How do you choose between two people you'd give your life for?

Ohkay this guy named Jr has been with my mom since i was 4 he raised me he was always there for me even when him & mom split up ( there back together now though ) He was always there He’s my dad blood or not & hes always told everyone i was his daughter & I am He was there when my real dad wasnt.. & ive been with this boy for 7 months i love him more than anyone my life has always been messed up ive had a hard one & he’s the only guy i’ve ever been able to open up to & trust wth everything in me i’d give up my life just for him to be happy he’s the only thing tht makes me smile when nothing else can. He talks about marrying me one day & having a family & going to college together my life i thought was perfect.. but my dad jr just called me about 30 mins ago & was like Either him or me & if its him you’ll never be anything else to me nothing but i cant let him go neither of them id give my life for both Help me pleasee. i’ve tried talkin to my dad tellin him how i feel about him but idk :’(

Answer #1

That’s really horrible and im sorry to hear that. But why does your dad not like this guy? Did he do something wrong? Does he have ANY good reason to not like the kid? Has he had problems with your boyfriends in the past? He’s just trying to look after you cha’know. & Honestly your a teenager, you probably think this kid means the world to you, and you love him. (Not saying ya’ dont.) But dont get in to deep, to fast. I was with a guy for 2 years. That treated me like a princess till’ the day we started Highschool together. He completely changed and was not the guy I ‘thought’ I loved. We’re friends now. & I’ll always love him as a friend. But. It just wasn’t the same. Anyway, enough of my venting. :D This probably isnt the BEST advice but if I was in the situation. I would just try to keep my relationship underwraps, for the time being & figure out what exactly your dads problem with this guy is. If he has a good reason, “He’s on dr*gs, he walks all over you. Etc.” and you find it true, leave the guy. If not. Tell him. You wanna be with this guy, and he’s really good to you. & to just TRY to accept it. You are HIS daughter, he isn’t going to walk out on you because of a boy. He loves you, he wouldn’t do that. Reguardless of his threats. If he’s the daddy you know and love, that’s raised you practically your whole life. He wont.

Answer #2

Ok so im not fully understanding. Anyways, your dad. He will always be with you. Hes been there for you since you were four. That shouldnt be a question. Now, ur bf says all this now, but if yall go through something that could end your relationship. Just sayin. And if ur dad really cared, he wouldnt put you in this type of situation.

Answer #3

I get the idea there is a lot more to this story. Why does your dad dislike your BF? At 14 odds are your BF isn’t your soul mate. Based on what I know so far I’d say choose your dad. If you were older and your dad was being unreasonable I could see siding with your BF but you are young and chances are your dad is just trying to protect you.

Answer #4

You and your dad need to sit down and talk about why he doesn’t like your boyfriend. If there’s a real issue, then you should side with your dad. He’s only looking our for you.

When you’re that young, you can’t be thinking too far ahead in life. Date for fun, don’t think about marriage and having a family. Take it day by day. You’re too young to make that kind of decision. Maybe in the future you two will still be together, but that’s a long time from now. I’m 18 and I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We’ve never talked about marriage or having a family, we just take it day by day. Once college came into the picture, we decided to attend the same school, but we never really planned that. We love each other very much, but we are realistic. If things work out in the future, then that’s great. If they don’t, it just wasn’t meant to be.

If you and your boyfriend don’t make it, don’t worry, just move on. It’s not the end of the world. Your dad will be there to pick up the pieces when you fall.

Answer #5

I’ll agree with this…. You are 14 and you still have a lot of growing to do. Love will come again and even if he’s supposed to be the one. You are still entirely too young right now. And trust me, you won’t be the same person at 14 as when you are 18 and 21 and so on. I hate ultimatums…. and I do think there is more to this story. However, If I had the choice, it’d be your stepdad.

Answer #6

I’ll agree with this…. You are 14 and you still have a lot of growing to do. Love will come again and even if he’s supposed to be the one. You are still entirely too young right now. And trust me, you won’t be the same person at 14 as when you are 18 and 21 and so on. I hate ultimatums…. and I do think there is more to this story. However, If I had the choice, it’d be your stepdad.

Answer #7

I really don’t know the situation from your perspective, but last resort I would stay with the stepdad. There are plenty of fishes in the sea as they say. And this guy could mean the world to you, but to tell you the truth, it’s like that for basically everyone. First loves (meaningful) are the hardest of all, plus 7 months is not a whole lot compared to the time your step dad has been there. Relationships can lie in a way, like the way he said you are going to marry and whatnot, I am certain that will not happen (but idk entirely). Trust me I said that to my ex, and we planned our lives together for sometime, stupid was I, and we realized none of that was ever going to happen. Teenage relationships like this are supposed to teach you things, not make it all happen in one go. The thing i learned from my “first love” was that, not all things happen as we want them to happen, and sometimes feelings can lie to us. Still, these are your decisions, not mine. So pick wisely. And remember you really can’t replace a father (or step father) to your own terms. Learn from this, see what you like in guys like him. Maybe sometime later in life you will thank yourself. Well good luck. Think this through, and don’t just let my opinion influence your outmost decision.

Answer #8

Assuming you don’t already know why your dad is making this demand of you:

  1. Tell your boyfriend (and mean it) that he’s on hold for a while until you straighten this out with your dad.

  2. Tell your dad that you’ve told your boyfriend you can’t see him until it’s straightened out, and that you plan to honor that. Ask your dad what it’s all about, what his objection to this guy is.

  3. If your dad doesn’t want to talk with you about it, tell him you’re getting to an age now where you’re going to start having feelings for boys who are special to you, and you need to know that your dad is ok with that.

  4. If your dad still resists, camp out on his doorstep; stalk him. Keep reminding him that you’re doing what he asked for, and tell him you need something from him, too, that it’s important to you, and that you won’t let up until he has a real conversation with you about it and explains what’s going on.

.

(If you do already know why your dad objects, just realize that you’re not going to get our best advice here if you withhold crucial information.)

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