Why Can't My Man Cum?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a couple months. And have been having sex for 11 months. But I have not seen any actual cum come out his penis except for a lil bit of precum. Hes only 19 and says its cause hes been having sex a lot in the past. I have read info on the computer but of course it doesn’t help at all. I have to admit that I do tell him I want to have his baby now. We are in a long distance relationship but we see each other either evry weekend or every other. I talk to him every day except when he on the job and even then he calls to check up on me. I know hes not cheating (at lease thats what I believe). I also know I have some good stuff, if you know what I mean. So why cant he cum?

Answer #1

He may go to a doctor. Maybe somethings wrong with “down there”. But maybe it’s this.. for me and my man we would do it for a while and he wouldn’t cum. He thought something was wrong with him. That’s not the case. Given more time, you have to let him find the right place. Where it hurts the most and feels the greatest. He’ll feel pressure and there the trigger goes.

Answer #2

There is a variaty of reasons, it could be something medical and he should see a doctor.

Answer #3

for the first question my man couldnt come because he was on pain medication so if he takes meds for something even ADD or ADHD or anything to relax him maybe even other drugs not sayingthat he does them I just know thats why he couldnt when he stoped he started

Answer #4

I’m 18 and I had sex with my ex three times (Including my 1st time) and I havent cum once!! I just thought it was because im still small or immature or new to sex and that it will change. But now you guys have me worried :| P:S I cum just fine when masturbating

Answer #5

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two months and he cannot cum during sex. It doesn’t bother me too much, because in the past my partners have usually been done before I was, and with him we could go all night if I wanted to. After he’s pleased me he masturbates and everything works out fine. Ladies, if you are worried about not being able to get pregnant, tell him to masturbate and finish off inside of you. I’m sure that will work just fine with him, even if he has to practice for a while. Also, he told me that he actually feels more if I’m on top and I go very slowly, so maybe given enough time and practice it will work out. Just keep in mind that it is NOT your fault that he’s not sensitive or he has a routine built. Don’t push him or talk about it before sex because it will make him nervous or upset and then he will never be able to cum inside you. With enough patience and understanding you can be perfect together anyway.

Answer #6

WOw I have the same problem. But my boyfriend ha came with me 3 time and for two month sex everday twice a day if not more. I felt a if it was me. He reassured me always had this problem. He says it feels good and avadently it doe when half the time hes grabbing me and starting sex. I sometimes think its cause he afraid of getting me pregnant. We both agreed we dont want kids right now we want to be married for a couple years before we have kids. We are inlove. sex is amazing I just feel bad when I have an orgasum more then he does.

Answer #7


Answer #8

I simply can’t come during sex I have been married for four years and my wife seems to have no idea or at least is unconcerned I don’t want children ever so maybe its a good thing but it really sucks that I have never blown a load in, on or near a woman I had an ex girl friend who said I was probably gay and not really into women so it was anxiety I think however she was just trying to be cruel because she could not make me cum, me and my wife have never talked about it and I honestly think she has just not noticed or simply does not care as long as I am pleasing her, we have talked about kids though and she wants a lot of them, whereas I don’t want any, I don’t know how to bring it up to her without hurting her feelings as she believes she is really good at sex and thinks she can get me off whenever I really don’t know how she has not noticed for this long but I feel I may end up simply hurting her and my marriage if I say anything however. I really want to have good sex and be able to finish and I do love my wife but I have noticed that our sex life is beginning to wane and mostly on my part I find more and more I make up excuses to not be intimate but it really seems one sided I do all the work she comes and I get nothing what is the point other than I love my wife and want her to be happy but isn’t mutual happiness and satisfaction just as important?

Answer #9

Maybe you guys are rushing the sex, Take you time and do a little four play. Have some oral sex then go for the explosive sex . For some men as myself it has to be exciting for us to cum. Hope this helps some.

Answer #10

I feel that most of you are too young to understand some of the difficulty here. Many if not most men don’t cum the first several times they have sex because they are nervous, but also because their bodies are adjusting to this new sensation. It requires being comfortable and unpressured by one’s partner. If after months of sex, he still can’t cum, there are probably intimacy issues, or he’s not mature enough to be having sex (trusting his partner with his sexual release)–it’s not a function of age some men take many decades to reach that level of maturity.

