Whats happening?

Alright, I only just turned 16 yesterday.. I'm having really bad issues with my mum & her boyfriend.. my mum and I have lived by our selves with each other ever since she broke up from her ex years and years ago when I was young as a one digit number.
my mum has always said she doesn't want to be alone for the rest of her life for when I move out etc. she has told me she doesn't want to end up like her mum (My nanna) as my nanna is horrible and rude and has nothing nice to say about anybody, she's also very lonely. Anyway, my mum has a new boyfriend named Paul.. I have gotten along with Paul until I've seen things from my point of view, like I don't exactly know for sure but it seems he's using her for a home and money etc.
I obsolutley hate his guts! Mum had bought a fairly new car, as Paul is an extreme Holden fan.. he never lets mum drive at all and I don't understand why mum would buy this car.. its either a v8 or v6 2003 model club sport. not the kind of car my mum would buy as for Paul YEAH! it has always concerned me and still does, if she pay the car off by her own self.. but she says shes not.. I have never seen mum gone so poor until now.. shes like $30,000 in debts on three credit cards! now Paul wants a Hilux Ute so that he can go hunting.. He also wants a huge aquarium tank, a tinny for fishing and to buy land in Millmarren! he doesn't even have a job.. and if he does he always loses them in 3 months! Paul doesn't do anything around the house he either sits on his bum and plays his precious x box 360 and yells at it if he loses on something.. or sit on his bum again! mum is always left for cleaning up after him.. He tries telling me what to do and what not to do.. I never listen because he isn't my father and I'll only take orders from my parents of family only.. and I don't consider him as family.. he is the reason why I moved out of the house and moved in with my dad.. he argues and carry's on to me.. like I'm 16? who the hell would argue with a 16 year old?
everyone in my family doesn't talk to my mum because of him and it made her sad because noone was there for her.. I was there for her as much I could.. and it was like as if I was getting pushed out the door.

Everyone in my family hates Paul aswell as anybody who meets him.. because my mum is so poor aswell as paul ofcourse.. Paul has convinced my mum to grow weed, now my mum is not that kind of person she never touches drugs and never has in her life.. Paul went shopping to buy the supplies to grow the weed with my boyfriend, of course my boyfriend has no idea until he sees what he is buying, Paul tells my boyfriend Jason what he plans on doing.. then Jason tells me what they were doing.. I didn't believe it at first I asked mum what she was doing and she lied to me and made something up.. then later on Jason tells me more.. I asked mum once again I was crying to her.. because I worry about her all the time.. ever since she met Paul because I knew him before mum did as he was my dads friend not any more.. I knew mum was lieing.. she had never lied to me before unless it was something to protect my feelings.. Later on Paul had found out and got really mad with Jason telling what they were planning.. which was stupid because hes my boyfriend of course he's going to tell me, he tells me everything, apart from that Paul didn't say not to tell me to Jason. of course I told mum I didn't want to see her anymore, I didn't mean it.. because I love my mum to pieces but she pushed me away.. she even told my dad she didn't want to have anything to do with anymore.. Paul was saying it had nothing to do with me what they were planning, I but thought it did because that's my mum we tell each other everything.. shes was my best friend and I could run to her about everything... it was my birthday yesterday and I never got a word from her.. I cried nearly all day because of that, and it kind of ruined my birthday.. I have no idea what to do anymore I'm so lonely and depressed..it feels like everyone I loved does'nt care for me anymore.. but its not.. it's just my mum.. Dad told me that paul was going to move his evil daughter in, now that I'm gone.. please anyone who will help me or tell me what I should do.. I would more than just appreciate it ..
P.S I'm sorry for the long story, I thought it would help it I wrote it in more detail.

