need people to help heart my contest entry please?

On a website called figment I’m entering a short story contest and really need people to give me story a heart, it only takes a few minutes to read and would mean the world to me! Here’s a link to the story!

Answer #1

I can see where you’re trying to go with this, and it has definite potential, but the grammatical errors cause it to lose its impact. If you can get the sentences flowing properly, it could be virtually tear-jerking.

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