Answer #11

I have not been able to finish for many years. When I was married now divorced over 24 years , I was able to very easily. I have had a vissectomy (spelling bad), and I think that might have had a problem. But I also don’t sleep well either. And I think that might have a bit to do with it. I have had many lady friends over the years and it’s all the same, I can’t finish. It may be tiredness, or stress, or something. I believe there are many of us out there that can’t finish and it has nothing to do with the mate he is with. Be thinkful he can still get it up as many men can’t. If he says he still get pleasure even when he can’t finish, then trust him when he says it. I still enjoy pleasing her and I do get pleasure from it as well.

Answer #12

This happened to me last night but im sure its happened more hes been hiding it from me well I couldnt really tell at first but then last night im like thats all just me,I feel like its m fault or im not good enough for him:( But we did it again in the morning and everything was fine so I don’t know maby hes just tired from work sometimes or sex is overrated maby,well weve been thru a lot and I’ve been feeling no connection to him lately and no sexual chemistry even thou hes hard and all like empty towards him maby we just are not compatible cause I felt sexual fireworks with my ex all the time then with him its like dead almost like you could hear a cricket chirp between us and its kind of akward

Answer #13

I dont know what to do my boyfriend has not cum in 4 years he said it is not me but sometimes I think it is know I cant keep him hard.I know that his age is not helping us he is 51 and I am 38.this has caused such a problem for me that we split for 2 months I wanted to see if it was me but found out it was not. I missed him so much we are back toughter but I still dont know what to do about the problem. any one have any ideas please help…

Answer #14

I had the same problem and was able to get an eventual solution…I have had sex a few time but only cum and quiet regulalry now with my girlfriend… -I figured meaningless sex does not turn me on and hence trouble coming with random new partners…

  • and overdose of porn and masterbation numbs your senses.
  • so when I started seeing my girlfriend I stashed away the porn and cut down on masterbation…
  • now she complains that sex was better earlier when did it countinuosly for hours…women…u just cant satisfy them
Answer #15

I have a Qs My Fiancee I am his first he lost virginity too. and we have had a lot of sex but one Qs If he would watch porns or something would it help him to cum in me? Or What Should he do to make his self cum. As we all have sex Masterbation helps which hes done quite a bit of that. And Im good at giving him a huge hard on but He hates it when he feels that hes ready to cum then it goes away.. So What do you think we should do we do a lot of Role playing and all that kissing and soft touch that turns eachother on then I let him controll me in bed so ( That way he can controll how hes getting turned on..I am completly statified He just wanted to know what can he do to get himself off other then Masterbation? I tell him to close his eyes Think of things that really turn him on moan. do whatever It will work. So any suggestion? Thanks for whom who answers

Answer #16

either he has probalems, or you dontt give him enough pleasure

Answer #17

im 17 and my boyfriend and I have been having sex for the past couple of months and hes the first boy who can’t cum with me. I got told that it may be nerves and that I have to ‘arouse his mind’ by talking dirty and such, but so far nothing. apparently he needs to relax with a bit of alcohol or something but what I want to suggest is that he doesnt help himself for a while until he’s despo for it and then maybe he’ll find it easier. I’m yet to find out..

Answer #18

wow I cant believe this actually happens to guys. I’m a girl and I cant cum during sex, just oral sex. If anyone knows any suggestions for me please help. Also I agree with thinking of something that turns you on while having sex or dirty talk with your girl to be more aroused, that will probably make guys cum.

Answer #19

This reminds me of a past relationship where we only saw eachother weekends and I eventualy noticed that my partner never came. I ended up asking him about it and he then admitted that he had never cum with any of his partners. I was flaberghasted. He admitted that he was able to cum while masturbating but not with a partner. I also found out that he had to have an adult circumcision because of a medical problem therefore causing much of his sensitivity to dissapear. I finaly found some information about men who do not cum and it actualy is a problem that can be treated. It seems that it possibly can be a psychological problem that can stem from a conservative upbringing or an unhealty attitude towards sex and masturbation especialy at a young age. Of course if he had any type of problem with his penis like my ex-boyfriend had, this also would have to be adressed. I suggest to talk to him about it and ask him questions like I did mine. Has he ever cum with a partner? When was he circumcised? Find out how he feels about this problem and what he needs from you to get over it. I ended up confronting my boyfriend about the problem and giving him information about it so he would know that it ws possible to cure it. I was even ready to go see a psychologist with him. He ended up admitting that he did eventualy want to have kids and that this was very hard on him. Unfortunetly, he was not ready to confront the problem and we ended the relationship for a variety of reasons including my sexual frustration at not being able to make him cum (need I say one starts to feel inadequate even if it’s far from the truth). If you want to work this out, you’ll have to speak up and try different stuff together like just masturbating. But in the end, he has to want to adress this problem and work on it with you. Good luck!

