Help my son is violent

I could really use some suggestions on what to do about my son. He is 6 years old and is becoming increasingly violent. My husband and I have had problems with him bullying, stealing, being violent, and chronically lying since he was a toddler. We have set rules and have implemented a ‘no tolerance’ practice in our home for all of our children. And our other two (a girl 7 and a boy 5) are both good mannered and sweet as sweet can be. But it seems like our middle son ENJOYS making other people miserable, and he has NO remorse. He punched a little girl in the side of the head and made her ear swell up for no reason at all. We’ve tried time-out, talking to him, grounding, positive feedback when he does good, and spankings. We are now taking him to church hoping that will help. But, so far, nothing seems to work and his answer for acting that way is always “I don’t know. I just felt like it.” I always felt like he would grow out of it, but it is slowly getting worse. We have always told our children that these kinds of things are wrong, but you would think that he would know FOR SURE that hitting is wrong by the time he’s 6. My husband and I are both at our wits end and nothing we do seems to curve his behavior. Thank you for any input.

I have to add too that he has never shown empathy, humility, or compassion. He won’t come give me or his daddy a hug just to give us a hug. It seems like he only does for himself and no one else.

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Answer #1

There was only one thing my parents would do whenever I’d come up with nonsense behaviour, they’d beat me until I’d learn that nonsense is not tolerated in this world. Today I’m an adult, I’m not a thief, I’m not a bully, I’m certainly not a psychopath, and no, I’m not perfect either. But I get by in life, same as everyone else. And amazingly enough, I sometimes think that if it weren’t for the beatings, I might have turned out to be a ‘screw up’ though of course, there’s no way to know that.

Trying to reason with a child can be very hard, because a child doesn’t take into consideration the things that we adults take into consideration. If you tell the child not to play violent video games how in heaven can you expect the child to understand your reasoning behind the request.

From my own point of view, beating a child is sometimes necessary, as unjust and as violent as it seems. As long as it is only done at the right times of course. Over do it and you’ll still get a screwed up child.

Answer #2

he shows all the symptioms of a sycopath. this is no joke he needs psychiatric/medical help. he hurts because he does not get any emotion otherwise…seeing the emotion he can inflict on others fills his void somehow…you should google this problem too.

Answer #3

I don’t know how taking him to church will help for such a young child. I suggest taking him to a child behaviorist or children’s psychiatrist since it’s going to be a waste of time to play mind-games and wonder why he is acting the way he is.

Many children these days are hard to control, you’re not alone. He may have a form of ADHD or something. It’s not your fault as parents and it seems like you’ve tried everything you can in your power to help improve the situation.

Answer #4

maybe he is feeling left out. is he EQUELLY treated the same and payed attention to that you do with all your children?? take him to a dr. or a psycholigist/therapist.

Answer #5

I’ve got one suggestion.

Every time he does bad, give him a little smack or something that hurts him a bit…not really like abusing him and almost killing him.

And after giving him a little smack talk or lecture him about the things he needs to know, like doing bad things will go back to him and kick his little *.

Every time you do this, this should make him very afraid of doing bad things.

And when he does good things, treat him to something he likes…like if his favorite food is a burger, then treat him with it.

Answer #6

For heaven sakes, your little son has some severe behavioural problems that only a medical/psychiatric specialist can diagnose and deal with. Discipline is not going to help.

Their diagnosis might be partial autism and/or hyperactivity/attention disorder - or various other things that only a trained professional is qualified to deal with. There ARE good treatments available, but the sooner you act, the better!

Please do contact ‘the professionals’ - for the sake of your son and his future, and your whole family!

Answer #7

I hate to say it, but it sounds like your son needs psychiatric help. At his age, he should be a little hyper and rough maybe, but nothing like this. I would deffiniately take him to a psychaitrist. Note: This doesn’t mean he’s “crazy”, it just means simply that this could be contributied to somethng like ADHD or another hyperactivity disorder that could be easily treated with medication. Discipline needs to be more like the discipline you would gve a ten year old for the same behavior, because what he is doing is advanced beyond the age of 6 years old. Take away all of his toys and send him to his room with nothing - and I mean NOTHING to do. But I would deffintiley get him psychiatric help.

Answer #8

Me again -

let me just add to what ringleader writes that seeking psychiatric/medical help is NOTHING to fear or be ashamed of.

It’s especially little boys who seem to suffer most from violent behaviour, lack of impulse control, ADHD and similar problems. Medical science knows this, and will be able to help you.

If he had a high temperature, you wouldn’t hesitate to contact a doctor, would you? Well, he needs qualified help for his behaviour problem - now.

Answer #9

If you let young kids play violent video games it can have a reallybad effect on them I know cause it happened to my little brother. Try to keep him active fresh air and ltos of running around really helps little kids try to wear him out and make sure that the atmosphere at home is calm and relaxed that way he won’t need to hurt anyone . Make sure you don’t force him to do things you know he doesn’t like and basicly try and make it so that he doesn’t feel the need to hrut any one . Don’t worry your son is not crazy he is just nervouse all the time

Answer #10

Thank you for your advice. Just to answer some of your questions, yes we treat him and his siblings exactly the same and with the same expectations. Our children are not allowed to play video games. Since we live in the country we send our kids outside most of the day. My husband and I don’t even argue around the children. So where he gets this violence I don’t understand. I will take your advice and seek out a behavioralist to talk to. Thanks!

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