Why are teenagers not being responsible?

I am so po’d with all of the questions I see on here regarding teens,sex, and pregnancy. You guys receive so much more information and materials than we did even 25 years ago. When I graduated hs in 1982, we had 1 girl who was pregnant who graduated with us. There were 500 graduates that year, 650 juniors, and 576 sophomores. Out of that entire school, one girl was pregnant!!! Back then, condoms weren’t free to us, we didn’t receive 1/3 of the information you guys are given now—and then, herpes was just beginning to rear its ugly little head. Hiv/aids wouldn’t hit the scene for 2 or 3 years. So, what I want to know is…with all of the information available to u, free condoms handed out at some schools thru the school nurse, the age where patient confidentiality of teens is dropping year by year (then, you had to have parents permission to be seen at planned parenthood until age 18!), Why do I see so much ignorance when it comes to sex and reproduction?? I actually saw a question when I first started visiting this site where a young girl asked if she could “get pregnant by swallowing sperm”, give me a break,, if you don’t know the answer to that then you shouldn’t be performing oral sex, much less having sex??!!! Why are so many young girls getting pregnant? do you guys realize that if your not responsible enough to use protection, then you are definitely not responsible enough to have sex. Doe anyone else out there have any comments on this? am I the only one who is just truly outraged by all the ignorance of sexual intercourse and the responsibilites that go along with it? if I see one more question stating their pregnant because they didn’t use protection and want to use the abortion pill or have an abortion I truly think I wil just scream! girls. Abortion is Not a form of birth control!! Anybody else?

Answer #1

That’s exactly what I’m talking about,,,the school gave you FREE condoms. How did you find out about these free condoms? Did you just walk in and ask if there was some place to get freebies, or was posted ALL OVER THE SCHOOL or taught in health class!? These kids are being taught the same thing as my daughter is being taught. My daughter is ADHD and if she can pay attention long enough to know you can’t get pregnant by swallowing sperm, then so can these other kids. I agree, this is a place for them to ask for advice—key word, advice,right there in the web site name. Its not called FunSexand ReproductionClass. They should be learning about these things in school and at home. I talk to my daughter all the time. She’s almost 14 and has questions about some things but we have been discussing things like this since she was like 9 or 10. Granted, there are too many kids in this world who’s parents aren’t involved, but that is where sexual education in the school curriculum comes in and that is why it is taught—to teach responsibility and what can happen if you aren’t responsible. I am an RN. And I have EVERY RIGHT to complain, and if you don’t like my complaining then YOU don’t have to read it. And do you know why these kids are asking these questions? Because everybody STAYED OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS. No, I’m not trying to be super woman, just can not understand why there is so much ignorance. And your attitude really pisses me off too. If everyone did what you suggested—staying out these kids business then the entire popilation of 13 to 17 year olds would be pregnant. Anger causes people to act a lot of times, to strike out and make a change. Why not use your anger at my question to do sometjing positive instead of bashing my thoughts. My purpose was to try and get people to act,,,but positively, unlike you.

Answer #2

ok, I am fourteen, and I COMPLETELY agree with this question. I think its so stupid for a bunch of teenagers to be running around having sex and for young girls to be asking about things like giving head and getting pregnant from it.

and also, I would just like to say to some of the adults on this site, in school, especially for younger teens I guess [that’s pretty much all I would know about] in our health classes, sure, they teach us how we could get pregnant, but they dont really teach about how to be protected and safe. they teach about all the diseases you could get from it, and that’s about it. oh, and the names of all the little detailed things in body parts. and I dont think that helps anyways.

but, maybe they dont even NEED to be teaching about safe sex if kids didnt run around HAVING sex like they need it to survive or something.

and I wish that more parents would talk to their kids about these things, too.

maybe if the world wasnt so obsessed with sex, everyone wouldnt be running around the way they do. I mean, serously, walk into a store and look at the kinds of magazines they have. SEX in big bold letters right across the front?? what the f__??

and its all over tv, and all over the internet, and all over in books and even in little kid stuff, they have sexual jokes that are WAY inappropriate for little kids. it pisses me off!!!

and just to let you know, I will NOT have sex untill my honey moon because I want to save myself until then. and I wont have such a big risk of getting pregnant before I graduate [pretty much, eh?]

also, to those who think its so wrong that twilightmom is angry with all the children on here who are getting pregnant, go die in a hole!! HEL-LO!!! kids do NOT need to be having sex!!! no thirteen year old girl should EVER be giving head. im sorry, but that is just so wrong.

ok, im done being angry now..