Answer #20

Whoa. I want to congratulate ollopa on that excellent answer. I’m definitely going to try his advice later. For me, four, five hours+ of the act without climaxing is a bit annoying. It’s amazing exercise, don’t get me wrong, and I love mostly every minute of it, and I love how she loves it, but wow. Glad to see I’m not the only one.

Answer #21

Wow! I Have the same problem, I’m in a relationship with a wonderful woman, we are both 26, she is very sweet, cute, and affectionate, we can talk for hours, we are both college graduates, we both have great career’s. We click on every level, but in the bedroom she is inexperienced. She has had horrible experiences with ex-boyfriends who she said criticized and poked fun at her about not being able to perform well in bed, I don’t do this but when I just try to talk to her about it, just give her some instruction on how to get me off, she gets embarrassed and starts crying, and tells me stuff like, “I’m just never going to satisfy you, so why don’t you just leave me and find someone who can!” It really hurt’s because I love her so much, and It pisses me off at the same time, that she is so hung up on how her ex’s treated her that she won’t talk to me about it and try to work on it. So I’m stuck in a situation that I’m afraid might drive me away from her, I’m Damned if I do Damned if I don’t.

Answer #22

It’s probably just performance anxiety.

You can help him by combining masurbaion with intercourse. Alternate between the two, and he should be alright.

Ask him to tell you all about his dirtiest fantasy while he’s sexing you - that should help too.

Answer #23

I have to agree with some of the others; too much porn and too much masterbation. Everytime I come home early from work my boyfriend has his pants off and a video on. It NEVER fails! Then when I want sex he normally always tells me no and if we do he never cums with me. He always has an excuse for it. I’m tired of it.

Answer #24

if he can cum whle masturbating just let him masterbate then while cum is coming out have sex it might get you pregnat

Answer #25

THANK GOD!!! I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!! that happened to me and as crazy as this sounds one time I just scratched my nails all the way up and SPLAT so uh yeah you might want to try that :P

Answer #26

i have the exact same problem with my boyfriend of a year and a half. we’ve been having sex atleast twice a week for over a year and he cant come. We both are young (21 and 22) and lost our virginity to each other so we havent experienced anyone else sexually. i feel really bad, like maybe i’m doing something wrong,and even suggested that he sleep with another girl to really find out if it is me. he refused. We’ve been going to a sex therepist for the past 6 months but it doesnt seem to help. we’ve looked at his fear of children, the masturbation theory, attraction towards me, etc. and cant find a reason why this isnt happening. it’s VERY frustrating because this upsets him so much and all i want is for him to be happy.

Answer #27

very simple, he may have low sperm count, or hiz testicules arnt producing as much as they should and hiz body may be keeping the sperm so that he dozznt bcum steril (caint have babys or cannot produce sperm)

Answer #28

maybe he’s strested ?

Answer #29

You gotta be able to trust your guy to not masturbate. Me and my boyfriend don’t masturbate anymore and it provides a better experience for the both of us. Now my boyfriend has cummed, yes, but it took foreevveerrr. Its because he would masturbate around 2-3 a day to porn. It still takes a while, but its much better than it was. plus, not masturbating is a good idea. It makes a better orgasm for the girl as well. ;)

Answer #30

I’ve had sex 5 times and I’m 17 and I’ve found that I CAN cum after around 10-15 minutes the first time. The problem though is…that If I solidly keep going I want to cum after like 2 minutes of solidly going. So I pull out and finger her for a few minutes. But I have this problem somewhat too with my current girlfriend(We have had sex 3 times) And she says she feels she isnt pleasuring me enough seeing as she has an orgasm sooner than I do. However if He cant cum it can be good and bad, depending on if you want kids or not. But since he cant cum you two can keep going a lot longer seeing as all of a guy’s sexual drive seems to disappear after ejaculating. I doubt what I said helps but I hope so, Ethan(=

Answer #31

Geez lots of comments on this one, well I’m a male, and I have suffered from this problem for far too long, I enjoy sex, god know I do, but I just can’t seem to reach that final stage no matter what, only on my own can I cum. I’ve researched into this as I am worried and what I have fun is that it is called delayed ejaculation, or retarded ejaculation - which I dont like the sounds of if im honest, anyway this is more liekly to be a phsycological issue preventing him from cumming and with a sexual therapist can be helped, tho it doesnt cause problems persay it can when trying to conceive and for the man on my part atleast it is embarrassing and a shame try not to make a big deal out of it but suggest the therapy and see what happens

Answer #32

Has anyone tried “milking the prostate”? I dated an older guy & he would start to cum, but then it would only drip out. His doctor suggested that he try milking it and see if that would help. OMG did it ever. Every man should do it. Woman can even do it for them.

