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I Need Some Help with Depth in my Story...?

Ok I know I already posted a question on my story, BUT I forgot to ask something on it. My story is somewhat comming along now!!

I want to make the story very deep, I want the connection between the girl (average teenager - 17 years old) and the boy (singer in a band - 21 years old] to be deep, passionate.

And somehow there’s going to be something that happened, which made the girl completely break down, and so she runs to the top of a building and stands on the edge, while the tears from her pain drip down to the city streets. She is doing this because she realises that she never could stand a chance with him, because she’ll never get a chance to meet him.

And so somehow (I havent figured this out yet) the singer realises that there’s a girl who’s just about to jump off a roof for him, and finds her and stuff…

I don’t know I just need a LOT of help to really make it a deep connection story… So like it would even make the reader feel the depth of it…

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Answer #1

How about this: As the couple continue their relationship, their love grows deeper than can be explained in 340 pages of a novel. In an attempt to get the singer from the boy, the band auditions for a recording deal, and they get it. The girl is thrilled for the boy, but they are about to go on a tour for 3 months. they won’t get to see each other until the band is done with their tour. The girl, knowing that this is the singer’s dream, lets him go. She waits for him, but after three months, he does not return. His band decided to stay in New York. She cries for weeks, but then remembers his phone number. She sends him a text saying “I love you and I am so happy for you. I’ll see you soon. Love, Me.” Little does the boy know that the girl is going to jump off of a building in New York to keep from interfering in the boy’s dream. Before she jumps, she hears her phone ring. The boy has sent her a text saying “I love you too.” She sends back just a simple word: “goodbye.” The boy replies “What does that mean?” The girl looks down and sees the small outlines of vans with station numbers. “Turn on Channel 9” The boy turns on Channel 9 and notices the girl on top of the building. “Stop. Please don’t do this.”

Answer #2

“She couldn’t stop thinking of him. Everytime that perfect image of his subtle smile popped into her head, she felt her very soul burn and sting with the knowledge that she would never get closer than this. She longed to reach out and touch his smooth, flawless, cheek, and brush his fine hair from his glistening eyes. When she thought about this her heart almost felt calm. Her heart’s tranquillity never lasted long though. Once she realized the impossibility of him ever being so close to her, her entire soul shattered and the tears came again.”

I don’t know hows that?

Answer #3

hmm you could have her jump off the roof of where his performance is.

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