Answer #3

Definitely, understand what your saying mysterywolf…it still just gets to me. All this special funding for schools where the demographic your speaking of exists—just seems like its not be used properly or just flat out being ignored. Yes,, some of the questioms we see on here either make me want to cry my eyes out or just completely infuriate me, ya know. As a nurse, we try to educate our patients and teach them what they need to know about their illness and how to best take care of tjemselves,eating well,etc. I did that in my job, but I’m hearing through lots of kids on here where others entrusted with the education, care, and well-being of our children are not doing their job. And teenap spouting off about I should stay out of these kids business, if everyone held to that idea then none of these needy kids (and I mean needy in the emotional sense) would get any help at all (and thedude probably wouldn’t have such a quite successful site,!) If what I say here pisses off just 1 person enough to get involved, then they inspire (piss off) 1 person, and so on, and so on. Yeah, we might could change the world—1 person at a time.

Answer #4

well evreryone handle things diffently and everyone makes mistakes thts why we come on this website to talk to non judgmental people unlike u. so before you go callin us irrisponsible and judgin take a walk in our shoes.go thru sum of the ish we went thru.then we can talk

Answer #5

It isn’t the kids’ fault. Put the blame where it belongs: On society. Most everywhere in the modern world sex is portrayed as the ultimate end to everything.

Young teens are not equipped to separate fact from fancy. They don’t have the knowledge to be able to understand that “sex” is simply a sales tool and that life is really about more than just sex.

Young teens live for the moment. They are guided by the judgment of their peers, not by the opinions of adults. In most cases the parents fail to communicate adequate knowledge about sex to their children and the schools are failing to educate in a manner that overcomes peer pressure.

Until society decides to change its attitude about sex promotion in everything and children start getting better education and information, teens will always be pushing their sexual limits without proper knowledge.

And, as to the numbers of teens asking the same questions on this site, this site has a flood of “new” teens on it all of the time, so they are bound to keep repeating questions that have been asked many times before.

It is up to us to show tolerance and continue to give them the best information and guidance that we are able to give.

        Simply a Rose to brighten your day,         And maybe lessen the cares in your way;         And also, too, to help you to know,         That in knowing you, many others grow!

Answer #6

I’m sorry dear, but “a lot more mature”? If they were mature, I think they would be using some type of contraception don’t u?

The emotional issues you described– I can understand that, but why do you hate being alone. If you were to see a therapist (and I’m certainly not saying you need to–just giving an example) they would tell you that you are co-dependent and that you are capable of being on your own. I used to be the same way, I felt that my life wasn’t “complete” w/out a boyfriend. I did go to counseling and realized that for someone to be able to love me, I had to be able to love myself first. And part of that self-love was to know that, yes–I can function and survive on my own. 2 years later I started dating someone—that was 17 years ago and we have been married 15 years and have a beautiful 14 year old daughter! When I wasn’t looking, and feeling as if I HAD to be with someone–then someone found me, and we have been able to have a semi healthy relationship for all these years (of course, no relationship is perfect)

Back to the teens, I truly can not agree w/ that comment. Sorry… );

Answer #7

To add to a previous post, in schools they don’t teach you how to keep yourself safe from sex. All they teach you is that if a sperm and an egg meet, it will produce a baby and the parts of the reproductive system. In my school, they didn’t even teach us about STDs. I found that out for myself and from my friends. I heard of the birth control pill but I never knew how I worked or what it does to you.

I never learnt any of the little facts about sex like “swallowing cum won’t get you pregnant” and all the things that could give you STDs if your not careful.

So really I do blame the schools for not teaching us everything. I am 16 now and I know 3 girls in my year that are pregnant or have gotten pregnant and had an abortion. One girl I know has had a baby recently and she is doing very well - she has JUST turned 16.

I put blame on the schools but I’m not defending my age group, some girls my age are very ignorant when it comes to sex. They can be very irresponsible too.

I come on here mostly everyday and I see at least 6 or 7 new posts saying “I’m pregnant and a teenager” “Pregnant” “14 and pregnant” and so on. It’s disgraceful.

