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How to tell relatives they can't stay at your home anymore?

My brother (btw: who is isn’t my mother son but we have the same father) stays out the state, and for the past few months when he has visits he stays at my house. (also we haven’t seen each other in years and just reconnected with each other last year) but when he goes out he comes back in late wee hours of the morning that means if noone hears him he knocking at windows, and calling our phones so one of us can get up answer the door. (last time he almost lost a set of keys) any time before we reconnected he stayed at his aunt house which he says is to noisy and can’t get any rest and his aunt tells him to make it back by a certain time. My moms always gave us rules about what time to be home for, and if we knew we were going to be gone later than expect we take a key. Plus we don’t like a lot of activity here with people in and out. He also says he stays here to spend time with us which isn’t true because I’m in school half the say and he stays’ gone all day and night. (some times he pops at the house unexpected, and calls say he like a hour or so away and still comes extra late.) I want to know how to tell him he can’t stat here anymore after the mardi gras holiday here?

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Answer #1

tell them… they need to find another place. it sounds rude saying it but they will get over it and most likely they will understand. tell them you will help them out in any way you can but for a while you need space.

Answer #2

There isn’t really a way to do it without hurting his feelings. Just say he’s being too much of a problem and you don’t like him being an annoyance to your family and you’d prefer it if he not stay anymore. It has to be direct. I know he will be upset but this is the only way to get it done unless you want to pay his hotel bill.

Answer #3

Put your personal rules of the house on him, and TELL him he has to adhere to them in order to stay with you. Let him know up front…”If you can’t follow the rules, you can’t stay”…period…end of story.

If he doesn’t want to do that (which obviously he didn’t want to do at his aunt’s house)…or if he says he will, but doesn’t…then next time he comes to town, tell him he can’t stay.

Confrontation isn’t fun, I know…but sometimes laying it on the line, and then not budging from that line, is the only way to be understood.

p

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