What type of attack is this? Nervous breakdown? anxiety attack? or panic attack?

It started when i was 14, i had a nervous breakdown nd went into manic depression when my mum left shortly after my 14th birthday, when she told me nd my sis, i was fine i didn’t think it’d be bad, thought it was for the best, until the next day it kicked in hard that my mum wouldn’t be round anymore, i’d still get to visit her but it wouldn’t be the same, nd i just shut down, i collapsed, my aunt found me saying i was in hysterics, shaking curled in a ball laughing nd sobbing at the same time, crying like a water damn exploded from my eyes, i was mumbling nd rocking back nd forth looking terrified, this caused me to have autophobia its where you have a fear of abandonment, nd it got worse after that i was under pressure alot nd stressed out constantly cos my dad blamed me nd my sis for the reason why our mum left but its cos my dad was a stupid violent drunk nd just couldnt believe he made her unlove him. anyway like 2 years after that me nd my sis went into an arguement about our mum sayin she abandoned us, thus the autophobia, after i couldnt take much more i started crying excessively, shaking, shortness of breathe like hiccuping short, my heart started hurting nd my lunges nd throat felt tight nd i felt numb like paralyze, i physically couldn’t move. nd that’s happened about 4 times since i was 14 now i’m 17, nd today i had the same, crying, shaking, thinking how shit i am nd how i’ve screwed up my life, rocking a lil, shortness of breathe, thightness in lungs throat nd heart nd feel paralyzed. i’ve been in bed since it’s happened and i just cant move, i feel like someone’s threatened me with a knife thats how scared i am right now. anyway sorry for the long intro but can anyone help?? much appreciated xxx