What can I do if my baby's father won't help in our child's care?

I rasied my son without his dad. My now ex-husband, took a job that kept him away up to 6days out of the week when he was home he layed on the couch and watched Sunday sports not saying much to me and NEVER enteracted with his son. I never said a word to him other than “ if you don’t want to be a part of your child as he grows then don’t you EVER try disciplining him”. And that is how it was. I took on a part time job as a afterschool tutor/caregiver once my son was in Kindergaden and my son was allowed to be with me afterschool. I never left my son with no one (including the grandparents) or allow anyone to babysit my son. I was and still am a VERY protective mommy, even now that my son is 18. I’m a very proud mom that will brag over my boy and I’m proud of myself that I rasied him without anyones help. My baby has been a A,B honor student since 3rd grade, after not being able to speak due to being tongue tied and he couldn’t hear other than mumured words. I refused to put tubes it my sons ears or have his tongue clipped and I worked with him for 2years therepy to stretch the skin under his tough so his could talk and kept my faith, that Jesus would touch my sons ears when it was time. The day my son started hearing clear he was 2years old. I’m a firm beliver that a woman is to care for the home,children,and to make sure that there is a cooked meal at night for her husband when he gets in from work. It is not his job or duty to make sure the kids take a bath, change diapers, help with homework, ect. that is our duty as a mommy and a REAL woman,.. even if you are working outside the home. So my advice is, tell him like I told my husband and if he don’t like it that is your que to tuffen up and be everything your son needs. My son loves the hell out of me and is VERY protective of me. Teachers had meetings we me throughout his school years to let me know I have rasied a GREAT kid/young man and should be VERY proud of him and that they only wish there were more parents like me. Good luck sweetie hope this helps you.

I understand exactly how you feel. My husband works from 9pm till around noon, when he comes home he eats and goes back to sleep. I am also a stay at home mom with 3 kids and I feel like a single mother at times. It’s hard to take care of your child and the house all day by yourself. When your significant other gets home sometimes you just want a little break but they’re too tired from work so all the responsibility still falls on you. You have every right to feel this way…I have been feeling like this for 7 years. Talking to my husband has not helped…nothing seems to help. Try to rely on other people (your parents, his parents, friends) to give you a break once in a while. And as hard as it is try to support him…in return maybe he’ll try to help out more. You can also try talking to him, maybe ask him if at least one day a week he can give you an hour to yourself…it really will help. My husband thankfully has off on weekends so we try to get some special family time in then.

Don’t be so hard on yourself…being a mother is not easy and wanting a little bit of help is ok.

Thats the problem, isn’t it… finding the balance. weather it be both parents working part time, one full and one at home, taking into account daycare etc. with you not being able to work, he’ll be feeling huge pressure to provide a secure income for the family, and it sounds like it’s taking it’s toll on both of you. You’re not wrong at all for feeling that way, after all it’s his child to. I wouldn’t have a clue how to bring it up, as I don’t know him. perhaps carefully? It’s not fair that ether you or him do all of the messy work, but keep in mind that hes waking up at 4 in the morning and getting home at 7. when I work a day like that I certainly don’t feel like changing nappy’s.(im NOT saying that its OK for you do be doing it all!)

I suggest having a frank conversation with him and tell him how you feel. I don’t know him or you, so I don’t know if that will be possible. And just remember, it wont be forever.

good luck. x.

TALK TO HIM. I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH MY HUSBAND AND IT TOOK AVERY FRANK CONVERSATION FOR US TO COMPROMISE. HE WILL CHANGE ADIRTY DIAPER OR GIVE MY SON A BOTTLE WHILE I TAKE A RELAXING BATH OR JUST GO OUT FOR A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

Ok well leaving him a note saying “Help with YOUR child” would not work in this situation and be completely rude. He doesn’t deserve that. Like I said, he’s a great father, he just works a lot and is tired when he get’s home. I guess this is normal. It’s hard to find that balance.

No that how everyone mom feels the first time they have a kid trust me my mom told me all about it just let it go for a little while then mention him and maybe say if he could get different hours or something I don’t know ok hope it helps…

My wife and I were in a similar situation. Fortunatly I realized what I was doing. We would get into fights and I would unfortunatly play the hard working husband card. It wasnt until one day I was stuck inside the warehouse at my job with nothing to do that I called my wife and appologized for what I did. Sorry I cant help, I just felt I needed to say that. Your husband sounds like a great guy, just needs to understand his role a bit better. For me it wasnt untill my wife got sick that I understood just how hard it was to take care of a child and spouse.

No, your not wrong for feeling that way at all. I recommend just asking him to talk, and just explain how you feel, or if you feel he won’t listen, try writing him a note.. Let it all out, with a note he can’t interrupt you or not let you finish..I did that with my exboyfriemd, he never helped with his baby from a previous realationship, and he was a heavy drinker, he would come home from work and then get a couple beers and watch tv! One day I left a note taped to his daily liquor and when he went to get it that day he found my letter, it said, “Shouldnt you help with YOUR baby?” ya know? It worked great, so try that!