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How do I get along with my mom better?
Me and my mom fight a lot and I feel bad about it… Can someone please tell me how to get along better with my mom?
Well, it depends on why you fight. It could just be that you share different opinions about most things, but the biggest reason why mothers and daughters argue is that the message they are trying to send is misinterpreted. For example, if your mom might suggest you see a therapist because you tend to be antisocial and/or depressive. You could get upset and think that she thinks your mentally unhealthy, but she’s really just showing concern. Other times we expect them to say something, and when they don’t it we upsets us, and we take that the wrong way, too. Then again, (and I don’t want to sound negative) you might be going through a rough patch with your mom because of something that’s happening in either of your lives. I love my mom so much, she’s my best friend…but a few months ago all we did was fight. I hated her and I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her!!! Looking back now, I see that it was a combination of the things I just said: I was going through a rough phase, and my mom was just trying to help me. I just misunderstood the gesture. It could also be that your mom disapproves of something about you, but that doesn’t mean she disapproves of YOU. I’m sure she’s trying really hard to understand you…most moms do, it’s their job. I know I sound a bit like a therapist (which really annoys me) but I think we would get along with our moms a lot better if we tried just as hard to understand them.
First you need to find out…are you causing the problem? Are you constantly disobeying by not doing what you’re told, getting bad grades and not studying, staying out late, etc? You need to respect you’re mom, but she needs to respect you too, and understand that you are a human-being and not just her daughter. The most important thing is, you need to respect each other. Work together. You’re mom can be more than JUST your mom, you can be her best friend. You can be more than JUST your mother, she can be your friend. But you need to understand each other. You shouldn’t fight, life’s TOO short. My sister and my dad were feuding for 2 years? Both of them were being immature to not try and find a solution to the problem. My dad almost died in the Hospital, was she there by his side during his worst time, no. Would you like that to happen to your mom? You may think it’s a small fight, but small un-solved fights, turn into huge regretful fights. Is the fight about privileges? If you’re fighting about rules and expectations, it’s just because she only wants wants best. Like I said, the most important thing is communication. You need to tell her how you feel about the fights. Tell her you love her, she needs to know you care about her. I hope the fighting stops, after all, tomorrow’s Mother’s Day! :)
Dear teachel, It takes two to argue. So figure out what the arguments are about…not cleaning your room? Not doing your homework? You not getting enough freedom? Write all these things down on paper. Have mom write all the things she feels you fight about on paper. Compare the two and pick the ones you chose the same. Perhaps you both wrote down doing homework. Talk about and agree on a time you would set aside to do your homework and stick with this schedule. Continue this through the list. Sue…good luck
Thanks to you all!:)
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