Answer #33

either he has a small penis or it cant shoot out hole with enough pressure

Answer #34

Hold on everybody. Orgasm happens when sexual pleasure becomes overwhelming, and even having orgasm as a goal makes it less likely. The pressure many of you have applied and endured would be sufficient to render orgasm impossible for almost anybody. Porn isn’t the problem, it is a safe way to have sex without pressure. At least if a man can get off through masturbation, you know there is nothing wrong with his equipment.

Stop worrying about why he doesn’t come and put your attention on increasing his pleasure during sex instead. If he enjoys it, you’re doing it right, whether he comes or not. This problem, like premature ejaculation, is an affliction of the ignorant.

Answer #35

ya pussy not gud

Answer #36

Hi, I’m a 28 year old male and I’d like to give my perspective on this issue. I, too, had trouble reaching climax when I first started having sex as a teenager. It was confusing to me because I never had trouble finishing when masturbating. Moreover, it was embarrassing. In retrospect, I think it was actually a very normal experience.

To the first-timers out there: Masturbation and sex with a partner are very different experiences. When you are masturbating, you are in full control of the experience and you have the benefit of instant feedback. If something happens to feel really good or not so good, you are instantly aware of this fact and you can adjust your technique accordingly. Your mind is also free to imagine whatever erotic fantasy it wants.

With a partner, however, things are different. Your partner doesn’t know what feels great to you at that very instant. Your partner might not be as tight as what you are used to–or in some cases maybe your partner is so tight that it hurts. If you’re using a condom, as every responsible young man should, the physical sensation of intercourse is much, much less than that of masturbation and it is likely less than you imagined.

For me, sex with a condom was a surprising lack of sensation. I could only begin to feel when the lubrication (both the natural and the bottled kind) wore off and the friction increased. This extra friction gripped and stretched the condom, allowing me to feel more sensation but ultimately breaking the condom as well. I’m sure other have had similar experiences–hours-long sex, pain and discomfort, broken condoms, unexpected surprises, feeling guilt, embarrassment, frustration… And I’m telling you it’s really not that abnormal.

People think of sex as physical but it is also very psychological. It takes time for the mind to adapt to the new experience and physical sensation of having sex with another person. It takes time to learn how to mentally latch on to a wave of physical pleasure and allow your body to climax. A vagina is typically not as tight as your hand. Lubrication is essential but it reduces friction and therefore reduces the sensation of rubbing. Condoms further reduce physical sensation. I think a lot of guys aren’t prepared for this and find that their first tries at sex are not quite what they imagined. I’m not saying that sex sucks–but when you imagine one thing and find reality to be another thing, it takes time to adjust.

My tips for first-timers are as follows:

  • Don’t assume you have a problem or are broken right away
  • Talk to your partner about these issues and come to an understanding with each other
  • Relax. Take the pressure off. Sex should be fun–you’re not a failure if you don’t cum.
  • Experiment and try to find things that feel good. Imagine things that turn you on (just don’t ever admit to thinking of another girl :P)
  • Practice by masturbating with a condom and lube until it doesn’t feel like “showering with a raincoat on”
  • Kiss, touch, caress, etc. Remember to stimulate parts of your body OTHER than just your “digit.” It’s half the fun of sex.
  • If your partner is quiet, ask him/her to breathe heavy and/or make other stimulating noises
  • Try putting a little bit of lube on the inside tip of the condom before rolling it on. That can help it feel a little better right around your sensitive part.
  • If you start to lose sensation / go a little numb, then just take a break. Don’t try to force yourself to the end because it is frustrating, counter-productive, possibly painful, and can lead to performance anxiety. You can just take a 15 minute rest, get some fresh blood in your member, and try again (as long as your partner is still willing).

Once you get used to the new and different sensation of doing it with another person, you should find it easier and easier to cum. Your mind knows what it’s getting into and what to expect.

