever, age means nothing it’s just how long you’ve been alice for and why should that come in the way of true love? Because you are young and people seem to think when we’re this age, we dontk now anything at all, it might be an idea to break it off for a little while but only because it will prove to people that a) you’re mature enough and b) he’s genuine, but I know first hand how hard that can be so I understand why you might not want to. I hope it all works out well for you both and you end up happy, please funmail me anything else and tell me what happens! Thank you xox

Answer #22

His dating someone as young as you is the equivalent of you dating a ten year old. Can you imagine yourself making out and sleeping with a ten year old and calling him your boyfriend?

Whatever he tells you, he’s not your boyfriend, and what you have isn’t a relationship. It’s abuse.

Answer #23


Answer #24

You’ve been with him for two years. If you had just started dating him, honestly I’d have said it wasnt wise and what type of adult dates children. Personally I still think the situation isnt perfect, but you’ve been together two years and you havent had sex, so maybe it isnt all that bad. Do not tell your parents. You’re right, if it was my kid, I’d shoot the guy. And no they dont secretly know, and no they wouldnt be happy about it. Wait till you’re 18 and then tell them. They might not be happy with it then, but you’re an adult and they’d probably be a little bit more accepting…

Answer #25

I don’t think this is right for a 16 yr old girl have 25 yr old man to me not right and that is illegal girl even if you love him you need to be careful who your going with.

Answer #26

First of all, I’m sure that your parents want you to be happy…are you happy with him? if you are happy…then they have noticed that you are happy even if they don’t know why…but when they know that you are happy because of this good guy…I think that they shall love him and trust him more…and belive me it doesn’t matter how old are you or he is…if you love him and he loves you…then every thing can be good. I would tell them if I were you…I just need the right time to do that…and start with the nearest parent to you. Please let me know what happens afterwords



Answer #27

to all the people saying that it is statutory rape, its not! she clearly said that they have never had sex, therefore it has nothing to do with sex. sure, it’s a very large age gap, but still if they are in love then age shouldn’t matter. I think that maybe you should take a break, and wait until you’re 18. if he is still there waiting for you, then you two are meant to be.

Answer #28


  You know the saying you cnt help who you fall in love with  , well I think this goes perfect with your question.

it does seem wrong but when your 45 and his 55 people wont care I thinks its just cause your 16 that people go into shock - but be careful and make sure he does actually resepect you.And as for your parents it may be hard to telll them but if they find out how happy you are then I don’t think they will mind , but make sure you are honestly happy. Good luck x

Answer #29

Most 25 year old men would not date someone for 2 years without having sex. So either you are lying and you ARE having sex, or he’s seeing someone else behind your back. Either way a recipe for disaster. Run the other way.

Answer #30

You are with a child molester. Trust me…and that is what the law would state as well. If he could go to jail for this, it is WRONG!!! A number DOES mean something. Is it worth the risk of him going to jail? If it is then you don’t care about him enough to let him go.

Answer #31

I’ve been through the same situiation.when I beraly turned 15 I was talkn 2 this guy he was 26.I didnt tell my parents nothing b because I know that they will get mad.they eventually found out.ofcourse they got mad and 2ld me and him that we couldnt talk and e parents dont know this but I still talk 2 him.if I were you I wouldnt tell ure parents.I know thats sumthing I shouldnt be telln you but you gotz 2 think of what could happin if you were 2 tell ure parentz.I dont know how they will react 2 it.only you do.think about it very well.if the guy really likes or loves you he will wait till ure 18.if you have ?s hitt me up

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