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Why do people stay in relationships that are abusive?

Why do you think Women / Men stay in a r/ship at the first signs of Violence, Emotional trauma ? . My now ex has been swearing at me for a few days, has been really aggressive, and I now have a bruised cheek where during a physical confrontation he elbowed me in the face, this was all in my home where he does not live, with my daughter in the house getting ready for school.

I will not be living my life like this and that one is gone straight away.

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Answer #1

I stayed in two abusive relationships… the first for 10 yrs the second for 6 yrs… never again will i put up with abuse… the first signs and i’ll be gone…the abuser knocks the self esteem/self condfidence out of the victim, whether its physical, mental, emotional, verbal abuse. They then aplologise. The vicitm is made to think that its their fault and that they cannot of survive without the abuser. ‘you are lucky to have me, no one else would want you’… that is the sort of thing they hear and end up believing. They just long for the person they fell in love with who was nice and caring, they are waiting for this monster to change back to how he/she was, but they never do, this is who they really are. Many women stay because of the children, because they have no money or anywhere to go, but there is help out there now, and as Sue says, there are shelters.

I’m now with a man who wouldn’t lay a hand on me, who cares for me and makes me feel safe. Yet i’m still insecure and lack self esteem. But i’m alot better than i was. A lot lot better… There is light at the end of the tunnel, but the victim needs to make those first few steps to freedom. No one else can do it for them. Its a hard decision to make but once its done its a wonderfull feeling, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Get rid of him, you don’t deserve this and he definately doesn’t deserve you. Call the police if need be but make sure you see the last of him.

Good luck, if you need to talk funmail me and i’ll get back to you. nicola

Answer #2

i stayed in my relationship for about a year because he keep threatening to kill me and my family if i left him. i couldn’t let him do that. i also stayed because i was afraid that i would never find someone else. he would always tell me that i was ugly, he would call me mean names and he would tell me that i was fat and that no one loved or cared about me. he would also tell me that it was my fault that my mom died. i think that women stay in those relationships because they are scared of the person, have no where else to go or think that they can help change the person to make them better.

Answer #3

Dear leighqt, It is great to hear you will be moving on. Why women stay in bad relationships is mostly out of fear. They are afraid to be alone, fear they can’t make it on there own and the big one HE WILL CHANGE. We know that we cannot change anyone but ourselves and the only way to independent is to make sure we have the means to be..as far as career, financial and some type of support. The argument used to be I stay for the children but we now know that this is the worst thing and the children fair much better in a single happy home then a home that is abusive and hostile with both parents. Of course there are many other reason people stay but we are seeing a rise in the use of shelters both for men and women; this tells us people are finally finding the strength to get out. Sue…good luck

Answer #4

so that the Boyfriend or Girlfriend doesnt hurt them even more for dumping them

DUHHH and because deeply truly inside they THINK they still love them

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