What do I do when I love a married man?


Answer #1

No, she wasn’t married and I’ve seen her once since January. I pray every night that she’ll come back. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. When we were together it was perfect, everything just felt right. I was at home with her. All I want is to go home once again to her. Some nights I just sit up and stare at the door, thinking maybe she will come back one day. She said she needed a break, that she was sick of the situation. She wanted me to get my separation agreement and until then she didn’t want to talk about us. She didn’t want to talk about us until I could make her a part of my life…well I did one better. I’m getting divorced as fast as possible b/c I want to be with her as soon as possible. I moved out 4/2 and now I have my own place. Why does love have to hurt so bad? I hope I don’t suffer for marrying the wrong girl forever. I just hope she’s not scared. I’m leaving her alone and not trying to bug her and give her the time to think about things. I love her that’s all I can really do. The only real positive is that I’m working my tail off to get my things together so that if she does come back I’ll be all ready to spend my life with her. She’s perfect.

Answer #2

Thanks for your end of the story. I guess every side gets burnt … women and men. Guess we learned our lesson the hard way ! The guy I had an affair with won’t talk to me either. I see him everyday at work and he won’t even look at me. If the things he told me where true, I know deep down he has to be hurting and if not … then he played me big time and I am the one that feel for it. I love him too and he won’t give me the time of day. Not sure if he is nervous to talk to me because of what we both went through, our spouses finding out. Who knows …. but in my situation, I was leaving to be with him and he was the one that bailed out on me. I guess if it is meant to be … he will come back one day and maybe she will come back to you one day. All I know, is the pain that I’m going through at home on my end … I’m sure his wife is giving him the same thing. PS: was your girlfriend married too?

Answer #3

Let him go and realize that there is better opinoins out there for you… and contact his wife and tell her he has been cheating because all he is going to do is continue to hurt you and here

Answer #4

I know exactly how you are feeling. I’m going through the same thing. I see him everyday at work and he won’t even look at me … don’t know why and what I did wrong. I can’t believe that he can just let go just like that after all the stuff he told me and the same thing, when we were together, everything clicked .. we got along so good, like you said it was “perfect”. We would talk for hours and hours on the phone every single day for months. I would get up in the morning and there would be 8 phonemail messages on my phone of him telling me how much he loved and missed me and how he couldn’t wait for us to be together. Like you said, I stepped up to the plate and I got burnt ! I hope he is hurting the same way I’m hurting. I’m currently at home tyring to make my marriage work, but it seems impossible .. all I keep thinkng about is him all the time (24hrs. a day). I can’t get him out of my mind. At this point, the way he blew me off … I would love to forget about him .. but I can’t. It just felt so right when we were together .. something I have never felt before. I can’t see him wasting so much time on me if he really didn’t care? That is why I’m so confused at this point. I keep looking back at what he said and did and the things he brought for me .. why? Why would he waste all his time on me if he didn’t care??????? If it was just for one thing, I think he would of bailed a long time ago? This is why I’m so confused. I guess if it was really meant to be .. he will come back some day and so will she to you? I’m thinking on both sides they got scared … not sure. I would love to talk to him to find out what he is thinking, but I know it is the wrong thing to do. He does still drive by at the same time I come into work everyday … guess to see if I’m here or not. All I hope is that he is hurting as much as I am. I really wish I could just forget about him …….. but I don’t know how …..

Answer #5

I know the phone thing too. Used to talk to her 50 times a day from work. I wanted to never stop talking to her. It’s pathetic, I know but it only happens once in a lifetime. You find that one person where everything is just right. Every chance we had to be together all I wanted to do was have her fall asleep in my arms. That’s all I asked for. I’m thinking the same thing. We worked to together in Maryland for around 3 years. After I made the mistake of marrying the wrong girl, I moved to NYC from Maryland and she still stuck around. Every chance I could get to see her I would. I still spoke to her 50 times a day. Going to MD, or her coming up to NYC. She eventually moved to Jersey City to be with me. She took a lot of time and effort to be with me. Now I live about 10 blocks away from her, and I work about 3 blocks from her, but I’ve been good, not cramping her space. It’s the most difficult thing I have ever done, but I have to do it. You can’t force things on someone and you can’t make someone else love you back. All you can do is take care of yourself. Leave them alone. Hopefully, they will see that we are much better people after all this and they will become attracted to us again. It’s almost how you try and reinvent how it started in the first place. You try and get that edge back to yourself. They both know that they can come back anytime they want to. See that’s the problem. Somehow along the way, they lost the attractiveness to us. It’s like “you desire more what you can’t have”. We need to reinvent ourselves, make ourselves attractive again. Don’t let them see us suffer; just let them see us working for ourselves. Taking care of ourselves. Doing the things that make us happy. Not worrying about them. It’s not forced, but one day they will see what they had. I promise you that. Especially, if it was as perfect for you as it was for me. I’ve sent 1 email to her in 41 days, just saying that I was thinking about her and that all I ever wanted was for her to be happy…someday it will happen. Trust me.

Answer #6

and my separation agreement was finalized about 20 minutes ago…all i’m doing now is waiting for the divorce to be finalized. now what?

Answer #7

Do you mean married man? Married men NEVER leave their wives for a mistress! Hes telling you everything you want to hear so you will keep sleeping with him. You’ll be hearing hes gonna leave his wife for as long as your with him, because he has NO intentions on ever leaving her.

Answer #8

I don’t believe that. I left my wife of 5 years for my girlfriend. I fell in love with her. I dated her before I was married and all during my marriage. She said she was sick of the situation in February and needed a break. Told me to get my separation agreement…well I stepped up to the place and got the agreement and moved out April 2nd. I haven’t heard anything from her…Now you know why most men don’t leave. They step up to the plate and the girlfriend blows them off. I love her, but she won’t talk to me at all.

Answer #9

Leave him. I was in the same situation and believe me he won’t leave his wife. That is what they all say. The married man I was with told me he wanted me to leave my husband and he was going to leave his wife and so on and we were going to have this wonderful life together and get married. Well, I got the divorce papers on my end and he bailed ! He is now still married and I’m in a big mess … thus we haven’t spoken in over a month now. They play on your emotions … they will never leave. They just want the best of both worlds …….

Answer #10

I was married for 5 years. 7 month old son. Absolutely, head over heals in love with my girlfriend. Explain this, I left and now my girlfriend is gone. I’ve tried calling, writing, flowers, etc. nothing. I’ve basically given up. I leave my wife for her and now she doesn’t communicate at all. I hope she doesn’t feel like a homewrecker, because it was my decision to leave. Maybe I scared her becuase I really did leave. For all those women who are having “affairs” with married men, I am one of the few examples of a married man who left. I did fall in love with the “other” woman in my life.

Answer #11

I disagree. I was in a similar situation once and he did leave her. Not for me because he was unhappy and did it for himself. However now a days with divorce and all most men don’t want to get divorced because they loose everything. You need to have a very open and honest conversation about it. If you are satisfied at the end wait for him and if yu are not kick him to the curb and move on. Love ait everything hunny. If your relationship is not transparent and open among you two it won’t work out anyways.

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