Funadvice Logo
Post
More Art, Writing & Literature Questions

another poem

hey I wrote another poem, and it isn’t really that dark.

I have a secret; does he too? The sweet boy I thought I knew? I always imagine him & I, If he does too, my heart will fly. He ran away and broke my heart, And I can’t stand that we’re apart. He wanted to mend my heart with tape, But both of us knew that it was too late.

Feel free to put in any comment that you like!!

Cheerful0292

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

My name is Phoenix Kianne Dance. I am 12 years of age and had a poem published when I was 10 years old.

I think that your poem is great. Try to develop the rhythm of a song and listen to the beat flowing through the melody. Try to sing this poem. See how you like it when it’s in song form. Always remember: who is this poem based on? Include him fully. When you say, ‘he’, you do not specify who ‘he’ is. Is he your boyfriend? A friend? A lover?

Show the depth of emotion in all of your work. It’s a lovely piece and I hope you continue to write more. Here’s a small song I wrote when I was eight.

I know, Sometimes you leave home for too long, I know, Sometimes you feel like you don’t belong, I know, This happens when you’re searching your heart, But know, That this sometimes drives you apart.

Hey, Just remember, That even with your dreams unfurled, Just remember, That even when you’re free to roam the world, Just remember, That I’m here all alone, Just remember that no matter where you are… There’s no place like home.

Answer #2

wow you are really good at this, I wist I could writ like you can

but yeah it good

Answer #3

that’s a really kewl poem. I got one published when I was eight. It made old ladies cry. :)

Cheerful0292

Answer #4

its realy cute. good job

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Poems Please

Literature, Arts & Humanities, Education

Advisor

Diamond Nail Supplies

Nail Supplies, Beauty Essentials, Salon Equipment

Advisor

Shopnobilap

Literature, Online Publishing, Community

Advisor

Silverhints

Poetry, Shayari, Ghazal