Will he ever leave his wife?

If he was going to leave his wife he would have done it quickly. Men will tell you what you want to hear before the truth. Its simply easier. How long has this been going on? If I were you and still wanted to entertain the affair, I would set a time limit of no longer than a month. Tell him this deadline and stick to it. If he doesn’t leave within this time limit, he will never, ever leave!

If he is cheating on his wife now, then he is someone who is not trustworthy. He will do the same to you later, since he is capable. Imagine being married to him a few years down the line, and finding out he is having an affair with someone. How would it make you feel? How do you think his wife feels?

Im with mborders, I dont see how you can be comfortable ruining a marraige. If he really wanted to have something to do with you, it would have already happend. The whole “im going to file for divorce” talk is the common run around story that is usually told. You are the mistress- Not a serious commitment.

I would suggest getting out of the relationship, and finding a trustworthy man who is willing to give his all to you and the relationship. It will benefit you in the end!

why would you want to be with someone who obevously cant be trusted? i dont think he has any intentions of leaveing her. even if he did, i think it would only be a matter of time before he did the same thing to you. do you sleep easily at night knowing you are having an affair with a married man? i know if i were his wife i would make both your lives a living hell. if i were you i would just cut all ties with him, and try to find a more healthy, and meaningful relationship.

Look, i might be a teen but i still give advice. If u know he has a wife u have to dump him. Plus, there might be something that his wife dont give him like u do. It will hurt leaving him but you ll get through it you have to be strong, but he’ll know what it’s like to be brokenhearted. Follow wat ur heart says not ur mind

MY SPOUSE DID HE LEFT AND WAS LIVING WITH A FRIEND BUT THEN MOVED IN WITH HIS CONCUBINE. MY CHILDREN’S AGES ARE 26, 23 AND 17. WHEN HE WAS FOUND OUT WAS FEB. 23, 2008, AND YET WHEN WE FOUND HIM OUT HE WASN’T MAN ENOUGH TO SAY THE WHOLE TRUTH HE SAID HE HAD MET HER ON THE INTERNET WHICH FIVE MONTHS LATER AFTER GOING TO COUNSELING AND HIM SAYING HE JUST COULDN’T GET THOSE “IN LOVE FEEILNGS” BACK FOR ME I FOUND OUT THAT THE MISTRESS WORKED WITH HIM AND ULTIMATELY WHILE GOING TO COUNSELING WITH ME THEY ENDED UP MOVING HIM TO ANTOHER OFFICE BECAUSE OF THE AFFAIR. BUT YET AND STILL THROUGH ALL THAT HE NEVER WAS UP FRONT ABOUT IT NEVER TOTALLY HONEST. I WAS MARRIED TO HIS MAN FOR 25 YEARS AND I FEEL AS IF HE IS NOW A STRANGER AND ENEMY TO CAUSE SO MUCH PAIN TO MY CHILDREN AND I. MY CHILDREN WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM AND HE JUST DOESN’T GET WHY IT’S AS IF HE WANTS US TO BE HAPPY FOR HIS NEW FOUND LOVE. HE’S BEEN LIVING WITH HER FOR 10 MONTHS. IT’S ALL SO SAD AND PATHETIC I JUST PRAY FOR GOD TO HELP MY CHILDREN AND I THROUGH ALL OF THIS DEVASTATION AND DECEIT.

Sandy I cant thank you enough… my relationship of 6 months has hit a serious patch tonight, he’s told me he isn’t leaving. The entire reason is the money. Between child support and alimony he’d have to pay, he would be left with less than 1K a month, so he’s not leaving. Now it falls to me: theres no lying, no promises he won’t keep. It is what it is, but is it what I want?

I love spending time with him, I love hearing about the kids, and I absolutely love that we can talk for hours a day and still have so much to say. He’s shown me a side of myself that no other man I’ve dated has been able to, he’s pushed me to succeed in both my work and personal goals, and been so supportive of every decision I’ve made. Our non-conventional relationship just makes one realize that maybe marriage isn’t for everyone.

CC, the issue isn’t about him leaving or not, it’s about you waiting or not. It’s about you saying that either 1- the way things are isn’t what you want or need, or 2- you care about him to the extent that being with him at all, and the wonderful time you share together is worth all the baggage. If the time you spend missing him, or the times you spend wishing he wasn’t still with the misses outweigh the time you get to have together, you have the answer you’re looking for.

I know all of us women in this situation (the “other” woman, if you will) aren’t the horrible people everyone make us out to be- it isn’t spite that guides our actions, it’s true and raw emotion that is often more fulfilling and deeper than anything most people experience. We know he’s probably lying, we know he may never leave, but there can be no denying that sometimes, the painful truth of this statement is worth being with a man you care more about than any other you have ever known.

You are his mistress, and thats all you will ever be to him. What hes telling you is everything YOU wanna hear.

Dr Phil offers HIS advice>

If you’re involved with a married man, and you’re waiting for your turn, it’s time to re-evaluate your situation. *It’s time to move forward. If you’re putting your life on hold for a married man, he’s stolen not only your heart — he’s stolen your brain!

*No matter how you justify it, you are attacking his family unit. Even if he is separated from his wife, that is their business and you are a threat to their marriage. You aren’t welcome and you don’t belong.

