Why is ignoring your hateful 13 year old not your best choice?

My 13 year old daughter claims she feels no love for her family so we started seeing a family counselor to find out why. Turns out that for years she has felt verbally and sometimes even physically abused by her father when they horseplay around. I know her dad gets mad when she ‘hits below the belt” but I had no idea she felt so helpless and angry. It’s hard to love people you don’t trust and since I didn’t step in and stop this activity she feels I let her down. Any time her Dad “pulled rank” on her and tried to switch roles from playmate to father figure I always set him straight that he couldn’t just do that. That’s the only time I felt she needed my intervention, but apparently I was wrong. So my advice is for Moms to wake up and really pay attention to what’s going on. It’s your most important job to protect your daughters (and sons). Kids who feel no love for their parents may have a good reason. They are also full of raging hormones so it can be challenging to separate the truth from the drama. Is she making a deal out of nothing or should her father get some anger management help?

Answer #1

wow thats scary im 13 and that sounds like you should of payed more attition to her tell her about this and how you feel and just for notice GOD LOVES U!!!

Answer #2

Well, I’m 13 and I hate it when my dad gets mad at me. First, HOW DOES her dad react when she does that? Does he like hit her, and beat her, or does he just get a stern and frustrated. If he is physically beating and hurting and swearing at her, then yes, the father does need anger management. If he just tells her off and gets all stern and things like that, then it might be a little drama. Also, try and bond with her, be her safe place. Teenagers (especially girls) like it when they someone who understands them and just listens to their problems and tries to help fix them. And, if she ‘hits below the belt’, tell her that it’s not okay and that is probably why her dad is doing what he is doing know. Hope that helped. -R

Answer #3

im the same way with my mom;; I went through abuse with my dad…but he left when I was eleven;; now im with my mom and all of a sudden lately she’s been trippn hella hard;; but if your daughter says that…listen to her but she’s young every teen goes through the a time when they either dont think their parent loves them or they dont love their parents…and teens will say whatever they know will hurt their parents their most at times to call out to them…a counselor may not help…just give her space..and one your husband is a man…he maybe shouldnt be handling her for a little while..u should instead…give her cooling off time

Answer #4

it will show him that u do not care about him sit him down and talk. And he will be hateful from time to time tho like every teen and tween :)

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