Hurting So Badly

Dear folks, I am a step mother to a beautiful 36 year old woman who resents me for having ever married her father. Her dad was only eighteen when she was born into a commune environment. Her mother was mentally and physically more mature and chose to move on after Lila turned six. My husband never married her mother and wasn’t a good long-distant “hands on father” to his little girl. The two of them have a lot of unresolved issues. In the eleven years that my husband and I have been together, I have done everything and said all that I can to him about trying to be there for her more and to try to have a closer adult relationship. She doesn’t even know that I’m always begging him to write or phone her. She resents my mere existence. I don’t want to be in the way, but it hurts when he tells me what she thinks of me. Please, do you have any positive suggestion as to how to get her to give me a chance? Also she feels that because her father has a double degree, that I’m not good enough for him and that he could have done so much better. It was her birthday last month and I bought one of those real cute $10 musical cards. He still hasn’t signed or written her a letter to go inside “why I love you” The family blames me for their broken relationship. This saddens me terribly. She is beautiful, intelligent, articulate, and a joy to be around. She just hates me. Any suggestions, please?