Now I have to respond to those people who said that they think porn and masturbation lead to desensitization and sexual dysfunction. ahem F#!@ YOU! Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy. There’s an overwhelming consensus on this and I don’t need to back up my claims. Go to your nearest family planning clinic and ask a doctor if you don’t believe me. Now as for porn: It’s not the porn that twists people–it’s just that some twisted people mix their porn viewing experiences in with their distorted view of reality. There are more sexually healthy men viewing porn than there are sexually unhealthy porn viewers. Sex is a natural thing. Men are visually stimulated. Weather or not porn screws up your life is based on your cultural background and a pre-existing susceptibility to mental illness. Just because your boyfriend has a big porn collection doesn’t mean that he is addicted to porn. Maybe he’s addicted, but it’s more likely that he simply has a healthy interest in sex. Women: Don’t be so insecure and threatened by your guy’s pr0n.

And now some free advice to the ladies: Ladies, ladies, ladies… Some of you think that you have men all figured out: We’re an on/off switch whereas you women are as complicated as an airplane cockpit. Let me tell you the truth: Men are sexually simpler than women but we’re not that simple. We men are used to sexual rejection and we handle the “Honey, I have a headache” routine fairly well. Women, on the other hand, don’t usually handle rejection or criticism very well. We guys know this and if we would like to have sex with you again in the future then we don’t answer honestly when you ask us “How was THAT!?” No, no, instead we say “That was great, it was the best–You’re the best!”

Truth is, IMHO, most of you underestimate male sexuality, overestimate your sexual technique, and could use some instruction or improvement. The fact that every guy you have ever slept with said you were great and that cum came out of his penis does not, in fact, mean that you ARE great. Men are not one-size-fits-all. Your last boyfriend may have loved your bj technique but the next one may not like it at all. Some guys will tell you what they want but a lot are too shy to tell you how you could be better. You may be the cutest or the hottest girl on the planet, but that doesn’t mean that you can just lay there like a dead fish during sex. Good looks do not equal good sex. If you really want your guy to have the best possible experience in bed, then don’t assume that you are already a sex master or that your techniques are going to be a perfect match for your current guy. Communicate with your partner. Ask him questions (harder? softer? faster? slower? ). Don’t ask the generic “Is this OK?” or “Do you like it like this?” He’ll probably just say “yes” weather it’s true or not. TELL him what you want: Cum on my ‘xyz’, do me harder, lick my whatever Get the picture? Direction is sexier than making him “guess”

Guys are turned on by different things than women. Your fantasy is not his. “Sweet, sexy, and romantic” might not push his buttons. Personally, and I think a lot of men are like this, I like to have a lot of control during sex. I don’t know if I’d respond well to the bathtub sex-ambush posted above. It sounds like a woman’s idea of romance rather than a man’s carnal fantasy. I’m sure that some men will disagree with me about this, and that’s why it is important to communicate and know your partner well. Here’s how I’d ambush myself if I were simultaneously a woman: First I’d just greet myself after work like usual. Maybe he to pee really bad or something–he just got home so he might not be in the mood for sex yet. So step one is to get him aroused and interested like usual, but then I’d tell him to wait because I have a surprise for him in the bedroom. I’ll call him when I’m ready–and he’s better keep his member ready too, if he knows what I mean wink. Then I’d go in the bedroom, undress, and wear a sign around my neck that says “SLUT – One dollar / one time” and hold a little dish full of coins. Then call him in and invite him to use me. His way: his terms. His dollar buys him the right to play: he doesn’t have to make slut girl cum if he doesn’t want to.

So back to the point (men and women): Any time you have sex with a new partner, you both have to discover all over again what works best for each other. It’s important to know what you like and communicate that to your partner. What worked for your last partner might not work at all with the new one. Don’t be sexually arrogant. All prisoners are innocent and everybody is great in bed… Invariably, if you have sex with the same person 100 times, the first times will not be the best. It’s only after you’ve figured each other out that it gets really good (and “good,” guys, means for both of you. Not just for yourself).

