Should I still be concerned about my bf's relationship with other close "friends"?

8months have went by so fast and our relationship is strong. However, I still feel gloomy, nervous andinsecure whenever he sees or talks to other friends. With guys it’s all smooth and alright but with another girl that he considers a close “friend” really makes me seem as if there’s something about them. Months into our relationship he told me the day before he was gonna hangout with her friend from school. (Someone he hasn’t seen or wanted to catch up on things) As that day came by, the only time he texted me was in the morning to say, “Good Morning” and everything else we text before he want to school. As the day went by I got no texts, no calls, nothing to tell me that everything was okay and whatnot as he always informed me on what was going on. At this point I started to have a meltdown. I couldn’t text him or tell him because if I tried he wouldn’t answer..and he didn’t. I called my friend and told her the story then I texted him how I felt and he didn’t like how it sounded when I explained to him we needed to talk. He gave me a brief things they did for the day and let’s just say it sounded like a date… ._. The stuff he did with her..just don’t make sense. Going out to lunch, going to the nail salon…regretfully..?? Taking a stroll and then going back to his house to play video games. With all this said and done he waited around for her and didn’t mind the drive and where she lived. But when it comes to me, “Oh I don’t want to go far, blah blah blah” I call BS on that. if he can for FRIEND then hell he can for his me; His GF. I’m just shaking, because I can’t take the pressure and he;s been my first…but should I still be concerned because I saved the texts from his phone to me so he understands what happened..

The other thing real quick is on new years eve we hungout at a friends party. All went well until he was working on my computer he brought over, another girl he knew from school constantly went back there to talk with him, everytime I came out to the living room. I was triggered by this with jealousy, wondering to myself, “Why is she always going back there?” I confronted him about both subjects and different girls btw and he told me nothing happened. He told me, “she just wanted to know things and how the computer was”. Right from there I just went silent and he snuggled me..saying my name over and over..I just couldn’t bear with it since then I found a book. A mini notepad as it seemed and it had a sentance or paragraph with this girls name in it. He took it from me and torn out the pages… Should I approach him on that? Why did he tear them out? Why did he take it thinking “Oh shit!”? Like I’m territfied to approach him. I’m sorry for the long block of text, but I need support and help on this. I’m depressed and my bloodpressure is high, I’m having panic attacks by thinking about all this :/

Answer #1

You need to stop this jealousy. I’m sure your boyfriend isn’t doing anything shady behind your back, you’re just being paranoid. Usually when a girl gets involved with a guy for the first time, they can be pretty insecure like you are now. I think that with time you will get over this. This type of behavior will surely drive him away with time… My boyfriend has friends who are girls that he hangs out with and I don’t mind. I also have guy friends that I hang out with and he doesn’t mind. We trust each other and we love each other enough to know that we would never do anything to ruin that trust or love.

Answer #2

Your BF probably just has platonic female friends. This might be hard to hear but even though you are romantic with him he probably has female friends that he has known longer than you and even though platonic he may be deeper than his relationship with them than he is with you. There may be things he shares with his friends that he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with you, at least not yet. I don’t know if your guy is a horndog or if he is just a sensitive guy who is more comfortable around women than men. I do know that if his relationship with you is one of constant suspicion and distrust that it has no chance. You should talk this out with him. Tell him what makes you uncomfortable and listen to what he has to say.

Answer #3

Well the one paragraph I did mention about him hanging with a girl all day is actually a flirt. She “tried” to flirt with him when I wasn’t around and he didn’t take the hint right away as I asked one of his best friends that depise her for her actions flirting around guys that are already taken. I never met the girl but she longer is in the state..so I guess that’s a good thing. But it’s probably true and getting my moments when not around him makes me uncomfortable and I already approached him a few times, making sure it’s not what I think it is. He has many friends and I don’t, so I do get anxiety attacks and such because he sees many girls as friends. He kind of does things in front of me where I feel triggered by it. He doesn’t know a lot of things on how to handle situations, never has had that sort of thing happened over other worse things from past relations. But I’ll see what can keep me occupied I suppose, because I don’t see him everyday or every week, but we do text each other every so often when we can.

Answer #4

As I did ask a best friend of his about his relationship with this one girl he knew and did have a crush on. She seemed to play my mind at the party by disturbing us constantly and by that, when we were talking she would come over and be like “what’s up?” sort of attitude. I can’t seem to shake the feeling but the jealousy part is really getting to me as the days go by..I did approach him a few times about the certain people and such and he was silent for a moment until he then spoke..I do trust him but he doesn’’t seem to I guess trust me? Not entirely sure :/ But I’m afraid to say I’ll leave him when I am just being over-thoughtful.

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