who has experienced this?

As unfortunate and guilt-inducing as it is, it’s a pretty common occurrence, don’t feel awful or totally alone. Not that it happens to everyone or that it should happen at all, but in college, experimenting with the opposite sex and alcohol, things can easily get out of control. Calling this rape is a little bit of an overstatement, as you never actually told him ‘No’ or ‘Stop’, but it is sick and hurtful behavior and is something this guy shouldn’t have done. You’re still a virgin so you don’t have to worry about that, but I would see this as a learning experience that getting drunk puts your judgment, and therefore your virginity, in danger. You just shouldn’t put yourself in bad situations like that. From now on, if you drink and crash with someone, make a pact with your girlfriends that you’ll watch out for one another and only sleep with each other if space is limited.

When you’re young and inexperienced, it’s natural to feel that way after any sort of sexual encounter–even if everything else is otherwise very positive. In your case, I understand because you probably feel that you let someone do that to you when you didn’t want to.

That’s absolutely NOT the case. This person took advantage of you. You were in no state to say “yes” or “no” to him, and what he did was wrong. And I hope I’m clear on that: what HE did was wrong, and had NOTHING to do with what you did or didn’t do.

Talk with your friends about it, or a counselor, priest, advisor… someone that you trust and that you know cares about you. I know it can be hard, or even embarrassing at first, but it CAN help.

And finally, please don’t let yourself think that sex is a bad, disgusting, or dirty thing. I applaud you for waiting, especially in this day and age, and I hope that when the time comes for you you’ll be able find out that sex can be a wonderful, exciting, and very fun experience–especially with the right person.

no you shouldnt hate yourself. you were drink. and then you didnt do anyting because you were scared. you shud be glad he didnt rape you but still this is pretty much the ssame thing. do you know who the guy is? I know a lot of gurls that this happens to and even way worse and they know the guy and just forget about it(but end up doind things like drugs, depression, etc) but if you want you can report it… or you can even talk to someone about it. because it can affect you in the long run and you mite not even know it. but yeah you do have a reason to feel dirty. not because of your self but because some disgustin prick touched u. my virignity was important to me too. I don’t know what I wudve done if anyone touched me before the person I wanted to me touched me you know. but yeah idkk. hopefully someone who has experienced this gives you advice.

Okay

1. you were in shock even if you werent drunk you would still be in a lot of shock.
2. You shouldn’t feel disgusting or dirty.
3. He but HIS finger in you with out your permission. Now I think of it of rape but yet I dont cause I think of it more of molestation because I think your virginity is tooken by a d*ck but also think he kind of rape you

oh and no I dont know who he is.

hmm. thanks girls