*You may feel that he’s your soul mate, but think again. A real soul mate would not set you on the sidelines. He wouldn’t allow it, let alone entice it.

*Keep in mind that you only know what he tells you. You already know that he’s a liar because he’s living a lie with his wife and children. How can you be sure whether you’re the only “other woman” he has? Entertain the possibility that he is lying to you, and you are being used.

*Think of his wife. Is it fair to her? She’s been married to him for however many years, cleaned up after him when he’s sick, raised children with him, sacrificed with him, dealt with the “damn dailies,” then you come in at the 11th hour and provide a contrast to that that’s new and exciting and fun. You are intruding upon her turf. You are a trespasser. It is no different than being a thief in the night. It is no different than breaking into their house and stealing their things.

*Even if your married man decided to leave his wife and family for you, that doesn’t guarantee success. Relationships born out of affairs survive less than 5 percent of the time. If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you. If he’s living this deception with you today, how could you ever trust him if you did get into a legitimate relationship with him?

*Break off this relationship today. You’ll hurt, you’ll feel broken-hearted, but you’ll be better off. Take some time to get really clear with yourself about who you are and what you want. The most important relationship you’ll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. And eventually, you’ll fall in love again — with someone who’s willing to make you first in his life.

I was involved with my boyfriend for 5 months, when he filed for divorce from his wife. Two weeks before he filed was the first time he brought up the topic of divorcing his wife and starting as new life with me. You see: he brought it up. I was happy and astonished at the same time - and he really stuck to his plan.

I think that men that really have the intention to get out of a marriage, for whatever reason, just do it and do not talk about it too much with their mistress, nor do they make up big verbal future plans. They just DO it, they do not talk about it over and over again.

Sometimes a new relationship is just the LAST BIG PUSH, to make him realize what he wants or doesn’t want anymore. I think unlike women, men need escape helpers in form of a new relationship, to make it out of an unhappy marriage, a new love can be the real incentive to finally change his situation.

My girlfriend was together with a married man for 18 months, he now filed for divorce and they plan on moving together, and my own grandmother was left by my grandmother for his mistress, her married his mistress and they had a happy marriage until the day he died. So, yes, it is possible that men leave their wives for their mistresses and have a happy ever after, but those that do were not just looking for an affair or a fling, they were looking for an escape partner to take them by the hand. A man that waits too long to make up his mind for his mistress, is either not ready to leave his wife yet or thinks that you are not the right partner for him. In any event, you are wasting your time, if he does not know in a foreseeable time that he wants to be ONLY with you. If you are already asking the question to yourself whether he will leave, that means you are already impatient. It comes then to the point to leave - without ultimatum. Men that truly love do not need an ultimatum.

So the longer you wait and the more he talks about what he wants instead of doing what he wants, the greater the odds that he does not have the intentions or the guts to get out of his marriage. In any event: you are wasting your time!

What help do you need? That couple will remain together because neither the love nor the sx is that which keeps them together. I do not know what is that, maybe the kids, or else. Maybe even they do not know the answer, e.g. they are just lasy to divorce. You have to be satisfied by the love and sx, and that is not nothing. And your decision is that it is enough for you or not. I advice you to tell your man that it is not neccessary to talk about a common future, because you do not beleive that. Then your emotional balance might be restored.

He more then likely has another girlfriend just like you. Someone new that will go thru the same exact same thing to her. This kind of man will continue this to have a string of women just like you. Been there. Never again. He will never leave his life with his wife. He loves the game.

Nope He won’t!!He would of done it already!! My husband had an affair with this girl for like two years and he even had a child with her!He promised her a million things and said he loved her and he never left me so there is your answer

Don’t know if I have any advice … just some input … I have been with a married man now for about 8 months … he doesn’t promise me the world, bash his wife, tell me he is leaving and to be patient, tell me he is going to a lawyer or anything like that … I just think we are in love … it’s not just sex … we read the same books, watch foreign films, play tennis together and talk about current affairs and interesting things … right now I am enjoying it … guess if it was meant to be it will be … I have no plans to give an ultimatum or anything like that … it just feels right … and if my feelings are correct, then I really do believe he will just naturally leave and come to me … and if it wasn’t meant to be, and this all isn;’t really true, then he won’t … I do hope it is true, but if that ends up not being the case, then I wouldn’t want him anyway … I wouldn’t want anyone I had to give an ultilmatum to or force to be with me … I just know what I want for me and my life, and I have faith that I will end up with the right person … if it’s not him, then it will be someone else …

So, don’t worry about whether or not he will ever leave his wife … think about if you want out of life … and if you want a husband, then don’t wait for him to leave or not … go out and look for what you want … if he wants or is supposed to be with you, then he will … and no amount of worrying, demanding, etc. will change that…

It can happen, I have seen it happen, but I have been with the same married man for over 5 years and we go through cycles of being head over heals, great sex, great conversation, and yes I feel he is my soulmate, but then he is old fashioned and feels that even though he is my soulmate, that the right thing to do is stay with his wife, so we separate and then inevitably we come together again, not matter how hard we try we can’t stay away from each other. At this point I am with Sandy, fall in love with the incredible feeling of passion and concentrate on that, and the universe will bring that to you, wether it is this man, or another. Believe that you can have complete passion in your life, and you will! Chreyl