Is my girlfriend losing interest in me?

so let me start out by saying that my girlfriend and I are both 19 and have been dating for almost 3 years come winter. I feel that we have the most wonderfull relationship that anyone my age could ever ask for. We both plan to stay together forever and I honestlly feel that I have found the person I want to grow old with. We can sit arround and do nothing every single day of the week and not be bored at all as long as we are in each other’s company. As far as the intimacy in our relationship.. it has always been wonderfull and we were both each other’s firsts which really built up our trust and companionship. She has been having tons of family issues and has really been independant from her parents for the past few years and I know that she honestlly couldnt survive without me. I dont want to sound conceded but I have had to come over and allowed her to spend the night at my place several times because she felt so afraid and lonely in her own home. she has always had a hard time trusing people, and ever since she has let me in, I know that we were meant to be together. She would never cheat on me, nor would I on her, and our bigest fight is only about wanting to be able to see each other more often and not being able to.

SO where does the promblem come in?.. well as of recentlly, as im sure all relationships tend to do. the romance has taken a major slow down. we used to make love every chance we had the opportunity to, and now it seems that its only once every 3-5 weeks (if that). I know that as you grow together more as a couple the physical aspect gets replaced with the spiritual closeness, but I mean.. we are 19 years old. shouldnt the next years be the peak of our sexual activity? In the past we have had a few pregnancy scares which obviouslly had a huge impact on our that issue. however she has switched birth control meathods and we are much more careful and smart about making sure we are safe, so I dont think that is the reason for our lack of intimacy. I love her more than anything and the last thing I would ever want her to think is that I am being pushy or preasuring her into more intimacy, but Its hard to deal with when I am so overly attracted to her still. I tried just taking a break, ya know, giving her space from the romance issue and letting her come on to me when she is ready. but the only problem with that is that she never did. Its not only making-love that has taken a hinderance, but when we are laying together in bed just watching a movie or something, whenever I put my arm arround her and try and cuddle, she pushes me away and just says how tired she is. This to me is the most heartbreaking thing, because I am not in any way trying to be sexual, but she just is always tired and would rather just roll over the other way and not even lean up against me. I have tried talking to her, because I feel we have a very open and mature relationship where we can talk about our feelings, and she just tells me that she is not as much of an emmotionally open person as I am, and even though she loves me more than anything it is just herder for her to show it sometimes. which I know is true because, like I said, she came from a very broken home and never recieved much/any love from her parents.. but in the past we have had no problems cuddling and being intimate. it seems that now it is even amazing to recieve a random “I love you” kiss on the lips. we havnt even made out in at least 3 months and I feel that she is just losing interest in me physically. I tell her how much I love her every time I get the chance and its hard to restrain myself from hugging and putting my arms arround her as to not feel like im overly-affectionate.

I love her more than anything, and I am still very VERY attracted to her physically and emmotionally, but I dont know what I can to to get the same from her? please help

Answer #1

Very nice description of S*x and love. I need to read this daily Thank you

Answer #2

i 100% agree with your answers, but there may have been some mis understanding.. i fully expect the S*x to die down with any relationship and i dont want to tie this question completelly to that subject. you did a great job hellping on that issue.

but what about lack of any sort of touching that is ocmpletelly non-sexual? like just the desire to be close to that person?

Answer #3

maybe she thinks the same way about u, try talking to her:) and as for the people saying that your relationship mite end, if you guuys have such love for each other, you can pull through. most couples have times when things slow down but keep going and it will speed up again:) you sound like a really lovely guy so watever happens, they will always be sumone out th people ere made for you xx

Answer #4

3 yrs is a very long time for young teenage couples to be together, but the truth is, its unlikely to last forever! Its hard to accept, but she isnt the same person she was 3 yrs ago. As you mature, the things that you like and dislike change! Rather than tying yourself down to one choice early in life, it is better to wait until you mature enough to know your desires. You need to know who you are and what you want before you engage in a life-long commitment. Building a relationship requires some maturity to distinguish infatuation from true love. Every teenager believes they are in love at some point. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, this is the one and only relationship. Yet, those teenage romances almost never last. The young person mistakes the rising hormones for love. But the Bible teaches us that love has nothing to do with sexual desires. True love doesn’t die out over time. True love lasts because it is a choice and not a hormone driven desire. Sex vs. Love>>love is not based on sex>sex does not equal love Having sex and being in love is not the same thing!!!

Here are some facts: A man “cut off” from sex by the woman he cares for will believe he is no longer loved. Sex is a measure of love for him. Men and Sex for Women: Many men do not feel loved by women unless sex is involved. They feel the relationship begins when sex begins and ends when sex ends. You may want to have sex to prove ur emotional commitment, but ur partner may be interested only in sex, not u. and if u have sex, you may end up feeling hurt or and used. sex cant save a relationship. Mature reationships are built on mutal trust and repect, having sex wont make a relationship work. Having sex to prove ur love for some1 is one of the worse mistakes any1 can make. Sexual pressure is a sure sign that the motivation is LUST rather than LOVE! *Each of us has five significant parts in our lives. We have the physical, the emotional, the mental, the social, and the spiritual. All five of these parts are designed to work together in harmony. One of our problems is that we want “instant” gratification. When the need for intimacy in a relationship is not met, we look for an “instant” solution. Where do we look? Physical, mental, social, emotional or spiritual? It’s the physical. It is easier to be physically intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other four areas. You can become physically intimate with a person of the opposite sex in an hour, or half-hour – it just depends upon the urge! But you soon discover that sex may only be a temporary relief for a superficial desire. There is a much deeper need that is still unmet. What do you do when the thrill wears off and the more you have sex, the less you like it? We rationalize it by saying, “We are in love. No, I mean really in love.” But we still find ourselves feeling guilty and unsatisfied.

