Kids With Issues with Parents who are really messed up!

I have bad issues with my mother ok it doesnt invole abuise its just the problem thatnone of my sister or me have ever been able to get along with my mom im the youngest both my sisters are 13 and 16 years apart from me my momm just really doesnt remember what its really like to be 13 now SHES 52! and I just dont want to live with her I thought about suicide a lot lately and I just dont know what else there is ? Its so hard liveing with her my parents separated when I was 4 and her boyfriend for 8yrs on and off has a bad temper im not scared of him and hes never hurt me but I just rather live with one of my sisters and my nesis but when ever I try to say that I wanna live with one of them my mom just goes off and say no no no I will never let you live down there again with her ! and I dont know why though? My sister helped me with my grades a lot more than my mom she makes it so I understand my mom just get frustrated when I still say im not getting it . I had friends when I was with my sis I still have friends here I just dont like live with my mom and her boyfriend for the fack that ever since I’ve come back from living with her it seem like its my fault that they fight and yell at each other or get it to some stupid f’ing argument ! and I cant haddle it anymore! and I just need some advice on what to do! because I dont know and I dont want to live with my mom and I love my sister more than I will eer love my mom and I know that and I want my mom to burn burn brun in f’ing hell for making my life misurable ! and keeping me if a different province and getting mad when I want to live with somone who wont yell at me when her boyfriend or somone else does somthing wrong! please help ! advice anything I need help!