Who do I choose if I truly love both?

I have a really great boyfriend, Stanley. I have been dating him for a year a eight months now. We have made plenty of plans together and I really really like him. I’m really happy when I am around him, but we argue a lot and he has trust issues. I also catch him checking out other girls when I am around. Then there is the other guy..(You guys probably knew that was coming! LOL) His name is Johnny and he is an ex-boyfriend of mine. I dated Johnny for a year and a half. I really liked Johnny when I was dating him, but I took our relationship for granted and I ended up dating another guy over the summer while dating him. Lets just say, Johnny found out and I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. I didn’t realize he was so good for me until I lost him. That is usually how it works! LOL) It has been over three years now that I had dated Johnny but I still think of him and me more than usual. I feel really bad because I’m dating Stanley, but I can’t help it! Anyway, here is my dilemma with Johnny.. Since I made that stupid mistake a long time ago, I don’t think he will date me again, but he still seems like he is really into me. Even though he tells me that he will never date me again. I don’t know if he just says that because I’m dating Stanley or if he really means it! i have no idea what to do. My best friend and I have sit down and wrote all the pros and cons about both of then and even thought about what all we had in common, but nothing seems to work. I’ve also tried really hard to follow my heart, but my heart keep leading me to both of them! I really need help! Please..Please..if you would, help me! My feelings are truly sincere for both of them. I just have no were to run! : (