how do I handle my 14 yr old? she drinks smokes has done drugs been in trouble with the police skips school etc etc ?
I went through that stage too when I was younger (im 23 now). I did it because my dad ignored me completely & my mum didnt talk to me very much or offer support/guidance when I needed it, so I chose to rebel to deal with feeling neglected. It got their attention eventually, and they sat me down and told me they don't want to see me mess up my life. I didn't just say "oh ok" and start behaving. I screamed and yelled and tried to push them away but eventually I calmed down and got my act together. I realised if I wanted a good job and a decent future I would need to sort myself out & I did. At that age it is extremely easy to be lead astray by your peers. You want to fit in and will sometimes do bad things to do so. She may grow out of it as I did. Or she may need intervention. Are you setting any rules for her? You need to be a parent not a friend. Be firm but not nasty as she will rebel even more. If you tried talking to her and that didn't work maybe organise for her to speak to a school counsellor or someone who has experience with sorting out troubled young people.
I just turned 13 and when I was 12, I did all those things. I did those things because I felt neglected because I don't talk to my Father and I don't like him much at all. And whenever I told my mom something, she would nod but she didnt listen to me so whatever she said, I didn't listen at all. I was also pushed by school peers to do all that. I felt as if no one cared for me and I was so heartbroken from this "player". I also thought that if my mom didn't know what I was doing, so I just did more and more. So don't confront her as if she was a bad person because sh will yell at you and defend herself and probably throw insults at you. I think you should go and tell her that you care about her and that your worried for her "if" she is doing this and if you've caught her then, you must take away priveleges but sometimes she will either says there is school practice for whatever she "joined" and possibly go to a friends house instead. Sorry if I wasn't such a help. but I just want to tell you from my perspective.
MAMA ; I AM 17 YEARS OLD I HAVE A 3 YEARS OLD YUPP I HAD HER VERY YOUNG . THE ONLY REASON I DID WHAT I DID WAS JUST TO MAKE MY DAD LIKE ME . MY DAD IS IN A CARE HOME TOO ; HE HAD A STROKE TOO. I DID ALL OF THOESE THINGS TOO ! SPEND TIME WITH HER WHEN I WAS HAVIN MY BABY ; MEY && MY MOTHER WERENT SPENING ANY TIME TOGETHER BUT WHEN WE DID IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO MESS IT UP ! I LOVE MY MOTHER TOO DEATH !!
AND WHO THA HELL IS CALLIN HER A BAD MOM !??! YOU TRY TOO TAKE CARE OF A CHILD W/ NO FATHER ; SO DONT SO ANYTHING UNTILL YOUV BEEN THERE !!
GOOD LUCK ; NEED ANYTHING ELSE ? MESSAGE ME =)
well im 13 and I guess if I were in that situation I would be scared and troubled. just try and talk to your child and don't get angry of upset. just be very understanding and listen to how she's feeling. it will probably be hard to "break through her shel" at first, just keep working at it. maybe she is depressed or there is some sort of drama in her life. just try and be gentle and work it out with her. don't listen to the people who tell you your a bad parent. its not your fault after all kids do have a mind of their own.
not letting be edit ! I have tried it dosent work, she still finds money? her friend died in '07 her best friend and her dad took a stroke and hes in a care home now, they were so close.. she dosent do drugs anymore for reasons and I am being a mother!!! she listens sometimes and is good but shes just out of control! AND NOBODY START SAYING IM A RUBBISH MOTHER!!! I've tried my best .. shes calmed down a bit now but I just dont know her anymore! (IM USING MY OTHER DAUGHTERS ACCOUNT )
I agree with intense answer.
There is always a reason why a teenager is acting out. Many times it is because of neglect (whether you do it intentionally or not...after all parents are humans as well).
I think seeing a guidance counsellor or a professional is the best option at the moment. When I was a teenager it was always easier to talk to someone else then my parents.
I'm only 13. I have never done anything like that and I'm obviously not a parent. But if it was my child, I would ground them and take things away, and privilages. You should make sure you know the people she hangs around cause they can effect the decisions she makes. She might not listen to you at first, but act very serious. I hoped I helped :D
it time to show her tough love...before it gets the point where death becomes her best friend please consider getting your daughter into a mentally health facilaty... I am sure your daughter is a bright and sweet girl but please seek her help before you loose your baby girl
maybe stop giving priveleges.has a cell phone?take it.wants to go somewhere?say no.just start taking things away...she'll soon realize your not playing any games with her...and I agree with intense..your her PARENT not her FRIEND.
Through much prayer, love, and consulting with professionals as to your best course of action - get her help - parents job to look after her best interests regardless...I wish you the best !!
Try to understand her and know why she's going through this.
But trying to be all tough and taking away privileges will not do anything, it'll just make her hate you and want to run away.
you HAVE to lay down some rules trust me and if she dont listin take away her phone or something until she does it and sometimes you have to be MEAN trust me my mom got me to mind her haha
well this recently happened to a friend of a friend and they sent them to a trusted friends house. so if you know someone who is really strict you should pack her bag and "kick her out".
its not being tough...its showing your daughter that your her parent and she needs to respect that.if she cant act mature,then she wont have things.simple as that...
find a friend that has family in Mexico - particularly a Ranch. They will never act up when they are in the hands of strangers and need to earn their food.
EXTREME TOUGH LOVE gotta show her who's boss. Straighten her out Seems like thats what needs to happen to kids like that at my school
Step in and be a parent! Jeez! Take away her money.
