I'm 15 and really want to have a baby

Last night on Tv I watched the teen mum school on BBC1. Tbh I’m realising a lot more. And about myself and I do think I am ready to be a mother, whenever that may be.

I must reiterate, if you’re having emotional problems, depression, suicidal tendencies, and you don’t know how love yourself… then you’re not ready. There are several things you need to do first.

-yes I actually do I have a saturday job(ok so thats not a lot) but I have been saving for ages and I actually could afford it.

Really? You work one day a week, and you’ve been saving. That’s good. God knows I can’t seem to save anything. But how long will you’re savings last? Here’s an idea, funmail ‘Sikashimmer’ …she has a complete list of all the common expenses involved with child rearing. You can compare your list with hers, just to see if you overlooked anything.

I THOGHT THE SAME THING NOT TO LONG AGO. I REALLY WANTED A KID AND NOONE WOULD STOP ME. I WS ONLY 14 AT THE TIME, BUT I THOUGHT A KID WAS MY LAST HOPE. I WAS PRACTICALLY LIVING WITH MY 17 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME…(not very smart) WELL HE GOT ME PREGNANT AND FOR THE LONGEST TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY WHAT I WANTED. I STARTED going TO THE DOCTORS AND GETTIN SONOGRAMS AND ALL, BUT ONE DAY I JUST FREAKED OUT. I SAW MT MOM CRYIN WHEN I TOLD HER I WS PREGNANT, AND IT OPENED A WHOLE NEW DOOR TO ME. I REALIZED THAT I WS TO YOUNG, just TO STUBBORN TO ADDMIT IT. I WAS 3 MONTHS ALONG WHEN I DECIDED TO HAVE AN ABORTION. I DIDNT WANT TO BUT I FELT I HAD TO. I DIDNT HAVE ANY MONEY, MY MOM WOULDVE DIS-OWNED ME, AND MY BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME WHEN HE GOT SCARED ABOUT 2 MONTHS IN. ITS NOT SMART BABYDOLL. BELIEVE ME. I’ve BEEN THERE. IT WAS ONLY A LIL OVER A YEAR AGO. please TAKE MY ADVICE AND WAIT.

lmaoo… I’m actually so confused right now… I sent my last comment what I thought was BEFORE you sent yours (the long one that is) Thankyouuu… I think I’m getting somewhere… right…

Status - - Are you in relationship? If so, does HE know that you want a baby? Would he agree and go along with it? If you’re single, how are you planning to approach getting pregnant? One nighters? Sperm donors? -that part… is basically what I wanted… I’m single and I am looking for ways.

Last night on Tv I watched the teen mum school on BBC1. Tbh I’m realising a lot more. And about myself and I do think I am ready to be a mother, whenever that may be.

Finances - - Do you have sufficient income to support a child? -yes I actually do I have a saturday job(ok so thats not a lot) but I have been saving for ages and I actually could afford it.

hmm… I can’t remember what else I wanted to say so when I remember I will comment again.

Thanks hope you can reply

x

Dear captainassassin I do consider everyones opinion but everyone has a different opinion. And besides I love babies I look after my nephew and others all the time and it’s ok, they stay here sometimes too. If I was pregnant I would have to think about the baby not just myself so I would always make the right decision when it involves someone else, I would protect them whatever, and that means I would probably move out. Right now… I’m used to it and this is all I have and a baby is truly what I want… do you see my point? In my original question when I said I am about to kill myself I probaly wouldn’t have the guts to do so, I would do nothing more than runaway and I’m not sure if that is for the better. Hope you can reply. Thanks your comments have made me consider a lot more but I still want the same thing:) xoxo

first off adviceman is a moron, I bet your like 12 or just want attention.

Now to the point, I had a girlfriend like this when I was 14 I think, so its a close age to you. She really thought her parents hated her (they where just trying to be parents!) and TRIED to make me get her preggo, its been 4 years since then and I STILL think about it often, she was so pissed off at her parents that I had to breakup with her (im a dick I know) but I was always that rebel, the one the girls looked for just to take home and piss off parents.

What happened is she DID get pregnant after I broke up with her, she changed her mind entirely right then, I felt so bad about it but I was also happy I wasn’t the one that gave in, so at age 15 this girl I “dated” was pregnant, and her parents straight up disowned her, she had to get an abortion in the end because she KNEW she couldn’t do it, that resulted in her having to dropout as a freshman and go get her GED, which leads to her now working as a cashier at walmart at the age of 19.

All I have to say is don’t give in to what you think you want or need, think about what could happen first!

-The Sensitive Dude

OOOhhh girl , is not that easy as you might think. having a family takes so many responsibilities which a 15 years old CANNOT really take… Im 15 and not even think about moving away from my family.

Did you think about education ??? ooh I don’t know what to say because looks like you would love to have a baby and I understand this 100% and im sure you going to offer him/her the best in this world but how can you take care of him I mean 15 no job no studies if you live in U.K. the government might help you right but you still need your familly …

you need a career and than a baby just think about it and take the right choice .