Answer #37

I am a 40 year old man and after reading through this post I cant help but find the comments by many of the women to be very simplistic. Firstly, just as all women are different, all men are different. A great many women cannot reach orgasm through vaginal sex. However, the books and professionals out there all tell women that this is perfectly fine and to look at alternate ways to reach orgasm (oral, manual, anal stimulation, etc.) So why is it that if a man takes a long time to cum through vaginal sex women ask whats wrong with him? Theres nothing wrong with him and if you plan to be with him for an extended period, find ways that you both enjoy sex and dont worry too much about one aspect of sex. Personally Ive always taken a long time to cum. Even as a teenager I needed more than an hour to cum and as Ive aged, it usually takes a minimum of 2-3 hours and yes there are times when I do not cum. If your goal is not to get pregnant and he is happy with your lovemaking even when he doesnt cum, dont worry about it. Id guess that pretty much every woman has had sex at least once without reaching climax. But that doesnt mean she didnt enjoy the sex. Maybe you should consider the “your turn, my turn” approach in which one of you helps the other reach orgasm and then trade. He may be able to cum more easily by hand and/or mouth and dont forget to add in flavored lubricants and other fun things. One of my past girlfriends was very happy with our sex life but when she had had enough for the night and I hadnt yet cum, she would let me know and I would finish myself by hand. She enjoyed my masturbating myself while I was between her legs so that the back of my knuckles stimulated her while I finished. Im engaged now and my fiancée and I are interested in having a baby so we discussed it and decided that even when I finish by means other than vaginal sex, I let her know when Im about to cum, with a countdown from 10, so that I can enter her as I cum. One thing that we have found is that after an hour or two of sex it helps me to cum more easily if we take a break for 15-20 minutes before continuing. This works because after an hour or more of sex, the penis can start to go numb. A short break changes that and it can be very sensitive after the break. In conclusion, if youre both enjoying sex and dont plan to get pregnant right now, just enjoy the sex, try alternate activities other than vaginal sex and by all means let him know that he can finish with his own hand when youre done for the night. You can still play a nice role by stimulating him while he finishes. If youve decided to have a baby, maybe you have to be more technical about it and just let him masturbate until hes ready to cum. If as some of the ladies have written, he needs porn to cum, put on some porn. If my fiancée had told me she wanted to have sex daily to have a better chance of getting pregnant, I would have told her that the only way for me to do that would be by my own hand. Daily sex of 3+ hours just isnt practical or desirable and there would definitely be lots of days that I wouldnt be able to cum on a schedule like that. I hope this give the ladies a different point of view to consider.

Answer #38

SOOO GOOOD IM NOT ALONE! You know I started with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago, we have had sex 3 times, and I haven’t been able to cum. Before starting the relationship with her, I had never had sex before, and I masturbated and all the deal, and I would cum, but during the sexual intercourse I can’t. We go at it for long whiles, or what I think is long (1 hour+) and I feel the sensation of cumming but nothing comes out. I think this happens because everytime we have sex the condoms break, so on top of me being a little nervous to begin with, that puts more strain on me. Then after some time she just kinda gives up, because she’s trying to make me cum, and she feels bad. Then that makes me feel bad for not CUMMING. So any suggestions besides the ones posted above?

Answer #39

I dont think my situation is the same as everyone elses, I mean because I am able to finish during intercourse,its just that my girlfriend and I have been having sex a lot lately and the feeling has sorta worn down so im not able to finish anymore,I mean I can it just takes TOO long and my girlfriend cant handle it she says that she finishedd a while ago and it starts to feel bad for her, should we just take a break from sex,because im woried that the good feeling I used to have during sex is slowly fading

Answer #40

okayyy you all are weird, if your boyfriends cant come. then maybe you guys mad eyour way around town too much and your loose, or they just dont like you. my god get off the comp and go try to make them cum at least…lol wow

Answer #41

its him tlk 2 him about it an mayb you an him should come to a conclusion a doctor may b able 2 help you 2

Answer #42

Zorbot, I’m a male, and I’ve had sex just 3 times with my girlfriend (she was my first, so 3 times total). I can tell you, my girlfriend already feels not good enough and has told me this, because of my inability to cum when I’m with her. First two times, I hadn’t slept in 4 days, so that was probably why..also fear, and other things as at the time I was somewhat homeless. So I asked myself, why can’t I cum? I found my answer… I can cum when masturbating on my own fine, just not with my girlfriend at all. I get close, but can’t finish, and YES I want to have a baby with my girlfriend and I’ve told her that I’m scared and worried because I can’t cum. So what’s my problem? Masturbation!!! PORN!!! From a young age, I’ve been masturbating every day, for over 11 years (I’m 23), and use porn movies/clips as a method to stimulate me as well. This is a psychological problem, and I enjoy sex with her so much, even though I can’t cum. No one should feel inadequate because of anothers sexual problem. If you love the person you’re with, the relationship won’t end because of any sexual reason, and vice versa. Fact remains that I feel so good when I have sex, and I am satisfied completely, except, I want to cum inside her so she can get pregnant. Some men can’t cum, some can, but for those who get hard and stay hard, it means they enjoy it!! don’t feel bad if they don’t cum, because I sure feel bad that my girlfriend feels bad that she can’t make me cum, and I try to tell her how good it feels. I hope to make her feel good in future, so she won’t have to worry about making me feel good. Why? I already feel good…she does enough already, and maybe I will be able to let myself go and feel truly safe.

