Who would win this custody battle?

I’m 22. My ex-girlfriend, Maria, is 24. My son, Lucian, is five.

I currently have Lucian. He’s been with me since she cheated on me with my brother. I let him choose who he wanted to stay with.

Seeing as Maria raised him for five years, I felt awful keeping him from her and I actually set up dates for him to spend the night at her house. She thanked me by hitting him, telling him he doesn’t really love her and saying that he’s a selfish little brat. He called me, crying, while she was pounding on the bathroom door, screaming at him to come out. I have an ‘09 Cobalt SS. I was at the house before she got into the bathroom.

I should clarify that I’d never seen her hit him before and I really didn’t think she would abuse him. I had never imagined it. Later, he told me stories about how badly she’d abuse him for the four and a half years before I knew he existed.

She left bruises on him. He insisted that he never wanted to see her, again. We left it at that. He’s terrified of her. He rightfully feels safer, here.

Maria insists that she deserves custody of Lucian because she is his mother and every child needs a mother.

In court, her case will be my mental instability. I’ve spent over a week in mental lockup. I’ve been known to wake up from nightmares with severe scratches all over myself from my own fingernails. I’ve severely mutilated myself in the past. I have also been diagnosed with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My record has been very clear since I broke up with Maria. I’m actually dating a psychologist and he makes an absolutely fantastic boyfriend. (I’m not “bi.” I was strictly in denial before I met him and I have never been happier. I am gay and I finally know it.)

I have never harmed Lucian and I’ve never felt more stable in my life. I’m simply terrified of how my record is going to effect me in court (if she ever coughs up the money for a lawyer.)

Will Lucian’s opinion count? I realize that he’s only five, but he’s very capable of making his own decisions and he knows very well that Maria scares him.