Dear captainassassin I do consider everyones opinion but everyone has a different opinion. And besides I love babies I look after my nephew and others all the time and it’s ok, they stay here sometimes too. If I was pregnant I would have to think about the baby not just myself so I would always make the right decision when it involves someone else, I would protect them whatever, and that means I would probably move out. Right now… I’m used to it and this is all I have and a baby is truly what I want… do you see my point? In my original question when I said I am about to kill myself I probaly wouldn’t have the guts to do so, I would do nothing more than runaway and I’m not sure if that is for the better. Hope you can reply. Thanks your comments have made me consider a lot more but I still want the same thing xoxo

I’m sorry darling, but I still think your priorities are a little out of order. There are many factors that are working against you in this situation:

Age - - I know you’re probably sick of hearing this, you’re too young to be thinking about children. There are still many other things you need to experience first.

Finances - - Do you have sufficient income to support a child?

Status - - Are you in relationship? If so, does HE know that you want a baby? Would he agree and go along with it? If you’re single, how are you planning to approach getting pregnant? One nighters? Sperm donors?

Purpose - - ‘I want a baby’ …isn’t really a good indicator, that your ready for this type of change. A more suitable position would be… ‘I’m ready to be a mother’

Having a child, thinking it will make your life worth living, isn’t the right reason. In a way, you’re placing your happiness in the hands of an infant. You don’t know it will make you happy, you just think it will. And if you have trouble with depression and suicidal tendencies now, the potential for it to increase AFTER birth, is very likely.

You need to find value in your own life, before you decide to create one.

I have only one piece of advice… Wait TIL YOU ARE OLDER AND ARE AT LEAST 20… don’t try and grow up so fast go out to parties and hang out with your friends… you won;t be able to do any fun things carrying a baby around

You want to kill yourself, you hate your family and you want to put a baby this this situation? What are you thinking?

Well would you say that if I was older?

Yes… everything except the ‘Age’ section.

And I don’t know how to love myself.

That’s your main problem. Its also a prerequisite to being a good mother…

Well would you say that if I was older? Thats my one problem, I know teenage mums and I have a nephew, and It is what I wast and I can love and care for it as much as anyone. And I don’t know how to love myself. Its impossible! xoxox

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8 NLT

If you listen to these commands of the Lord your God and carefully obey them, the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always have the upper hand. You must not turn away from any of the commands I am giving you today not to follow after other gods and worship them.

Deuteronomy 28:13-14 NLT

So… then what’s the point of posting a thread, asking for advice, when you’re not even going to consider someone else’s opinion?

How it comes? You want to give a life and in the same time you want to kill your self…Time will solve a lot of things. You are still too young…for a baby. A baby it is not a toy, it is a big responsibility… Think more

Sinela

What I mean is I need a reason to live. Something to live for. Does that make any sense to anyone? x

I think your a little young to be thinking of having a baby, and think of it this way… how would you support that baby with no job and a high school career? would you really want to be tied up like that while your so young? are you mature enough to hadle a baby? I dont mean any offence, but just think it through before you do something you regret later. ( :

easy wear a skirt and transparent shirt and remember do not wear underwear .Try to seduce some guy like your boyfriend for example and say to him that you want him to…you.if you do my instructions I am sure you will be pregnant .tell me what you are going to do later on k

l really think that you should think things over l am the same but l dont want a baby my life is the same as youres l cant stand life but you should just wait a while but haveing a baby is not the anser how about we be friends l can realate to what you are saying

Before attempting to take care of a baby, take care of yourself. If you’re actually as depressed as you say, get help. A baby will only make your life harder.

A baby is not going to cure all of that. I would think about emancipation. Move out, get a good job, get an education. I’m 17 and had my daughter when I was 16. It is tough. A baby is not going to solve your problems, it will probably make them worse right now. We at such young ages shouldn’t be deciding to get pregnant. We should think about what is best for the baby. I got pregnant by mistake, I love her to death still, but I didn’t plan on having her at such a young age. I’m graduating a year early, I have a good job, I mean things weren’t always this good, but I’ve thought about what is best for Makinzie. You’ll need people to support you, money, and a place of your own. Good luck, but just wait please…

SweetHeart; I Am The Same;x I Am 14 Though, Me And My Boyfriend Are Planning A Baby But You Need To Be In A Stable Relasionship And Know That The Daddy Will Stick By You No Matter What;x I’m Sick Off Life, I’m Sick Of Being Treated Like A Child. I’m Sick Of Being Called A Slag; If They Wana Call Me A Slag, I’ll Give ‘Em Reason Too; Babe I’ma Go For It, But Its Up To You;xx