Answer #43

im a guy and ya I got this problem…juts yesterday and the day before my girlfriend tried to make me cum and she says she wants me to fell good and I really do but I just cant cum we tried for 2 days and nope my duck just got tired or something she my first and she did it with only one other guy before me and he did cum like real fast aparrently…I used to watch a lot of porn before my first time…maybe its the answer but I just read in another site that if you drink a lot of water before sex you cum more…but neway the thing is this after coming coming back home I didnt know why I wasnt cumming so I want masturbating without porn or anithing and it took me like 30minutes to cum …and usualy with porn it tok me like less than 5 minutes …also I read somewhere ( this might sound weird ) when you have your cellphone in your pocket on “vibrate” theres some kind of pulses that eliminate your sperm wich might cause problem…I know its weird but it might be true…neway me too I feel better that im not the only guy that doesnt cum…and just to clear this up I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND im young but I want to spend my life with her and I’ve been waiting 4 year…a bit pathetic but ya and shes attracts me sexualy and physicly and emotionly…so ya its not because I dont love her or she isnt doing a good job SHE IS GREAT…even though she needs time after 15 mins to relax…so I hope I helped you guys

Answer #44

Well some good answers here. Anyway this started happening to me like a month or so (I am 32), while masturbating. I think it has a lot to do with your hormones also. I lost a lot of weight in 2 months, while completely changing my food intake (very “dry” non fat & sugar stuff) and started excercising heavily. Doctor said that such sudden change of regime completely threw me out of balance on hormones level. It was strange not to cum for me - I used to have fantastic sex with my ex; sometimes even 3-5 times per day. So I dont know what it was exactly; perhaps my hormones, perhaps the fact that I remmembered our reletionship exactly at the moment I was doing my thing and I got sad about it... Anyway I found it like I lost my "sex compass" about when to play and how to have fun, because I now often loose the interest or rather fantasies dont arrouse me that much anymore and that really disturbes me + as some of you mentioned you really can`t force yourself as much as you would like to. Went to the doctor to get my blodwork chacked and body chemistry so I am waiting now to see if it is also Physical or just mental block I created in my head. What I belive is that only being with someone that truly makes you feel “free” and you can talk and play with can “melt” such problems (if only mental). We guys have a lot of presure on us from early age like how to be “real man” and macho. Scoring girls, spreading seed… but sometimes we also want just to feel love, trust, share our emotional problems, fears… I was always the happiest person in the world (and satisfied :) when I was able to share myself like that with the person I loved.

Answer #45

Maybe he is masturbating this is a normal thing for guys sex or no sex. This would limit the semen out put. Not sure if it would make it so no cum comes out every time but it would be a lot less if he is doing it a lot 2 – 3 times a day. If he is willing have him stop everything for 72 hours and if you still get no cum then I would have him see a doctor. Good Luck

Answer #46

you guysss are loosersss get a life! maybe your men just dont like you becaus eyour looose

Answer #47

lol are you serious ? @can’t come?

Answer #48

lol omg @yall can’t cum? c’mon reallY?

Answer #49

I have been with my man for 11 months and I am 23 and he is 32 years. Our sex life was great. We only have intercourse one day in a week as we do not stay together. But in the last three weeks he could not cum? I have asked him what the problem is and he says he thinks it is stress. I always wonder is he cheating on me? I mean we only sleep together one day in a week and the only time we are together, he cant cum. I think there is more to this

Answer #50

I’ve had this problem every once in a while. its generally been for one of the following reasons. sometimes, I felt I was cumming too early. I would adjust pressure/speed and the feeling would pass, but then I wouldn’t cum the rest of the encounter. other times, it is because of a masturbation habit where your masturbation technique feels nothing even close to an actual vagina/mouth/anus so I would get close but not finish. and as you get older (this even happens in your late 20’s, its not a 40+ thing), penile bloodflow decreases. this is a precursor to erectile dysfunction. my doctor explained to me that as bloodflow decreases, one of the first things to go is sensitivity. she said that even though you may have no trouble maintaining an erection, the reduced bloodflow can cause a lessened sensitivity requiring more intense stimulation to reach orgasm. recommendations: learn to control your ejaculation so you don’t have to worry about being premature (do your PC exercises!). if you are going to masturbate frequently, do so in a manner that better simulates a female orifice and reduce your self-stimulation. get your penis used to less sensation. and if the problem is blood flow, your doctor can prescribe viagra/cialis/etc. you probably only need the low dose (25 mg). if your insurance doesn’t cover it, you can get the generic for a lot less if shop around to a reputable online pharmacy.