Your youth should be a time of carefree joy. Adulthood and its responsibilities come far too soon, so enjoy your youth and do not borrow future trouble.

Answer #5

Try spending some time apart. When my boyfriend and I were the same age, we had been dating for about that same amount of time and were in a very similar situation. My boyfriend was beginning to become distant. I ended up leaving for a few months and when we saw each other again, the spark was renewed. We continued with a long distance relationship for 4 years. The more we saw each other, the more we felt we needed to be together. That break saved our relationship and now we have been happily married for over 2 years. You seem like a good guy, I hope everything works out.

Answer #6

my guess, shes not at all. Maybe shes not interested in s*x, which is almost the OPPOSITE of love. Dont worry, maybe shes stressed or something. In such a storing relationship, she would’ve told you if she was losing interest. but I dunno, just my opinion. but I think angelfire2708 couldnt be more correct.

Answer #7

Ask her bout her home life as and family, could be some sortof news or something she doesnt want to bring up, ask about her job/uni courses, sh may be under tm pressure. xx you seem like a sweet guy I hope it works out for you!!xx

Answer #8

Well, Yous have been together for a long time. But I know that my boyfriend gets mad easy. And when I dont cuddle with him when he wants to , he thinks that I dont love him anymore. And I guess thats just how some guys are. But coming from a chick, I know that if she doesnt cuddle with you, maybe shes upset about something. Or maybe she just needs a little time alone. My boyfriend told me that if I ever stop loving him to let him know. I know, its kind of cheesey and stuff. But maybe you just need to sit down and talk to her. And tell her that your just wondering whats been going on. And explain to her how much you love her. And just tell her that you want to know the truth, And let her know that you wont be upset or angry with whatever is wrong.

Answer #9

I feel for you but I can relate. you’ve been together for a while now and when I was a teen I had a relationship with my first boyfriend that lasted for three and a half years. we were together from high school until I started uni…I see a lot of myself in your girlfriend just before we broke up. my feelings for him changed because I had changed. it was nothing personal and as much as it hurt me to deny him sex and cuddles and the hand holding I could not help it. he was not the guy I wanted to be with anymore and that was just it. maybe your girlfriend just wants to be alone for a while, discover things she likes and be an individual. you are probably going to take it really hard because you still love her but you will heal. your mate is out there somewhere and for all you know it might be her again but just not right now. wish you all the best!

Answer #10

IM actually going through a similar situation. me and my girlfriend have been together for about 2 year and start dating in highschool as well. the only differance is that she still kisses me and we cuddle from time to time but it seems like the instigation to kiss always comes from my end lately. I feel like im always asking her to kiss me and cuddle with me. sometimes she also says to me when we lay in bed that she is just tired and rolls over. If I press the subject any further asking for just 5 mins of some cuddle time she seems to get mad and annoyed. I’ve sat down with her and had a heart to heart asking if there is anthing going on and to be honest about her feelings. she seems sinsery in telling me nothing has changed and she never wants to loose me but I get a feeling she might be holding on to false feelings if that makes any sense. We also argue a lot about stupid things that never matter atleast 4 times a day. I don’t know whats going on but I just want things to be back the way they were when we were crazy about eachother and could just sit around all day and have a blast. also if this factors in at all we do have sex and have been having sex. the sex is still good and atleast 1 a week but definatly doesnt feel like it used tomore of a going through the motions then physical attraction. sorry for my scatter brain thoughts btw.

Any suggestions or advice would be awsome, thanks and I feel you man!

Answer #11

Well young couples falling out of love is different for each couple. I’m 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we love each other more than anything in the world. And honestly, you sound just like my partner and your partner sounds just like me!

I went through the phase she’s in atm once, I kept pushing away my boyfriend and my reason was because I was stressed about something that I was embarrassed to tell him.

I agree with the other people that said this and sit and have a talk to her!

Communication is key!

Don’t worry too much because you’ve done nothing wrong hun, you sound really sweet. And yes, sex does die down a little, ours has but we still enjoy it.

Just find a way to get her to open up, family life has a big impact so just assure her you won’t get mad and that you’re happy to listen to her whenever she needs you to.

Good luck x

Answer #12

As far as lack of physical communication on her part….i would have to wonder whats going on with her on that. 3 yrs of dating and all of a sudden shes pushing you away….if i ever did that to my bf….it would be because, i am no longer feeling the same way about him as i used to. Sex wouldnt completely die down just like that for no reason.

If i were you, i would have a serious heart to heart talk with her, and see if she will open up to whats really going on inside her. (hopefully there isnt anyone else she is interested in) that would be a thought in the back of my mind….

Good Luck, and keep me posted!

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