Why would my sister in law be so horrible to me?

The most recent thing my sister in law did to me has hurt me beyond repair; she literally went to such extreme efforts to hurt and exclude me that I had no idea how horrible she really is until now and I don't know how to handle it. She has always had an issue with me although not even mutual friends or family members know why. She would get jealous and hateful towards me and my husband’s entire family when someone else was in the spotlight. We assumed it was just jealousy so we went above and beyond to make her a part of whatever was going on. Even on my birthday everyone went out hours late because she had a head ache and didn't want to be alone. It was slightly aggravating but I didn’t really care as long as everyone still had fun. Even at eight months pregnant now she refuses to think of anyone else's well being. She brings her 180 pound Great Dane and her her 110 pound mixed breeds dog with her to my mother and father in laws house for family events. They’re huge dogs and not well behaved. Previously in the pregnancy they knocked me over and almost trampled me. I would have been really injured had my husband not pulled them off me. I no longer can visit her home due to this but she has not even enough respect to not bring these dogs to other peoples homes when I'll be there. She says “they’ll be fine she’ll get over it”. But now much worse than anything past I feel she’s hit an ultimate low. After announcing our marriage her behavior became unfathomable. To make the family at piece again we created her a part in our wedding. It was small wedding out of town with only immediate family so no bridal party or groomsman however we made her the presenter of the rings and our pastor mistakenly even referred to her as the maid of honor! As if! She was ecstatic and it worked with making piece within the family again. We had a large reception once returning home and had the DJ introduce her and her now fiancé as well as seat them at the head table with my husband and myself. Now just a few short months later she is engaged and having a HUGE church wedding with a huge bridal party. Her cousin, friends from high school, EVERYONE is in it. Everyone but me. My husband is in it and is walking his cousin or one of her friends down the aisle instead of his wife, the mother of her nephew, and her sister in law. I’m not sitting at the head table nor am I being introduced by the DJ. I will literally be at a table by myself other than my infant son. She is nearly 26 too so it’s not as if she’s a teenager unaware of what this could do long term to our relationship. How do I deal with someone like this? What do I do and how do I act around the family when she’s there? My husband can only do or say so much without his family turning on him so any advice would help. Thank you.

7 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 7

Thank you to everyone who posted a response I appreciate the input. My husband actually took the reins full force after hearing more from me about how she was making me feel and after seeing how she treated me on Christmas yesterday a light bulb went off! Today he had a full blown confrontation on both our behalfs and wow to say the least. She admitted to not liking me and our and her own wedding was just the start of it. Our baby boy will be the first grand child and she can't stand it. Over the past two or more years her what must be as you all said jealousy turned from that to resentment. I don't harbor resentment and hated because it's worthless but she hasn't obviously realized that yet. She doesn't see me as part of the family, and she may never but fortunately. My mother and father in law do so after they to saw the danger of the dogs yesterday and said never again when I'll be there pregnant or after the baby comes. (Unless she ignores there wishes to). Now she'll blame me for their fight but our relationship was too hurt now anyways but at least now I know and there isn't this underlying taboo to talk about stuff like before plus everyone sees she really has been treating me less than human part of the time! I mean I actually had to eat Christmas dinner by myself because she refused to put her muts away! My husband joined me though luckily and seeing even a flicker of a tear in my eyes was enough for him to have had enough. He didn't address it until today though of course because of Christmas but boy did she show her true colors! If anyone has other thoughts please post them reading your posts has really helped! Thanks again


ANSWER #2 of 7

She is deffo jelous of you

when your both together on your own talk to her and ask her if she likes you and tell her you think she is being really not fair with you

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ANSWER #3 of 7

She may be jelous that her brother was meried before her and is taking her anger out at you. I wouldnt understand why she would let her dpg run over you. That is just plain abuse. Tell her about your issues and how you dont like the way she treats you. All I can say I standing up for yourself.

Best of luck to you and your sister in law,

Jackie

mother-in-law and the sister-in-law
ANSWER #4 of 7

lay down the law with her by confronting her about the issues you are having with her amd convince your husband to be on your side.

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ANSWER #5 of 7

maybe she's jealous of you. yes definatley talk to her about it but be careful about what you say

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ANSWER #6 of 7

Thats good what your husband did...stand by you...sister in laws are always get jealous because they lost they brother's attention.

I really dont understand why sister in law are what you so called BITCH. Sorry for the language but yeah the best thing that you can do is making sure that your husband always by your side. Make sure that what ever happening between you and her sister tell him all the time.and let him confront your sister in law from hell. Next time when Christmas come again prepare your own Christmas dinner in your own home. Let your in-laws to come over rather than you come over to their house. Always remind your husband that family is a family but YOU and your SON now is his family.Make yourself strong dont let her ruin your good relationship with your hubby.Let her suffer a heart attack for hating you.......

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ANSWER #7 of 7

I just googled mean sister in laws and your post came up.
I need your advise now. My sister in law and I were really good friends once upon a time.
THEN all of a sudden she stopped talking to me. I was living out of town for awhile with my husband then we moved back, so its not like i had a chance to do anything to her to deserve her cold shoulder... and now its like I have done something to her. She was engaged to my husband's brother then they got married in a destination wedding where just my husband's other brother and my in laws were invited. Mind you my husband and I were the only ones NOT invited to the wedding.
That being said, every time she and i are at the same place she barely looks at me, when I try to be cordial (im at the end of my rope with her) I try to ask things about her upcoming blow-out wedding reception she doesnt speak to me. doesnt answer back. however she laughs louder, harder, and only looks at my husband if he or i are talking. My husband noticed this too so its not like im neurotic or jealous. its just petty things she does so I would feel petty if i ever said anything to her.
I just dont know where to go from here b/c she doesnt acknowledge my presence but is so over the top happy in front of my inlaws and im guessing its to overcompensate and distract everyone from how she treats me. My other brother in law and my husbands cousin have both mentioned that they notice how she treats me. help. im loosing my mind over this!!!!

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