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When you ask God "Why don't you kill me already?"

A friend of mine has recently written me a frenzied e-mail asking

“If sometimes when I get really depressed or hurt, and I say “I hope I get killed” or “God why don’t you just let me die?” and I DON’T mean it, can God get mad at me and kill me? I’ve been roller-coastering very intensely through this emotion especially when my paretnts spew malice at me and hit me or those I thought were my friends stab me in the back… that I would like nothing better but to curl up and die, AT THE TIME. I fantsize about death and different ways I might die. I hurt so much inside…Even if I know I’ll get through it, and things will get better, I’m really scared that ultimately, one of these times, God will be like “Fine…” and punish me by taking my life.”

My answer was as such: I believe in the Almighty God, who, as the Creator of All there Is, (I choose to believe) is both male and female and the sum total of everything. Through His/Her great, great love, we each have life. When we die, it is the end of the series of lessons we came here (were born) to learn. When little children say (often many times), “I wish I was dead,” or “I wish you were dead,” we, the adults know that they don’t mean it, that they are struggling with some lesson that will help them grow, even if it is a hard lesson. As adults, don’t kill them because they say things like that (at least not sane adults…the people who kill children have never really grown up themselves). But just because people lose faith in themselves, in others and in God, God, the Supreme Creator All-Loving and All Wise never loses faith in the creatures He/She has created. God knows you are struggling now and that you have struggled long in the past, and His great love is sustaining you and helping you even when it seems like you have been deserted…it’s all part of the training. Your heart is pure (even if you don’t think so) because it is full of love that you haven’t yet recognized. God has plans for you and is preparing you to be strong enough to do that work.

What are your thoughts about my friends question? They’re concertned that their wishing is going to result either in someone’s death or their own as punishment.

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Answer #1

OH, by the way, I got so carried away in the spirit, that I forgot the question.

You are exactly right in your answer. Just stand in that.. and refuse to budge.

And God is both male and femine, as he can be all things to all people.

Mother, Father, sister, brother, friend, the lover of our soul, our instructor, our guide, our protector, he is our all in all. He is Jehovah God. The Great I AM of all Eternity.

Answer #2

There aren’t any gods running around granting wishes, so your friend is safe.

Answer #3

I don’t think that God has any true power. It’s amazing that we see life in such a naive was as to say: “ that the earth and all in it and around it was created perfectly” It may look perfect, but it isn’t. That brings up the common questions of why would God- the all knowing, all loving and forgiving, and creator of time, allow free will to torture us? We (as humans as a whole) kill people. We are evil and vile creatures that lie, cheat, and steal (I know it’s a chliche). But if an alien from another plante-whether you believe in them or not) they wouldn’t see us as beautiful humans, even if they could understand our language and thought. Through a telescope, our human species lacks goodness as a whole. Animals are in a way better than humans because they don’t fabricate tall tales, nor spill white-lies in order to get their way. They are ruthlessly truthful–and yet they are considered barbaric and primitive for this? The feeling of the holy spirit passing through our souls defines love, but God–as the painted picture he is in our minds, can’t possibly be that wonderful entity we feel when our prayers are answered in bliss. How can God allow human nature to harm other humans. Does he not have the power to stop it? If he does have the power, why doesn’t he stop it? I suppose this has to do with free will, but even considering free will–we were given free will to either choose living life in bliss (in adam and eve’s time) or take the apple of knowledge, but live without knowledge. It’s a catch 22! You can either live in bliss without knowledge or either live in knowledge without bliss. That isn’t free choice. When two options are negative outcomes and at least one is forced upon you (living in bliss was a natural consequence of not eating the apple) then it is not free will. That is evil. This suggests that God is evil, for thus implementing an evil plan from the beginning–which supports all arguments. Who would want to believe that their God–the only god in the universe and the creator of all things, is evil?!That’s why I don’t think bliss and the holy spirt are God at all. What if they are just spirits? What if it’s just a reflection of your brain? We don’t know.

Answer #4

OH honey… wowowo… your answer gave me chills !!! You are sooo full of wisdom… This is absolutely wonderful. Do you even know how you got this wise, at your young age?

This has to be Gods hand on you, in a mighty way, for it is sooo unlike most young people.

Some that are very mature in the Lord, might not even have this much wisdom

I am amazed. This has to come from God, there is no other way, that you would have this much understanding.

You are Gods Firebride. Coming out of the wilderness, of uncertainties, and afflictions. But… God… has his hand upon you, in a mighty way. You are safe with him, Seek him… continually thru his word, and his spirit. He will give you the answers that you desire.

This is what it is going to take to wake up this generation, and turn them around.

They are spiritually dead.

God wants to bring life.

He does that thru the power of his Holy Spirit, living within a believer.

You are chosen.

To bring the truth of God, to a dying world.

Learn to run to the word, it is a shield.

Learn to walk in the spirit. It will perserve you.

Seek God.. continually… he is your rock. Your anchor. Your protector. Your director.

He is all you need.

Listen for his counsel.

Do not follow another.

There are many voices in the world, all vieing for your attention.

Turn away … and tune in to God, and him alone.

God be with you. Mail me anytime.

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