How to gain confidence after putting on some weight?

Hi Jenny. I can honestly tell you that everyone really is beautiful in their own way no matter how noticeable their imperfections are. You need to not be so harsh on yourself due to the fact that you are a Mother to 2 beautiful kids (I’m sure). People always say that if your spouse loves you, they will love you no matter how much weight you’ve gained right? Unfortunately, that’s only the *ideal world.

Sadly, our society today says you must be thin to be beautiful. I say this to you from my very own experience. Though your husband may love you very much, it’s hard to not look when he sees a thinner woman. It’s easy to say you’re still just as beautiful as the day he married you but it’s hard to really mean it. He may even be mad at himself for feeling less attracted to you because he realize that your body went through a lot to have your kids. Instead of being sad at him or dissapointed in yourself, talk about it. Instead of fighting against him and saying it’s not your fault, work with him. Tell him how you feel. How you would like to be sexy to him again and will do that for him but… with his help, patience, and understanding.

I can honestly tell you that I love my husband more than anything in this world but when he started gaining a lot of weight, it was a turn off because it seemed as if he no longer cared about himself and ultimately, didn’t care to look good for me anymore. I’m not saying that it made me love him less. It made feel like he didn’t care about me enough to try to look good anymore. It made me feel unimportant and that turned me away from him. I hope you understand.

Take care and hope I was able to help.

ok I know everyone is diferent but im not a skinny mini and dmy man luvs every bit of me. I think its because I have the opinion that he saw me through out pregnancy so my new figure couldnt be as bad s that. lol. love yourself first and he will want a piece of the pie. xx

Don’t beat yourself up about it, but do be proactive. No you don’t have to be a size “O” but it’s good to strive for being fit. Make time to exercise daily…even if you don’t lose a lot of weight,it will still be good for the body and it will make you feel better about yourself. Also, why not try initiating lovemaking with your husband? Men like to be seduced as well as to seduce.

I’m not saying that it’s right for him to love you less or start looking for a thinner woman. I’m saying that he SHOULD love you no matter what but only he holds the true answers. It doesn’t matter what anyone advise you in here. His opinion matters to you right? Open-up to him. Don’t be stubburn and say that he should just accept you the way you are now. Be open-minded to his feelings and needs as well. That’s the key. Make sure he understands that you need his help as well. Ex. If you’re craving a Big Mac but having a salad, he shouldn’t eat a Big Mac infront of you. Exercise with you.

Again, take care.

The best way to gain confidence is to be proactive about how you feel about yourself. If you don’t feel your pretty or sexy, who else will? I would suggest exercising every day. Even if the number on the scale don’t move, you’ll become more fit and shapely. Also, have you considered approaching him first in the lovemaking department? Men don’t always have to be the iniators, you know.