My girlfriend won't give me head

Alright, I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I often give her orgasms by licking her out, one out of two times that we’re together and in the right situation. I have been with several girls before her, but I am her first boyfriend, and she has never had an orgasm with anyone else. We have talked about head before, she says that she actually likes the idea of it. She has promised me head on several occasions, and in a year or so, has only given me head four or five times, and only twice long enough for me to orgasm. Through talking about head, she has said that it can be painful for her to find the right position, so we worked on that, and she can now get comfortable, she also says her jaw can ache after a few minutes, so I don’t often ask her to go much further down on my penis than just the bellend. She says that she needs help in initiating, so I calmly suggest it from time to time, and I’m always met with a shrug, or an ‘I don’t know’. I’m torn here, whether to push the matter further (which will result on her giving me head, but I feel terribly guilty - like I’ve ‘forced’ her) or to drop it (nothing will happen for me this way, and this won’t help her confidence). She says to me she isn’t hugely confident in the giving part of our sexual relationship. Because of our age, we have have not had sex, largely due to her very protective and controlling mother. Her mother could also be a possible source of mental reluctance, she’s a single parent and does not have respect or regard for men.

On the subject of the head she has given me, she does not lack the skill to do so, and both orgasms I’ve had have been very pleasurable. She does not complain to me about the taste, or that I’m excessively large, at just over seven inches. Although she doesn’t feel confident in initiating head, my suggesting it is also greeted with slight reluctance.

If me and her were having sex, I would not be finding difficulty in the situation, but as we’ve been together so long, I’m becoming increasingly frustrated with not getting sexual pleasure from our relationship.

Please give me any observations from this, and help me work out what I can do or say that will make her: a) More confident (will it come with time and experience of giving me head?) b) Inclined to initiate or accept initiation. c) Give me head on a more regular basis. Above all, I want her to gain this confidence so that she can enjoy giving me head, as I enjoy licking her out, I find it fun, and enjoy that I’m giving her sexual pleasure.

Thank you all.

Answer #1

From the poster: smoky, I’m not pressuring her, I’m very careful about putting too much pressure on her. This is why I’ve talked to her consistently about how she’s feeling about it. We’re both on the understanding that she is happy to do it, and wants to, she just lacks confidence, or maybe she’s not being honest with me. Thanks.

Answer #2

if she doesn’t want to suck your d!ck leave her alone, stop pressuring her,,,

Answer #3

From the poster: ec21, Do you mean to move on from the relationship? Or to move onto other means of pleasure? I will continue to gradually work on it, thanks for supporting that idea. Moving on from the relationship may be an idea, but I’m incredibly in love with her, and what we have in our relationship is immense because we’re not oriented around sexual feelings (otherwise I’d be long gone), so I feel that moving on from this relationship isn’t something I’d like to do, even under that circumstances. Thanks.

Answer #4


Answer #5

thats weird kick her to the curbb

Answer #6

You’re a bit on the young side for my advice. I really enjoy getting head. I have told a girl before that I am willing to go down on her, I feel she should be willing to do the same. Believe me I have walked away from more than one relationship because of it. That lets you know where I am coming from.

It does seem like her mother is controlling her a lot. That happens at the age you are. Give it some time, make sure to talk to her about everything. She is probably quite conflicted right now, but she will grow into her own person and be less controlled by her mother. Make sure she is enjoying herself and show her that you care. Eventually she will be willing to do things to please you, even in bed. If you were say 30 I’d tell you to leave her, but as I said before your young, she is young, learn to enjoy it.

Answer #7

I can totally tell if your girl want to or not my girls mom is divorced and me and my girl talk about sex all the time we don’t plan on it but her mom read her txt messaging and now her mom won’t leave her alone with me because she thinks ill get her pregnant and leave her like her husband did to her please help me on this I need all of your help please help :( thanks

Answer #8

most girls don’t like giving head. stop being greedy

Answer #9

I think you need to tell her that your getting frustrated because it’s totally natural to have sexual need and I think you need to gradually work on it and make her as comfortable as possible and tell her she is good at it and there’s no pressure but you would like her to do it more often but if she still isn’t giving you head you should move on because a year is a long time.

Answer #10

From the poster: dream, Both times it has been long enough, she has been really happy to have been successful, and I’ve been careful to make her feel really appreciated for it. But not be overkill with praise, 69 is what we did the second time, and she loved me toying with her clit while she was at it, but it’s hard to do 69 when you have to be ready to hide it all most of the time. Thanks dreamobscene.

Answer #11

Well you need to find out whether she either doesn’t like doing it or is really shy about seen as your the first guy she’s been with in that way, for a)confidence- Id say well just tell her how you like it when she does stuff and would like her to do it more but don’t pressure her. b)May just take time and will probably come when she becomes more confident, c) sit down and talk to her about it again without pressuring her and ask her honestly without making her feel uncomfortable what she does or doesn’t like about sex etc.

Answer #12

Some girls reallly don’t like oral well giving oral. Its different and its horrible but its true if women give head they are called boppers di suckin ho ect you never hear a guy being called a puss* eater. I don’t know its different I personaly don’t. I use to on rare occasion and. NEVER liked it. It hurt was unconfortable and his hand on my head to go down didn’t help. I felt lk I was demeaning myself… I stopped made a personal choice and I don’t know she may just not lk it and not have the heart to tell u. I’ve been woth my dude 3 years and he didn’t know.. until a yeat ago. We love each other 2 find other ways to satisty each other. Good luck .

Answer #13

the truth is some girl just dont like giving head. I know its not my favorite thing in the world. maybe its not that she not confident, maybe she doesnt like it and just doesnt want to admit it. depending on your age, a year is a decent amount of time. mayb you should sit down and instead of asking her to give you head, ask her what she would think about sex. if you think you two are to young for sex then explain that you would like her to give you head but you dont want to push the issue and make her feel guilty. tell her that you love her and if it truly is the fact that shes not confident in giving head then assure her that youll help her and tell her whats good or not.

Answer #14

Dude, hold on just a minute. The lady has repeatedly given you a very specific communication that you keep choosing to ignore completely. I know you think oral sex is heavenly, that was never in doubt, but the truth is that she can produce more pleasure for you with her hands than with any other part of her body, and she has two of them. With a handful of Vaseline, she’s not going to do it wrong. Stop trying to push the river and go with it. I mean which would you rather have, oral sex from a girl who’s only goal is to get it over as soon as possible, or a hand job from a girl who is trying to see how well she can make you come?

Answer #15

have you spoken about it to her , serouisly I dont blam her I mean some people domt like doing that and I think you just give her more time I mean you dont have to be a sex freak in a relitionship just be in it for the love serouis why worry about the phyiscal stuff come on giver her time! its only been like a year

Answer #16

From the poster: Tina, Thanks for that reply, I think I’ve found what I was looking for, some support that this is not out of the ordinary. And that I need to continue to talk to her, when it’s appropriate. Seems that compliments are a good way to go. Thanks again.

Answer #17

dont pressure her/ tell her you love her and likeher givin you head

Answer #18

dreamobscene is right. I think that been very fair to her. I mean you ask how she feels and if she likes it. thats not really pressuring anyone. maybe shes just scared. I mean no offense but your d!ck is kinda big. I mean maybe she just has a hard time with it. but she will get more confident over time just be paitent. it will happen. or maybe shes self consciece. maybe if you commpliment her on her blowjob/handjob she will feel more confiedent if your sweet about her giving you head. xoxoTina

Answer #19

I say dont pressure her. Just wait and compliment her on her blowjob. urs is pretty big so maybe shes just a little scared.

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