How can i deal with the fact that my dad is slowly dieing?

  • to explain more my dad has a hernia thats next to his stomach, which is making him produce too much acid, so the acid goes up his tubes to his heart, and his hearts being eroded by the acid. i dunno what to do its been 3 nearly 4 years since my mum left nd i found out about my dad and my sister got pregnant and moved out so its just me and my dad, everyday he keeps saying i’m waiting for god to take me, i see him in pain just tryin to avoid feeling it. i hate it. every night my dad throws up his food intake and since my house echos i hear it, every ones concerned but they dont have to live with it, i’m so scared that one day i get home and wait for my dad to come home from work nd think maybe today his heart will give up nd i keep waiting for him. i cry almost everyday because he’s hurting nd even having the oporation its a 50/50 he’ll get out of it alive. i’ve dealt with this for 3 years nd i cant stand it anymore he keeps getting worse and worse, i’m breaking inside. how can i cope with this anymore its too hard.
Answer #1

That’s a tough one. I don’t think I could stop myself from feeling like sh!t if I were in that situation. The only thing I could think to do is spend as much time with him as you can doing the things you guys like to do.

Answer #2

That’s tough, I remember my dad had a hernia but they did surgery for that. Spend a much time with him. If you believe in God, you could always pray for strength and healing for your dad and family. What you can do for him is ask him what he wants, what he needs, how he feels. Listen to him.

Answer #3

I have to agree with satanheadbangstometal,it’s a hard issue to deal with… I know this for a fact, it’s why i moved back to my parents home, my father is 73 years old, with congestive heart failure…with these things you never know what can god forbid trigger a heart attack or god forbid worse…for the heart to just stop.

The best advice as mentioned is to try to perhaps make a video…decide that tomorrow is a day to go outside…hv fun, have it all filmed…pics.
Being cooped up in the home, with 4 walls is depressing as is…some fresh air…a walk in the park…a drive to the beach(even if cool with a coat on, wrapped in a blanket….) the smile, of a day outdoors is one of the most things u will be able to take with you for always. Pictures of him happy & smiling rather then depressed & cooped up crying and feeling sorry for himself. Make some new memories so he also has something to remember other then lying in a bed puking his guts out…surprise him with an album of pics…call it: “the day me & dad hung out 2010”!

Now that would make him smile…and perhaps also allow you to smile too…even if it is just for 1 day.

Hope this helped lift ur spirits. hv a great week.

Answer #4

My dad had a hernia too, but back then they had this strap thing that you put on and it would get rid of it, but they stopped doing that because it doesnt work for most people. It worked for my daddy, though. :D

Answer #5

I’m not quite sure what they used on my dad.

Answer #6

Even though my dad is healthy I always take as many pictures as possible and film him playing guitar all the time that way i’ll always have them. It’s kind of queer, but whatever. :)

Answer #7

I know how you feel. My father has had cancer for over 7 years and has been told he didnt have much time left several times now. Ive seen his struggle, been home when he was sick and could barely move, seen him in and out of the hospital, and now hes wasting away and has lost all of his hair. Theres no easy way to cope with it. Sometimes knowing your father is going to die and actually watching happen over time is worse than it happening suddenly. All you can do is talk to him when you need to, talk to family members and friends, take this time you do have and spend it with him, and if you need to cry…cry. Theres nothing wrong with feeling your emotions. Ive recently started making a scrapbook of my fathers life…its been therapeutic in a way to remember all of the good times and document them, that way his grandchildren will have all the memories that i had of him.

Answer #8

who said it was queer…i think its awesome…i wish i could get my dad to do that but he is so damn stubborn at this age…they want what they want when they want it.

I even tried getting him to write about his life as he remembers it like a journal…he just gvs me this whole, my head isnt working…cant concentrate…nothing i can do or say but love him & try to spend as much time as I can with him. :(

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