5 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 5

I do love both my parents, it just hard as mum was there for me most of my life more than my dad, as mum had full custody of me.. I'm not saying I don't want to be with my dad I do very much so.. I have tried so many times how she is making me feel.. she doesn't believe that she is pushing me away.. she says I'm the one that moved out, and that she didn't push me away.. but even if I was still living with her.. I had hardly any time with her as Paul was always around, I couldn't talk to her about anything.. I couldn't spend any time with her because Paul would winged about it.. she says she doesn't take sides when me and Paul argue with each other but it seems she does.. and most of the time it's PAUL! I have tried to sit down and talk to her.. but she doesn't seem to take any notice on what I have to say.. My mum is the type of person who hates, absolutely hates being wrong, so its extremely hard to tell mum whats she is doing wrong that's hurting me.. ever since the start of her and Paul dating I've had extreme feelings that somethings going to happen to me and mums relationship.. & because of this feeling I said to mum I hope we never split apart and also I don't want you to push me away.. she promised she wouldn't ever do such a thing.. but she did.. I'm losing faith in my mum with what she says.. most of the time I have ignored what she is doing that's hurting me and try to be happy for her.. as the rest of the family didn't.. I tried holding on as long as I could but it was just getting too painful as seeing my mum slowly disappear to me. Me and mum have gone to counseling before and it hasn't worked, the counselor didn't even seem interested in helping me.. so I don't exactly trust counselors now. I just feel like she doesn't love me anymore.. and I can't just go and see her because she lives 3 and half hours away from me.. as Paul convinced her to move out into the country because Paul hates the city.. People around me have told me she see soon what Paul is doing etc etc. but I'm getting too impatient.. Paul's obviously convinced mum once again not to call me or anything on my birthday.. Mum listens to everything he says that's all she listens too.. He's obviously worth giving up the whole family for.. including my self.. I'm randomly bursting out of tears every time I think about her and what she would be doing right this moment..

Dad, had gotten a text from her yesterday.. the first time anyone had heard from her in months.. that she will be coming down on Wednesday to drop my dads trailer off she borrowed. and that she will be staying at my nanna's house so that she doesn't upset me.. but what I don't understand is what makes her think that she hasn't upset me? dad just said she probably means not upset me anymore than what I am.. I don't know what I am to do for when she comes down.. I was just thinking to stay at my boyfriends for when she is here but I don't know :(
I'm clueless. I dont feel like I should talk to her because she chose to not want to talk to me.. and I want to tbe the one to crawl back.. I want her to relise what she has done to me instead of me just telling her once again whats she is doing ...

anyway I really do appreciate you all for helping me with this manner..
:D


ANSWER #2 of 5

Right. I know what you mean.I have a stepmum called margaret and she got a boyfriend called jimmy that bosses her about, shouts, starts arguments with everyone, and after the first week of knowing her, he moves in & asks her to marry her. she is such a moron for believing all the crap coming from his mouth. Evveryone just ignored him, everyone moved out so now it's just margaret and jimmy.
Jimmy changed after a wqhile but instead of paying bills, margaret decided to pbuy jimmy weed.
There is hardly any food in the house & she wouldnt properly feed her family because jimmy was the first priority.

You are her DAUGHTER. she is making her lazy asre b*stard of a boyfriend first priority instead of you? people are so clingy. you mother is officially turned into another under the thumb girlfriend.I say you should go onto jeremy kyle as he will help solve the problem better than I ever could, he will arrange councilling and support that will be so beneficial to all of yous. I think you should just sit down with your mother, alone, and ask her why she is pushing you away. If she lies again, then just dont trust her from then on.

I think it was a good idea to move to your dads.

Jeremy kyle. phone it. I promise it would one be the best things you ever do.

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ANSWER #3 of 5

I am so sorry for what has been going on .But you should stay with the parent you like best .It is only another couple of years tull you can move out .It will be ok .

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ANSWER #4 of 5

y dont you ring mum and ask her if just you and her can meet up. Then you could tell her how you are feelin and that your worryed about her. Let her no ul always be there 4 her and you love her aswel. Try and stay calm while talkin t her maybe suggest that the 2 off you spend one day a week tgether just you 2 she mite start t understand how and why your feelin like you r. And in time she mite c her so called boyfriend as what he really is. But remember this isnt your fault or ya mums. Hope you get it sorted soon

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ANSWER #5 of 5

Wow so your mom doesn't even see that he's using her?!

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