My daughter hates me!

I’m married to my 21 yr old boyfriend who has a 4 yr old daughter, Sabina. I’ve known Sabina all her life. I named her, she knows me as mom. Lately shes been really snotty! “Mom! I hate you! Daddy does too. Thats why he called you the bad b word!” “Mom! I’m hungry! Youre my mommy! Youre supposed to take care of me! Feed me!” “Mom! I stuck the bath plug up my ass. Take it out… with your teeth!” Ok, the last one I made up but shes driving me nuts!!! She always complains I like my son, Isaiah, better then her. That shes not loved, that I hate her and blah blah blah. Truth is When my boyfriend told me his ex girlfriend was pregnant I was pissed! But now I’d do anything in a heartbeat whether it means I cut my nails off or I cut my leg off. I tell her I love her everyday and I get her presents when I come home from school. I’m 18! I plan on going to school to be a child psychologist some time soon. I dont have time to walk around the whole world to prove to her that I love her more then anything in the world!!! So, any fast, not much energy consuming ideas to make her trust me when I say no one could ever take her place?

Answer #1

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Answer #2

On a Saturday spend the day just doing something fun with her. Like taking her to the zoo or to the park. If she’s only 4 chances are she’d have a lot of fun at the zoo. Or if you don’t have a lot of money pack a picnic and spend some time at the park. She probably just feels left out because her brother gets some attention, it’s not all on her anymore. Good luck!

Answer #3

honey! o my!She does not hate you and you know that! she just wants attention! please!give her conscenquences. and make her pay for what she says. pleasee!! think of yourself!

                  hope i helped funmail me for more advice!
Answer #4

this is how a black person would do it if thats like your daughter too wope her as* and tell her not to talk to you like that no more!xcan’t let a 4 year old do that to u. but first take her places and sopil her!that way u would have a reason.and talk to your husband about it if he yell at you leave him girl!

Answer #5

Ignore her then. If this goes on for a few days, she’ll stop talking to you/becomes quiet, or I’d hope. Then you can tell her to say sorry so that you guyz can just be on equal terms and such. Well I hope that works..

Answer #6

awww she deffinately doesn’t hate you! she’s only looking for attention and she’s only 4. most likely she will grow out of it. But as most people are suggesting, take her out and do the things she likes. Girls her age always like to go things that surrounds them so just take her out and have FUN FUN FUN. loosen up a little bit on her, she is only 4, Be her best friend.

and do not ‘wope her as*’ as sexybabyangel sugessted lol

good luck hun =]

Answer #7

Wow, that’s an interestingly strange situation. So, you were dating this guy when you were 14, right? I’m just gonna shut up now.

Answer #8

shes just attention hungry. trust me!

Answer #9

Aww, she doesnt hate you! not at all! Its just that little green monster called jealousy! And thans always normal, but just take some extra time to spend with her, talk to her more often etc. She may feel like you’re not paying enough attention =] Good Luck <2

Answer #10

I need to add that I sympathize with your situation. You’re not her real mother, and she knows this and is exploiting it. You need “a free hand” from your husband in disciplining his daughter. She will fight against you by saying you’re more harsh with her than with your own children, which will encourage her rebellion, and force you to punish her further. I’ve seen that lead into a never ending cycle which is NOT good. It’s one of the many pitfalls of divorce and broken families - there’s never a good solution.

You need your husband’s approval to parent as you see fit, and you need to communicate with your husband to help you identify the point at which further discipline will not be beneficial to the child. If and when that happens, you will have a new problem that you can deal with when it comes.

Answer #11

You are 18 and have raised this little girl since birth - four years ago? You’ve had a tough row to hoe. And you’re married with a son of your own on top of this? All by the age of eighteen? That’s a really heavy burden.

I already can tell that the father of these kids is pretty much no help at all, right? In a perfect world, you would take him aside and tell him that you need reinforcement from him. A simple, yet strong statement from him directed at her saying that he’s not happy with this behavior would be the best thing. But then, she’s already following his lead in calling you the names that she heard when your back was turned.

Talk to him. If he is truly committed to this relationship, he’ll help you out. If he fights you on this, take your son and leave. The girl needs a lot more help than an eighteen year old can give her.

Just a guess on my end, but I don’t think that you are married. If you were, the guy would be your husband, not your boyfriend. You can still get out of this hellhole relationship without a lot of legal entanglement.

Answer #12

You have to be firm and fair. If the child has legitimate complaints, address them. If the child does not have legitimate complaints, punish her for misbehaving. Children misbehave (they’re children), and they need to be punished or they’ll grow up like Paris Hilton. I don’t know what country you’re from, but some countries have strict laws against punishing children, so if you’re from the USA, UK, or a similar country, you’ll have to resort to relatively ineffective, and potentially damaging psychology tricks to manipulate the child’s mind. Personally, I think a good spanking is preferable, and has a proven track record of being clear, effective, and profitable for the child’s future.

It’s normal for children to be jealous and hateful. In many ways, children epitomize everything that’s wrong in bad adults. That’s why we say misbehaving adults are “acting like children”. The difference between good adults and bad ones is parenting.

Good luck.

Answer #13

hehe bless ur daugter is just using the words she has proberly heard from you of someone she see’s regually, i feel sorry for you as these words are pretty harse but watch nanny 911 or something .. stick her in the naughty steep n tell her no and if she keeps doing this tell her she will go live in jail and be hit and shouted at all the time, dont hit her becuase that will get her a proper reason to hate you. unless you want ur daughter to be a little stuck up bitch!?!?!?! stand up for ur self and tell her NO.. :D im great at advice !!!! .. im 15 so dnt mock me. yeh

Answer #14

your daughter does not hate you don’t worry about that you will be ok just try to spend some time with her i have a dad and he does not live with me he lives far away i never get to see him or nothing and it feels like i don’t got a dad and i feel sad because i want a dad in my life and i feel upset but the only thing is that i hear from him and that is it but i never reall y see him only when i was 5 years old and i am 19 now

Answer #15

I think she feels lke Isiah gets SO much more attention. Maybe get her to be friends with Isiah and talk to your boyfriend about it. I’ve been with my current 3 years and hes wonderful. His little sister Joanie is like, my best friend… but she used to say that I hate her and I loved my sister and brother (who at the time werent quite born yet). BUt now they are best friends. my current and his little sister are like my boyfriend and little sister

Answer #16

she is only 4! she doesnt know what she is saying. i would punish her and say please dont say that to mommy. dont let her step all over you! she needs to be disciplined! she is doing this so that you feel guilty and go out to buy her presents after school and what ever else. its not right. shes 4 your 18! show her whos boss!

Answer #17

Dont give her what she wants, u are only making her think that she is gonna get more and more of what she wants if u keep on giving in to her. dont be afraid of her, just let her say what she wants cos she has no clue about what she’s saying. one day soon she’ll realise that she was just being a little b*h

Answer #18

SHe is insecure because she has reached the age where she questions anything. You have got to be there constantly, unconditionally, through good AND bad. You’ve got to show her that no matter hwat you love her. Trust me, I’ve been the child in this situation and I know EXACTLY how it feels. good luck and stick to it.

Answer #19

Maybe there is something emotionally wrong, like some one is bullying her, or she has been under stress. or just spend a afternoon with her, like take her to the mall, and lunch and a movie. or go to a amusement park or go on vacation with her if you can.

Answer #20

Bigboy has the best advice, spend time with her 1on1 time, make her feel like shes special in your life, and when she acts snotty, discipline her. in the long run this will work.

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