Answer #8

Im a teen and I only read like half your questoin so correct me if im off base. Not all teens are like that and the who are are just curious it something forbidden we are curious as to why. See my parents didnt make it seem forbidden so im not as curious about it I hope the sorta answers your question.=.]:

Answer #9

I do understand where you are comming from. it is annoying but think of movies like juno, knocked up, sugar and spice or shows like life of an american teenager. the make having a baby at a young age seem okay. because of shows, movies, and celebrities young woman think that sex it okay. and there are so many girls who have a low self esteem and think doing sexual things will make boys like them more. thats what I think. I also think if a girl is too shy to buy condoms or talk openly about sex they shouldnt be doing it. I dont understand why they are like this. it will always be a mystery to me. the other question on this site that annoys me are the am I pregnant questions. even the older people on here ask. its annoying to me. I just want to say buy a test already.

Answer #10

I agree about the abortion thing and the teen pregnancy but they are trying to learn about sex so they can be safe and know what they are doing. the people on here should give advice about safe sex. and if you are so pissed about it then dont read it! they are not your children! and if there parents are involved in their life they would still be doing it anyways. these kids need to learn it from some were, better to learn it here then go out and learn it from a child molester!!! so just stay out of the kids business because you are not super woman and cannot save the world by posting a question!!! and by the way im 22 years old im not a child if thats what you are thinking. I lost my virginity at 16 and I have never been pregnant!!! because the school gave me free condoms

Answer #11

No one said they were bad…all I’m wondering is WHY is no one taking the information they have available today and USING IT! Yes, if you read my post then you would have seen that I did say that kids were having sex—but we were USING PROTECTION. We didn’t have the resources kids have today—read my post again before blowing off a buncha junk. No one passed out condoms at our school, there was no parent/Dr/ teenager confidentiality. If I told my Doc back then that I was sexually active they could tell my parents, they can’t do that now. We had to have a parents permission to be seen at Planned Parenthood if we were under 18! You guys DON’T!!! Why don’t you go back and read my question carefully! Then, you might have something to say that you can defend with correctness!!

Answer #12

Lol…understand that one 100%, its like go talk to that isle in WalMart, K!? Oh, I so know what your saying. Sex and having babies is just represented completely wrong nowadays. Kids think sex is cool and the “only way to show him you love him”, sex=love. I’ve told my daughter every line a guy could possibly come up with to get what he wants. I think I covered most of them and a few extras!! (: she laughed when I told her some of these and asked me “do they really think we’re THAT stupid” to believe some of that! Hahaha… I guess I”ll just keep on,keepin on like you said Yummeh and just do what I”ve been doing and hoping its enough-but at the end of the day know I’ve tried my best to help someone.

Answer #13

You know, when 13 year olds ask if giving head can make them pregnant, I am sometimes tempted to just say yes, haha. At least that would stop them from doing something regrettable. I think mysterywolf is right in this case. Certain areas are not as well educated on such things as others and not all people like this are actually educated at all. I know it can be hard to answer the same question over and over again, but at the end of the day you need to remember that you could be helping someone and changing his/ her life in doing so. Look on the bright side and you’ll feel a lot better when you answer the questions :).

Answer #14

I’m with you 100% on this twilightmom, it does sound pretty ridiculous! However, after awhile I realized that all these uneducated questions are coming from a certain demographic of teenagers, and not representative of the majority of teens. :)

Funadvice is here for all the troubled teens/adults, people with permanent/temporary problems – it is an advice site. They make up the majority of the FunAdvice community, while the rest are here to help, keep it fun, and to communicate with friends of course!

So it makes sense that in a site like this, you would find all sorts of questions that are outrageous or shocking.

Answer #15

I get where your coming from but Im a 16 yr old girl I have never had sex I have only kissed a boy so there for I dont see why girls or boys are so wanting to have sex I was informed about sex at a young age and I have never thought of it as appealing Sex is something that should wait we have a pregnant girl at my school and it ticks me off cause the big controversy was over whos it was so I totally get where your coming from

Answer #16

Partygirl… you sound like you have a very level head on your shoulders. Awesome for todays day and age. your right, it is a “forbidden curiosity” for a lot of kids. I’m talking to my daughter a lot, started talking at around 9 or 10 and she has no problem coming to me with questions she may have. Sounds like its the same with you and your family…if all parents were like your”s we wouldn’t even be having this conversation would we!

Answer #17

not all teens are irrisponsible I mean everyone has there own personal problems and people deal with things in different ways like for me I started having sex at a veryyoung age because I felt loved my parents werent there for me and I hate to be single hate it hate it hate it. but that hasnt stoped me from doing good in school and being a good person you have to look at it in a teens point of view and not a mothers the generatiion today is a lot more mature

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