Answer #51

Well if you only see him every weekend or every other weekend , really thats not much sex. an really you’ve been together for a few months and your already telling him you want his babies?he might be scared to cum cause of that.My boyfriend and I have sex a lot.I can get him to cum twice a day sometimes aha.

Answer #52

It’s annoying aye. I was in the same boat as you all. My partner, age 20, had three sexual partners before me, all were very breif, and no matter who he was with he couldnt come (he was always protected which was great, though some guys fiond it so much harder to come using a condom) our frist time together really annoyed me because he wouldnt come, we went for hours and NOTHING, it was really degrading!!! but after the second or so time he all of a sudden started cuming! it was really weird, and never EVER a small amount. He seems to think its because he is comfortable with me, and is relaxed (I’ve also heard himself say he tells himself to cum for my sake) I wish I could help you all. it is frustrating, and shouldnt be!…oh and thank goodness my partner now comes,…because he will NOT masterbate lol

Answer #53

I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and he didnt cum! is it me?? I thinking its me, I didnt cum!!:( I could tell he was upset.

Answer #54

I can give a very definite answer as I have faced the same problem. Try bondage methods – tie your hands at the back so that your effort to mount and enter is maximum, try to enter from the posterior, so that your member is fully enveloped within her buttocks maximizing the stimulation. Since you enter from the back the penetration will be very little compared to what you have from the front. But that does not matter. Find ways to make penetration difficult, the more difficult it is – the more there is the chance of success. Continue your strokes into her like mad and she should moan and groan to enthuse you. Do not stop till you feel something burst in you and your cum will flood her.

Answer #55

If could be the way he masturbates. If a guy masturbates certain ways it can desensitize them so they can’t cum during sex, only doing it the way their used to. For everyone here, tell them to stop masturbating for 2 weeks and then try sex, it might help. =)

Answer #56

well if it is his frist time haveing sex it is called “blue balls” whoch means his testicals are not able to completely force the cum out it normaly only last for the first couple mounths and I only know this because I am in EMS class

Answer #57

Same thing happens with my boyfried and I. It was very frustrating due to the fact that we want to have a baby. In this case he does have an orgasm but nothing comes out. I brought him to the doctor and it was diagnosed as “Retrograde Ejaculation” where basically when they cum the sperm shoots the opposite way into there bladder instead and is expelled the next time they go to the washroom. (most of the time you can’t even tell) He is on meds now (they contain the same kinda stuff as cold medecines) and that should fix things shortly. So if you’re worried about this you should take him to the doctor he may have this especially if he is a diabetic like my guy, it is highly likely. Hope this helps someone.

Answer #58

I recently started dating a guy who I too find can not cum while having sex with me…Like mrmadcat said he claims he is satisfied just can’t cum! ;-( I of course feel it is me - But we have talked about it and he says he believes he is too stressed and needs to “NOT THINK” – which to me makes sense. I have a phd in psychology and yes they do say tooo much porn can desensitive men to sex - So I am curious have any of you tried sexual fantasies? I have thought about watching porn with my boyfriend and or having him come home to me in the tub with wine and strawberries…thought about playing out a fantasy and ordering him into bedroom after we share a bubble bath then blind fold him and tie him up while I pleasure him orally.. you get the idea of my fantasy -curious- have any of you tried fantasies??? Just curious if keeping him in suspense of the fantasy and you taking his mind somewhere else - if that helps any of your boyfriends???

Answer #59

lol. wow. and I thought I was alone. I had always been told I was the horniest woman ever. no kidding. then this guy I dated. he couldnt … I was like what/ he always went on and on how sexy I was but every time he went flat. he would tell me he I was a godess and so sexy and good . then he couldnt . wow. I thougth it was me! then he made a confession . said his wife woudlnt let him sleep with her for their whole entire marriage unless she wanted to have a baby because he had that problem. well duh. why didnt he just tell me that upfront/

Answer #60

hunny..he is DEFINITELY cheatinq..because if yhu don’t see him cum..it’s because he’s already cumminq with someone else..when men don’t have sex for 5 days (yhu said yhu only see each other on tha weekends) yhu can definitely tell when they cum..yhu can see it..but also he probably beats his meat a lot..but hey I’m only sayinq

Answer #61

Because you are not attractive

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