Lovess xxx

I think that you need to love yourself before you can love someone else. I think you need to get help and learn to love your self because believe it feels good when you do! I have 2 kids and love them to death but I am still young and want to do things but I can only do so much. Please think about this carefully and think about the baby you want to be apart of your life…it deserves a lot and that you can not give right now

before you love a baby I think you need to learn to love yourself. keep talking to people, dont give up, try talking to different people, give kids help line a call even or a similar thing in your area learn to love yourself, take care of yourself perhaps start a hobby or work at doing things you love to do keep your day occupied, try to acieve something each day obviously to get pregnant you need to have sex but wait untill youve found a suitable partner first, be patient learn all there is to know about taking care of a baby make sure youll have some money to raise it for food, toys, pram, and a place for it to stay, ect remember, youve got your whole life to live everyones going to die oneday, so make the life you have now worthwhile. do something with it, dont give up or loose hope

Thank you all for the replies so far and most of you say the same thing. I need a job, money, I need to give a baby all my attention, I need to live my life while I’m young etc… but my life is about babys, I know what to do and I have a nephew I have the money saved and I know mums who are around my age. This is what I want. Yes I’m 15 and in the UK. Also I know my family hate me bacause I was raped by a family member. Please reply to this xx

get a cabbage patch kid, and make an appt for a shrink. hopefully some anti depressants will help you realize your not in a good mind frame. your too young to be a mother and it sounds like you can’t even help your own situation let alone a childs. you def have some serious growing up to do.

to all you teenagers who want to be mothers, not a good idea. your self esteem isobviously too low to become a mother. you girls sound so selfish and want what YOU want not considering that when a baby comes, it will no longer be about you. you have no idea how much goes into being a mother. you probably think “poor me my family hates me let me have a kid that will love me”. that won’t fix or help your situation. you’ll end up hating your child bc you think they ruined your life when in fact your impulsiveness to your hormones ruined it and now there’s a innocent kid that thinks its mom hates them. and there goes the cycle. you’ll end up just like your mother.

I’m thinking if there is a baby I would move away otherwise I’m used to it so what’s the point?

thanx:) x

You have sex.

Yes but you’re not me and won’t understand the full story. Thanks anyway. x

If you’re suicidal, I don’t think you’re in the right mindset to be a mother.

I think you should really think that over. It sounds like you only want a child so you can treat it better than you were treated but I think you really need to consider how hard babies are to raise. They cost a lot, you ALWAYS have to be with them and unless your not in school I don’t think you can do that and I don’t think you should leave him/her with someone else that often. I just really think you should consider this some more because you don’t sound qualified to raise a child yet and it sounds like you really want to do it right so wait until you can support one and then you can be the best parent anyone ever was.

Zoeh, Please please please understand that if you want a baby so much and you want to give it the life you never had, You need to wait until you can bring the baby into a peaceful environment. I know that you think that you can move away and start fresh but if you do not help yourself and start loving yourself first, How much good are you really going to be in a babies life. I really hope you think seriously about this and would just like to tell you that a Saturday job will not support you and a baby. Please consider how bad things could get.

u might as well join the list of housing, benefits,etc… since taxpayers get lumped with the bill anyways. But hey, dont worry you will be yet another sad statistic, by being a “young, single, lone parent”…having a baby at 15 is not the only route to take, get a job (career), and self-respect. That way only you can be happier and feel fullfilment, not just using a kid who you think will make you feel happier

don’t have a baby! if you’re that miserable, theres no way that you can find a way to raise a child happily you have to be secure yourself before you can provide for a child 15 is a tough age, but you’ll make it through, stronger than you went in im 16, things aren’t much better except I can handle more pain than I could have ever imagined a year ago you’ll have time for your own family in several years the best way to get rid of your problems is to escape into books and schoolwork and GET A SUMMER JOB! it’ll preoccupy your time just seriously, don’t have a baby because it’ll make your life more miserable and it won’t have the best upbringing if that’s how your life is right now

don’t kill yourself or even think like that, you are fifteen and have your whole life ahead of you. I would personally wait until you have a secure job and a comfortable home before trying to start a family. Your parents probaly mean well, they may not even understand what you are feeling. If being a mother is important to you, then finish high school, and find a career that can support you in order to make life what you dream for your child when it is time. Finishing school now will make life easier for you in the future, don’t give up sweetie, hang in there.

r you nuts!! your still a kid yourself!!!

Yeah, but that’s not the right reason…

Passing along what bneedham07 said on this site previous:

Yeah sweet heart I am 20 and just had one she is 3 monthes and me and my man has been together since I was 16 and we have always went out and did stuff we wanted to yeah I love my baby more than anything in the world I would never give her up but you should wait after I had her it is hard to get some sleep and I can not go out and do anything I want and I though I had a lot of people to help me watch her and everyone says they will but when I had her I had to quit my job because no one would watch her without me paying them and could only watch her certain days so now I sit at home and I have not went and seen a movie in months me and my man never get to go do anything but no one would watch her once I had her she is 3 months and I have went into a crying spell like 5 times because my life is all about her now and you do not have time for anything else I can not go out with my friends or anything anymore and you have not even started your life I have I cousin that had a baby at 14 because she wanted one so bad they day she had her she was so excited but after that day she cries to me saying she wishes she would of waiting she did not finish school no job no life at all she is always in depression so sweet heart if this can help a little I hope this can help you if anymore advise on it just let me know.