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How do I talk to my mom about my depression?

Depression runs in my family, and I have felt depressed for quite a while now, and it is getting worse, I can’t concentrate anymore, and I am under so much to pressure to do well in school, but my grades are dropping, and I can hardly pull myself out of bed anymore…actually I haven’t been able to for about a month now, I’ve missed a lot of school, and I don’t feel good, but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am so tired and upset that I can’t get myself to get up…Every time I attempt to talk to my mom about this, she changes the subject or goes out and smokes, that is making it worse, My parents have been fighting a lot, especially in the morning, and all my parents do is complain to me about each other, or about my mom’s family, and I have tried talking to my friends about this, but that isn’t helping, they just start telling me about their parents fighting (a lot of the time, what they tell me happened at least a year before), I know they are trying to help, but it isn’t…how do I talk to my mom, I could never talk to my dad about this, but I need some advice on talking to my mom…

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Answer #1

It sounds like your mom is in denial and probably feels guilty so she’s avoiding the subject. However, her primary concern should be taking care of you. You don’t mention any other family members you can rely on so I’ll assume your mom’s the only option. Could you perhaps write her a letter explaining your feelings? Could you make an appointment with the family doctor and then invite her along? Maybe you could take all the phones off the hook, have a script, and just start reading it aloud to her. Follow her around and be a pest. It’s better than resorting to cutting or running away.

It took a severe event in my life for my parents to admit that something was wrong. It took even longer for them to admit that we have a history of depression in the family. Now, years later, we discuss it openly and work together. But it took me forcing my mom’s hand. If you mom really loves you (and I bet she does) she will eventually listen to what you have to say.

Answer #2

When you want to talk to her, before you begin tell her not to change the subject. Say that you need to get this off your chest and speak about it. Why would she still do it after you told her not too?

Answer #3

I wrote my mom a long note (it took me about 4 hours to write), and I told her that I didn’t want her to talk to any of our other family members about this (because I know that they will blame her for this, the do for everything) and I also asked if we could just talk about this in letters, because I am not a very confrontational person, I think she just read it, because she just came in to get paper, then went back to smoke again…I really appreciate all the advice!

Answer #4

I’ve tried, then the phone rings or something, and I just can’t bring myself to tell her how bad it is, I’ve told her that I can’t seem to enjoy things anymore, but she just says it is a run of the blues…the school concelor would definitely be of no help, because she used to be anorexic, and I’ve heard of the advice she gives…it never helps anyone…

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