Really need a healthy way to express big emotions

A little back story might be necessary but to start with I’m trans - this probably does have something to do with my initial question but it might not. Anyway it started about the time I finally got into sorted everything out for that, lets call it a condition. I’ve always been shy, felt different from everyone else and just out of place everywhere I was. Safe haven was hiding away in my bedroom.

Things started escalating after a while and I would get really depressed and sometimes so angry I’d hit things etc. becoming so frustrated with myself etc. I was scared to tell people how I felt as I was scared people would not understand be scared of me.

I’ve left (“graduated”) school since the beginning of all of this, and it has mellowed but I do have on and off days. I broke off a not even 3 month relationship as I couldn’t stand not being alone and just to myself. I’ve never been very social but that doesnt bother me, i like my own company. in the last 1/2 years I’ve been in the shadow of my younger brothers social life, sometimes it would suprise people for them to find we were related let alone brothers.

I was just wondering is there any self training tips and hints for mellowing yourself out, calming yourself down etc. cus all I have at the moment is 1 friend who knows what to say and do. Thanks!