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Why does my dad treat me so badly?
So i dont have a close relationship with my dad. We are always fighting about school,and how hes sick and tired of me failing. I go to a Charter School so i have policies to maintain. He doesnt understand how hard it is for me and everything in school then have to go back to his house every other weekend and deal with him always complaining. He asked me not to long ago what i wanted to do for high school and i told him im doing photography ( runs in the family but i adore it ) and he told me “ your gonna end up living in a small apartment , and on welfare , your lucky if you get paid $100 a week” and I thought to my self like how do you tell your daughter that and it just crushed my whole dream. He doesnt know how to talk to me without saying something the opposite that i wanna hear, and i cant talk to him because of the type of person he is. I know he wont approve of who i really am, and not to mention that my personality is not a bad one im really mature for my age and im just a normal teen. But from his view point im this person thats totally different and its bad . I dont know what to do , i kinda want to make this work but he doesnt even seem to try to himself .I try to be the bigger person, but he just denies everything. What should i do about my daddy issues , P.S i have a little 8 year old brother who is put through whats going on and my brother has to go though this and worry about if my dad was taking us away or not. I dont know what to do !
your dad i a regular norma father, who will keep thinking you are young and needs his protection and guidance, no matter how mature you think you are, dont forget he is older and more experienced in life thank you are, if he thinks you wont make money out of photography then maybe he is right, he knows better, why dont you try doing good in school and take up photography as a hobby, that way you please him and yourself, its a win win! and try not to talk back very often sit him down and explain and compromise about your issues. hope i helped
yes you did very , i guess im to young to kinda understand most of what he means , but thanks for the answer
you’re very welcome, glad i helped :)
Good advice from Mira.
Jaylynn, what is making school so hard for you? (I don’t know what “policies to maintain” means.) Is it something you could get help with? Maybe something your dad could help you with, or help you find the support you need to do better at school? That might relieve a lot of the pressure.
Also, try to write a list for yourself of things you love about your dad, ways that he’s been there for you or tried to be, fond memories, good qualities that maybe you’ve picked up from him (like a love for photography). Keep the list around so you can add to it whenever you think of (or discover) new things.
After you’ve done that, and you’re more in touch with the whole picture of your dad - the good parts and the difficult parts - sit down and write a letter to him, not to send but just for yourself, restating what you told us but this time do it the way you would like to explain it to him. Later, you can decide if you want to send it to him, or send him a different version, or not at all. The process might just give you some different ideas about how you could talk with him about what’s bothering you.
Thanks i appreciate the advice , i really needed that , im gonna write the letter , but maybe in time ill decide to give it to him , i understand where your coming from. and thanks again.
I bet if you stop to think about it….Your answer to the question “what do you want to be when you grow up” has already changed a few times since let’s say 5 yrs of age. At 13 it may still continue to change as you grow older. But as was posted, there is nothing wrong with doing a hobby till you know for certain what career direction your life will go. Your dad is just being a dad in worrying about your future. I think writing that letter is a good idea as well.
yeah it has changed , but thats what i have my mind set on . and thanks for the Advice
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