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Can we still be friends after I've been dumped?

My, girlfriend whom which I still love, broke up with me last night. We were obviously really close and we were not only a couple but best friends. She says she still wants to be best friends and do the things that were doing as a couple. Should I just not tease myself and get out?

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Answer #1

You mean like, Friends with benefits? Sleeping with someone over and over again is playing with fire. It’s totally unfair for her to break up with you but think it’s okay to have sex with you. Either you are together or you are not. She is using your emotional vulnerability (and your obvious hope that you can get her to change her mind) to get sex. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but when someones all upset about a bf /gf who breaks up with them and tells them “you are still my best friend” but still keeps the sexual part of the relationship then something is very wrong here. She is taking advantage of you and you are setting yourself up for more heartache. This is not a “friendship”, so stop kidding yourself. You are suffering and she doesn’t care. She is getting exactly what she wants and you would be enabling her to continue to hurt you. Real friends don’t do that to each other. And you aren’t being much of a friend to yourself by agreeing to sex with your ex. You aren’t being honest with yourself. (You know it’s over for her but you are pretending that if she still wants sex with you then that means she might change her mind.)

Answer #2

Dear robsgotquestions, NO…friends with benefits don’t work and NO…staying friends with out benefits with an ex doesn’t work either. Then there is hope that we will get back together…but since you were unable to talk through the problem and solve it in the first place…the relationship is over. The stats are very much against staying friends and this situation will no doubt hurt other relationships for you in the future. Sorry that you have been hurt by this but chalk it up to experience move on and break all contact with her. If you couldn’t work through the problems in the first place it wasn’t mean to be. Sue…good luck

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