I want an affair.

:) If you feel as you described; go and search for somebody who can solve your problem. There are several internet chat forums and sites for this.

Well…girls may hate me for this but I dont care. Its ironic that I see this at the exact moment I want to see a married man…not a stupid boy but a man who knows what he wants and how he wants it…mature if you will. You only live life once, so do whatever you want now. Bad or not, its your life isnt it?

I hope you had a prenup so if she finds out you can be spared insted of half of what you own

I know exactly what you are going through. I’m 36 years old and have been married to my husband for the past 14 years. We also have 2 children together. My husband has to take pain killers for a serious accident he was in years ago. Since then, because of the pain killers, he has no sex drive what so ever. I have talked to him about how frustrated I have been getting, but its to no avail. Even when we do have sex, he’s not really interested and he can’t hold an erection for long. He says I am very sexy and attractive, but he says he can actually live without sex. Its especially frustrating when I notice other men looking at me and trying to pick me up and I feel I can’t do anything because I’m married, but I fantasize about how it would be. I recently have been seriously contemplating giving my cell phone number to this guy who works at this deli that I go to. We have flirted with each other and I am extremely attracted to him. I went as far as having a piece of paper with my phone number on it in my pocket when I went into the deli, but I couldn’t go through with it. (I’m actually pretty shy) And recently I guess you can say I had an online affair which was very intense and exciting, but is over with now. (I never met the person) People who say “sex isn’t everything”, are correct, but when you are constantly turned down you start to look elsewhere to fulfill your desires. I love my husband and never want to leave him, but how can I go through my life with not being satisfied? Also, even when he had a sex drive, his sexual preferences are different then mine. He likes to “make love” - nice and slow and gentle (Which is great, but not all the time) I like to have very passionate sex, like “ripping off clothes” sex!!! I’m slowly but surely coming to the realization that I want more and it will probally happen in the future. (Having an affair that is) And what surprises me is that I was always totally against “cheating”. I always thought people who cheated were real scum bags, but now I can understand. It comes from being lonely and wanting more than what you have. But then again you love your partner and don’t want to leave them. That’s why an affair can seem so appealing.
So, I feel do what your heart desires. We only have one life, why go through it totally unhappy. Hopefully she won’t find out if you do have an affair, because that’s when the unbelievable pain and guilt will start. I hope this helps coming from someone who is going through the same thing. Post back and let me know.

Sex comes pretty high up on the list of ‘primal needs’. Although humans can ‘rise above this’ by exercising intellectual control, for the majority of us (men and women), life is unfulfilling without sex. Add to this the stress and cost and drudgery of modern life, and it’s difficult to see why married couples and live-in partners don’t have sex every day. After all, it’s the only FREE pleasureable ‘vice’ that we have available to us, and it’s not even unhealthy. A couple agreeing to marriage or a similar monogomous relationship are basically agreeing to entrust the responsibility for this basic human need to one person alone - their partner. It is therefore a breach of trust if one partner refuses to fulfil or plays ‘power games’ with this need. If you were to agree that your partner was the only person who could feed you, and they let you go hungry, would anyone blame you for breaking the agreement and eating elsewhere, especially if you warned your partner about it in advance? My view is that you shouldn’t put up with this, but I suggest before you do anything, you should try to talk one more time (verbal warning), if not successful write a letter to her (written warning). If at this point she continues to be too selfish to consider your needs and still doesn’t want to attempt to resolve the situation, then how can anyone blame you for getting it elsewhere? And one last point.. most marriage vows include some sort of obligation for sexual needs of your partner.

I do not think you should cheat on her it is not worth it and think of how broken down your family will be. You should try to go to counseling and if she resists, then you should try this. I heard that sex toys can work wonders if you get the right one. If you could find something to stimulate yourself you might find that it would help with some of the sexual frustration. Of course tell her what you plan to do, don’t try to hide it. Also I agree with what someone said earlier about romancing her, that may be what she needs right now. Send her some flowers or something or offer to wash and massage her feet.

I agree, support her individualism and things will be fine for both of you. Go to counseling as a couple and individually. Work on yourself as well as your marriage. The same goes for your wife. I swear by my counselor. It really works wonders just to sit down and vent to someone whose job it is to see things your way. It will really help. … That really didn’t actually answer your question but its the best piece of advice I can give right now. I really do think it would help.

Uh you are such a pig. sex sex sex. I swear sometimes you men discust me. Its nice to know that there are a few good men but you are ovisly not one of them. If you are going to have an affair its cheating. Its called comminting adultry. You are a married man with kids. If you do it you may as well have divorse papers ready becuase if I were her and I found out I would leave. And trust me. Women have ways of finding out. ALWAYS. I know from experance.

your just effed up…what is your problem? stop bein so damn selfish you have kids for gods sake…in only 19 and im a more decent person than you r…people like you are pathetic…think of your partner and what they would feel like if you got caught…or if they did it to u…or what would happen if your kids found out you were going out on your partner…I know this is an old post but I hope to god you read this

Sounds like you might be going through the 7 year itch. Wait it out and see how it goes. I don’t think you will feel the same after the affair. You will wish you didn’t do it, and you will especially wish that when you are paying child support after the divorce. All I’m saying is think about it. And since this is an older question, I am guessing you’ve probably already made your decision. Post back and let us know what happened.

Hey, listen to what your saying. As far as I know when you get married theres something in there like “for better or worse”, you might be going through some rough times right now, but you have to be some kind of dirt bag to throw away seven years, and two kids. Because if you f**k around you lose your marrige and the kids. Not to mention how badly you’ll hurt everyone that you love. Men and women reach their peak sex drive at differant times, and besides a low sex drive could also be partially your fault anyways. Maybe you need to forget about “SEX” for a while. There are many other ways to have to be passionate. Maybe do somthing romatic for her, let her know she means the world to you.

But for God sakes, if you cheat on her, your making it a lot harder for all of the good guys out there.

You should get some balls and tell your wife your plans, first. If she wants to leave you for it, then let her go. You don’t deserve to be married, anyway. If she’s really as selfish as you make her out to be, she doesn’t deserved to be married either. It sounds like you two are too selfish to be in a committed relationship. Marriage is about sharing, giving and taking, compromising and loving beyond everything else. I’m currently pregnant and we haven’t had sex in several months. It’s killing me, but his problem isn’t with me. He is uncomfortable about having sex with “the baby around”. Do you know what we do? We masturbate, separately. It’s fine and it’ll pass after the baby is born. He’s not going to go and screw the next hot chick he sees and I won’t be going to find some dude that likes to do it with pregos. Get over yourself, be a man and ‘fess up. It’s the LEAST you can do. I just don’t understand people that get married and don’t really mean then vows they make. I don’t know about anyone else, but I love my husband more than I love myself. I couldn’t put my desires above his heart.